How do I make this feeling go away?

[hurt525]

Recently my fiance has been working a lot of over time. His profession does require some, but he has been working more than usual. I began to get suspisous of him, so one night when he said he had to work late i broke into his voice mail, and heard a message from a woman that he works with telling him to sit tight, that she had to run home to change and that she had to go by work anyway. She began the message with hey hun, and ended it with I love you. I check his cell phone records and he has been calling her home and having half hour calls with her quit frequently. I look in his address book and he had her # in there, but just her initals. I tried to keep what i new to my self so i could check on him more, but i couldn't do it. I sat him down and asked him who's initals they were. I played supid because I wanted him to come clean on his own. Of course he lied and told me that they stood for a contracting company they use at work. I questioned him a little on that but he still wouldn't come clean. So I told him that i had heard the voicemail. At first he denied even getting it, so i resighted it for him. Then he said he just didn't listen to the whole thing that he deleted it. Then i told him i knew about the phone calls and asked him to tell me the truth. He told me that she had a crush on him, and that it was "just talking". Of course i don't beleive that, and i told him that. He wont admit what he did. I did some more checking and this has been going on for 2 months. I have also found that he still has contact with her out side of work, i found her home # in his pager. Of course he has an explanation for everything. I am trying to face the fact that I have to leave him, but it hurts almost worse than staying with him. For the past 3 years he has been my bestfreind as well as my boyfreind. I don't know what to do. Should i let him stay, and give him anouther chance, or should i suck it up and just deal with the fact that i have to kick him out of my life.

[brashgal]

You are not even married and he is cheating on you. This does not bode well for a successful marriage, especially since he has lied to you about the details of his relationship with this other woman. If he has been speaking with her for 30 minutes at a time "quite often" over the past two months, you have to wonder what they are talking about outside of work.

 

It's going to hurt and I am so sorry you have to go through this but unless he admits he has been cheating, completely cuts off all contact with this woman and agrees to go to counselling with you - I'd say it was time to walk away.

[hurt525]

He is sticking to his story that he was talking to her because he needed advice on us, and that nothing phisical happened. He has agreed to counseling, but every time i check on him i find something. I find her number in his cell records and his pager. I recently found out that he has created a new online sceenname and email account that i didn't know about. I feel like even though he says that he loves me and he want to get help and work through this, he want to have his cake and eat it too.

[HokeyReligions]

suck it up and give him the boot -- you will be so much better for it. It may hurt for a while, but not as much as it's hurting now and if you stay together it will hurt even more.

[Lanapalace]

My husband cheated on me when we were dating - read about the life I am living now. Don't let it be you 10 years from now! Even if he does cut off ties and promise not to do it again - you have to get out. You are one of the lucky ones - you caught him!!! There will be someone else for you. After you break up, if you get through the first two weeks, it gets easier. Go out and have fun with your friends. Don't end up like me! If he cheats now, you will never ever completely trust him - trust me, I know. Best wishes & God Bless - You can do it!