Anyone else feel like men get less out of relationshisp than women?

[Woggle]

My experiences with women have not been good and I have met more bad than good. I really wish that men could hear how their wives talk about when they are not around. They would be shocked to hear how their so called loving and devoted woman really feels about them.

[Thaddeus]

I really wish that men could hear how their wives talk about when they are not around. They would be shocked to hear how their so called loving and devoted woman really feels about them.

Funny you mention this.

 

In my last job I was the only guy in the department so had to suffer through a lot of "girl-talk." Most of it revolved around hair, shoes, clothes, nails and basic inter-office gossip, but when they spoke of their men it was almost as if they were having a contest to determine which had the worst boyfriend/spouse.

 

I know women are highly competitive amongst themselves but I had NO idea that male-bashing was such a bloodsport.

[Untouchable_Fire]

My experiences with women have not been good and I have met more bad than good. I really wish that men could hear how their wives talk about when they are not around. They would be shocked to hear how their so called loving and devoted woman really feels about them.

 

Bro, I can tell you've had some bad ones in your life. Do you have a good relationship with your mother?

 

I know what my flaws are, and I don't expect any woman to just ignore them. I'm sure if the wives out there knew exactly how their husbands thought the divorce rate would be 50% higher.

 

So, on the onehand I can understand what your saying and where your coming from... but you have to be realistic about life. Just because a woman vents about the traits you have that drive her nuts... doesn't mean she isn't loyal or devoted to you at heart. And... sometimes they just vent when the hormones come.

 

It's never as bad as you may think.

[Woggle]

Funny you mention this.

 

In my last job I was the only guy in the department so had to suffer through a lot of "girl-talk." Most of it revolved around hair, shoes, clothes, nails and basic inter-office gossip, but when they spoke of their men it was almost as if they were having a contest to determine which had the worst boyfriend/spouse.

 

I know women are highly competitive amongst themselves but I had NO idea that male-bashing was such a bloodsport.

 

I bet these men had no clue how they were perceived as well. They probably thought they had happy relationships.

[carhill]

I really wish that men could hear how their wives talk about when they are not around. They would be shocked to hear how their so called loving and devoted woman really feels about them.

 

LOL, here ya go. See him get roasted. Maybe a troll, but it was a good one

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t193771/

[sally4sara]

Bro, I can tell you've had some bad ones in your life. Do you have a good relationship with your mother?

 

Ohhhh noooooo, wrong question!

 

(here we go again)

[clv0116]

I know women are highly competitive amongst themselves but I had NO idea that male-bashing was such a bloodsport.

 

It is for some women, others do the right thing (so they tell me) and point out to their sisters that only a loser would be with a loser, sometimes more tactfully than that I suspect.

 

My sister, for one, is sort of famous for short-circuiting that sort of trash talk.

[sally4sara]

Funny you mention this.

 

In my last job I was the only guy in the department so had to suffer through a lot of "girl-talk." Most of it revolved around hair, shoes, clothes, nails and basic inter-office gossip, but when they spoke of their men it was almost as if they were having a contest to determine which had the worst boyfriend/spouse.

 

I know women are highly competitive amongst themselves but I had NO idea that male-bashing was such a bloodsport.

 

I was never very good at the SO/husband bashing. I end up taking it seriously and asking

"so then why are you still with them"

to which they always wave me off and say they're kidding or over exaggerating and to not take them so serious.

 

My SO is horrible at relaying info about plans some of our friends want to include us in or if he ran into one of our friends somewhere. I tell them if they want us to actually show up to whatever event they have planned, they need to call me rather than him.

Is this statement me bashing him?

[carhill]

If you ask them to call you about plans, no bash. If you continue with a rant about what a forgetful and self-involved SOB he is, that's a bash. What happens is that they look upon him when in his company as that person you have described to them. He, OTOH, is clueless. I can't speak for other men, but I never talked trash (outlined my criticisms) about my wife to my male friends. It's just not respectful of her or the M. I still don't, even though we're getting divorced. It's a personal standard I highly recommend

[sally4sara]

If you ask them to call you about plans, no bash. If you continue with a rant about what a forgetful and self-involved SOB he is, that's a bash. What happens is that they look upon him when in his company as that person you have described to them. He, OTOH, is clueless. I can't speak for other men, but I never talked trash (outlined my criticisms) about my wife to my male friends. It's just not respectful of her or the M. I still don't, even though we're getting divorced. It's a personal standard I highly recommend

 

I don't call him an SOB.

I have playfully poked on him about it in his presence when I find out what we missed out on. He is right there with me saying ridiculous things like "I did a lot of drugs in my teens; you know I don't remember anything!" and making jokes about taking the Gold Metal in the Olympic Forgetting competition.

Nothing that outweighs the jokes we make about me and my tendency to be petulant or defiant with little point when I'm angry.

Being able to laugh at yourself and recognize your flaws it a good thing IMO.

 

Maybe some men have thin skin and some women are harsher than they intend?

[Untouchable_Fire]

I don't call him an SOB.

I have playfully poked on him about it in his presence when I find out what we missed out on. He is right there with me saying ridiculous things like "I did a lot of drugs in my teens; you know I don't remember anything!" and making jokes about taking the Gold Metal in the Olympic Forgetting competition.

