jjjk

[Guy just disappears. how to find him?]

A really strange thing happened to me last week. This man called my cell phone, left a message saying he had dialed a wrong number, but liked my accent and would call me back. I thought this was some pervert at first, but when he called back it turned out that he and I got along well on the phone, and we even share the same ethnic background. We agreed to meet the next evening for a drink. It was obvious that he was really attracted to me, but I was sort of "on the reserve" because I didn't know him even though I found him "okay".

 

Anyhow, we had a nice meeting, and the next day he called me several times asking how I was. Each time he was interrupted (he is a heart surgeon working in a hospital)by the hospital. Anyhow, the last time he called he said he'd call back, and then he never did!

 

Three days went by, so I decided to call the hospital where he worked. When I asked for his name, they told me that no such person worked there!!To b

[jjjk (Help me with this one)]

(I was interrupted, sorry)

 

Anyhow, it turns out that this guy's number he gave me which I checked with information was the number of a public telephone!! No such name existed in the whole city.

 

I am furious with myself for being so stupid as not to have asked him for a card or some proof that he was the person he said he was. I do believe, though that he is a doctor and that he does work in a hospital. What would you suggest I do to find him and give him hell for tricking me?

 

SHould I just go to the hospital and describe what the man looks like? He is very distinct, and easy to pick out (a typical Orthodox-looking Jew with a beard, jet black hair, and a yarmulke on his head)

 

Why would he trick me like this?

[D.]

You ask:

 

"What would you suggest I do to find him and give him hell for tricking me?"

 

You should do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Do NOT try to find him. I am in great fear that he will find you! This man is obviously a certifiable nut to do what he did to you. It is my hope and prayer that he did NOT like you after you met (which was YES a very stupid thing to do, but you know that now).

 

If he did NOT like you, he will discontinue his pursuit. Otherwise you can easily have a stalking predicament on your hand ...... and possibly dangerous! Do not underestimate the gravity of what has transipired since the first anonymous phone call from this man. How do you think he got your number? Could be it was just a coincidence and he decided to follow up on meeting you if you were willing. But also could be that he found out from some other unknown source and knew who you were.

 

AVOID ANY FURTHER CONTACT WITH THIS MAN AT ALL COSTS AS YOU COULD VERY WELL BE IN DANGER!!!

 

"Should I just go to the hospital and describe what the man looks like? He is very distinct, and easy to pick out (a typical Orthodox-looking Jew with a beard, jet black hair, and a yarmulke on his head)"

 

YES, but ONLY if you are going to report his inappropiate conduct in having phoned you as a stranger, meeting you, lying, etc. Do NOT do it in order to find out his where abouts so you can "tell him off". DO NOT TRY TO CONTACT HIM! If he contacts you again and wishes to arrange a meeting, I would do so, make the police aware ahead of time of all that has happened from the first anonymous phone call and make SURE the police are at the establishment at the time you meet this man so that they can apprehend him for questioning. Hon, you do NOT know what you are dealing with. This is a police matter ... certainly not for you to become further involved with on your own.

 

"Why would he trick me like this?"

 

As I stated before, he exibits stalking behavior. He either got your number from some source as he saw you or heard of you somewhere (hopefully NOT a bathroom wall ... no offense, but guys can be pretty creepy sometimes) ORRRRR he reached your number by coincidence and decided to pursue. He is a nut case and NOT to be trusted ... especially with your physical well-being.

 

Again, this is a police matter. Do NOT appoach him on you own. He could very easily be an extremely dangerous person.

 

Be safe!

[Tony T]

It is very sad that some men have to resort to misrepresenting themselves to get the attention of ladies. This man may have tried many times to meet ladies by telling them his true profession but alas found success by representing himself as a doctor.

 

While there are many wonderful ladies in the world who make no judgements of men based on their profession or income, there are many who do. And there are so very many men who make judgements about women based solely on their appearance and even judge them harshly if they happen to have a prestige job that appears to be above their own level.

 

There are many men who are simply intimidated by an intelligent woman who is in reality a doctor, attorney, college professor, etc. (There are many men who are attracted to intelligent women as well)

 

There is a point to my revelation here so if you're in a hurry and you want to know what it is, skip to the last five paragraphs.

 

I wish to reveal the results of several experiments I conducted on America Online. These were experiments to see just how many people I could get instantly interested in me based on my profession and looks.

 

First, I created a screen name and posted a profile which noted me as a physician/medical doctor intern (used all those words so they would come up in a search), age 30, with an excellent physical description that no woman could pass up.

 

In that instance I got numerous Emails from ladies and more instant messages than I could ever hope for. I got many proposals to meet in person or for a date.

 

I also created a screen name of that of an actor. I did not name the actor but heavilly suggested I was one of a few very good-looking and popular film actors. Again, the ladies went wild...with Instant Messages (the second I signed on) and much Email.

 

My screen name revealing my true self as a photographer, real estate investor and advertising executive got little note except for the models who wanted me to take free pictures of them or who wanted to be in television commercials.

 

Additionally, just to see the phenomenon from a ladies point of view, I created the AOL screen name: LusciousBlndBabe. I posted a profile that would make any man salivate.

 

When I signed on to this screen name, within two minutes, I would have 20 to 25 instant messages from men suggesting everything from a chat or cybersex to a personal meeting and real sex. I was never able to stay on long because the Instant Messages were too numerous. I always got dozens of interest Email of the same nature as the Instant Messages.

 

**************MY POINT HERE*************

 

My point is that some people are enamored with doctors, actors, millionaires, etc. But doctors, actors, millionaires, etc., for the most part, don't go trawlling for guys or gals on the Internet. They meet plenty in person and don't have time to be aggravated by salivating strangers on some online service.

 

If in real person you are captivated by someone who represents himself as an actor, millionare, or in the case of the above post a heart surgeon, you deserve what you get. The man's got a beeper and a cell phone. Could be a drug dealer or a surgeon but the hope is that he's a surgeon. People get sucked into relationships because they want to believe what they want to believe.

 

I can suck in thousands of people on the Internet because they really WANT to believe what I say about myself is true, whether it's true or not.

 

You can't get sloppy in this love business. You have to pay attention. There are a lot of frauds out there, I mean a lot of frauds. But the person who deceives us the most if often our own self.

 

When you fall for somebody, you're already at a disadvantage because you have built them up in your mind beyond human dimensions. If they have lied to you about themselves and you have fallen for them as well, YOU ARE REALLY SCREWED.

 

To the person who posted above, I urge you not to schedule your next by-pass with this gentleman. You should have gone with your initial gut feeling...that he was some pervert.

[Tony T]

You listed a number of things you should have done in order not to get sucked in. You let your guard down. You didn't listen to your gut feeling initially. To your credit, you did remain reserved. But YOU are the one that made all the mistakes. HE is the one who was freely able to gain access to your companionship.

 

So why would you want to be hunting him down when it is your butt you ought to be kicking?

 

This man has no conscience and he would probably be flattered that he could hurt you so and you would take the time to find him.

 

I don't think you find him at a regular hospital anyway. He's more the type you would find at a Mental Hospital.

[Ajay]

Tony: Although I was amused by your online experiment and neither surprised nor shocked by your results,

 

I have to ask "Why did you bother?"; you already knew this was the case... (I think it is very sad that ANYBODY would feel they have to misrepresent themselves to get attention -- this is not exclusive to just "some men" ya'know -- but I know you know that as well). As usual, you bring up good points to share with us all. Thanks, Ajay

 

It is very sad that some men have to resort to misrepresenting themselves to get the attention of ladies. This man may have tried many times to meet ladies by telling them his true profession but alas found success by representing himself as a doctor. While there are many wonderful ladies in the world who make no judgements of men based on their profession or income, there are many who do. And there are so very many men who make judgements about women based solely on their appearance and even judge them harshly if they happen to have a prestige job that appears to be above their own level. There are many men who are simply intimidated by an intelligent woman who is in reality a doctor, attorney, college professor, etc. (There are many men who are attracted to intelligent women as well) There is a point to my revelation here so if you're in a hurry and you want to know what it is, skip to the last five paragraphs. I wish to reveal the results of several experiments I conducted on America Online. These were experiments to see just how many people I could get instantly interested in me based on my profession and looks.

 

First, I created a screen name and posted a profile which noted me as a physician/medical doctor intern (used all those words so they would come up in a search), age 30, with an excellent physical description that no woman could pass up. In that instance I got numerous Emails from ladies and more instant messages than I could ever hope for. I got many proposals to meet in person or for a date. I also created a screen name of that of an actor. I did not name the actor but heavilly suggested I was one of a few very good-looking and popular film actors. Again, the ladies went wild...with Instant Messages (the second I signed on) and much Email. My screen name revealing my true self as a photographer, real estate investor and advertising executive got little note except for the models who wanted me to take free pictures of them or who wanted to be in television commercials. Additionally, just to see the phenomenon from a ladies point of view, I created the AOL screen name: LusciousBlndBabe. I posted a profile that would make any man salivate. When I signed on to this screen name, within two minutes, I would have 20 to 25 instant messages from men suggesting everything from a chat or cybersex to a personal meeting and real sex. I was never able to stay on long because the Instant Messages were too numerous. I always got dozens of interest Email of the same nature as the Instant Messages. **************MY POINT HERE*************

 

My point is that some people are enamored with doctors, actors, millionaires, etc. But doctors, actors, millionaires, etc., for the most part, don't go trawlling for guys or gals on the Internet. They meet plenty in person and don't have time to be aggravated by salivating strangers on some online service. If in real person you are captivated by someone who represents himself as an actor, millionare, or in the case of the above post a heart surgeon, you deserve what you get. The man's got a beeper and a cell phone. Could be a drug dealer or a surgeon but the hope is that he's a surgeon. People get sucked into relationships because they want to believe what they want to believe. I can suck in thousands of people on the Internet because they really WANT to believe what I say about myself is true, whether it's true or not. You can't get sloppy in this love business. You have to pay attention. There are a lot of frauds out there, I mean a lot of frauds. But the person who deceives us the most if often our own self. When you fall for somebody, you're already at a disadvantage because you have built them up in your mind beyond human dimensions. If they have lied to you about themselves and you have fallen for them as well, YOU ARE REALLY SCREWED.

 

To the person who posted above, I urge you not to schedule your next by-pass with this gentleman. You should have gone with your initial gut feeling...that he was some pervert.