Nothing that outweighs the jokes we make about me and my tendency to be petulant or defiant with little point when I'm angry.

Being able to laugh at yourself and recognize your flaws it a good thing IMO.

Maybe some men have thin skin and some women are harsher than they intend?

 

Playful teasing is not bad. Everyone can tell when it is done out of anger.

[malcom5]

Funny you mention this.

 

In my last job I was the only guy in the department so had to suffer through a lot of "girl-talk." Most of it revolved around hair, shoes, clothes, nails and basic inter-office gossip, but when they spoke of their men it was almost as if they were having a contest to determine which had the worst boyfriend/spouse.

 

I know women are highly competitive amongst themselves but I had NO idea that male-bashing was such a bloodsport.

 

Pretty much what Thaddeus said. My entire life, I've never heard my mother say one good thing about my father. My sisters completely trash their husbands behind their backs. All it does is show me the truth that men and their roles in life and families have been completely devalued by society and women. It's all you see and hear. Men are this and that and blah blah blah.

 

Regarding the OP's list, can't say I disagree with the majority of it. It's the unfortunate truth. Sure it's a generalization, but I guarantee, most men can agree with a lot of things on the list, it's not just men spouting off a bunch of crap but whatever.

 

It's interesting to read posts from women here on LS, because so many seem to think they're the exception.

[carhill]

Being able to laugh at yourself and recognize your flaws it a good thing IMO.

 

Maybe some men have thin skin and some women are harsher than they intend?

 

I agree with this and it is gender-neutral. The key is respecting your partner. If light-hearted ridicule of him in public or private did bother him (or conversely, the reverse bothered you) your natural prioritization of your M/R would preclude furthering of it, or you would have to deal with the results and whatever boundaries are in place.

 

I say this because others (mainly friends) often noted my wife's ridicule of me in public where I didn't even notice it because I had become desensitized. They brought it to my attention. So, evidently, my thin skin does have a few callouses

 

The thread I referenced is a completely different matter and one I covered in MC, that being female friends conspiring to undermine a relationship or marriage. Death penalty to them, in my book. I lived that. No thanks. That skin is gone...

[Untouchable_Fire]

Pretty much what Thaddeus said. My entire life, I've never heard my mother say one good thing about my father. My sisters completely trash their husbands behind their backs. All it does is show me the truth that men and their roles in life and families have been completely devalued by society and women. It's all you see and hear. Men are this and that and blah blah blah.

Regarding the OP's list, can't say I disagree with the majority of it. It's the unfortunate truth. Sure it's a generalization, but I guarantee, most men can agree with a lot of things on the list, it's not just men spouting off a bunch of crap but whatever.

It's interesting to read posts from women here on LS, because so many seem to think they're the exception.

 

If a woman doesn't recognize your value... you should remove her from your life. People can't easily devalue you if you fight it.

[Trialbyfire]

Maybe I'll start a thread listing every single bad quality about every single man I know, including all the male members on LS, regardless if it's a male specific trait or not, and apply it as fact, to ALL MEN!

[HsMomma]

It's not really IG fault, the stat is intentionally presented in a deceptive way. One has to read very carefully to understand what is being compared and why it's useless as a measure of almost anything.

 

I just like calling her sugar pants.

 

Awwwww...clv...you silver-tongued devil, you! I don't believe for a moment that you are actually smarter than I, but I sure do like yanking your chain, sweet lips!

[The Collector]

I do think more men would die for their partner than vice versa. Maybe it's because men are more romantic than women. Women would die for their kids maybe more than men would. I'd be like 'we can probably make another one.'

[cn283]

What situation would that be?

 

Therefore women can't do an equal share of the protection.

 

And that is the greatest sacrifice.

 

Apparently though HSMomma checks on the noises in her house.

 

 

What situation? I really don't think in terms of "when will the next time our lives be in danger"...but really anything. It's not something I "owe" or something I'm "obligated" to do, I would do it because I love him and it would be my first reaction. If you want to give me a list of things, I'll check off all the things we would do for each other.

[HsMomma]

Sorry it took so long to respond - have been traveling in this Gawd-awful heat all day (up to 109 degrees) & just got back to my hotel room...yep, it's definitely the avatar, GT!!!

[Woggle]

My wife works with a bunch of husband bashers and they constantly try to pull her in. She wants no part of it which shows me that she is most likely a keeper. My ex fell in with this crowd and you all know what happened next and all I hear at work from the women is how horrible the men in their lives are. These men can't do anything right according to them.

[carhill]

The problem, IME, comes in when the boundary between 'venting' and prioritizing the 'problems' to the marriage is crossed and the "H is a jackass" becomes "you should leave H; you can do better". That's the line I'm talking about. Anything beyond that line IMO is toxic to the M and is completely the responsibility of the person or persons participating. Thanks for listening

[Woggle]

The problem, IME, comes in when the boundary between 'venting' and prioritizing the 'problems' to the marriage is crossed and the "H is a jackass" becomes "you should leave H; you can do better". That's the line I'm talking about. Anything beyond that line IMO is toxic to the M and is completely the responsibility of the person or persons participating. Thanks for listening

 

Most women have friends like this who seem to make it their mission to destroy a marriage. I have seen it happen time and time again. Women also help each other cheat and help each other generally screw over men. They have a secret society that your average man does not know about but I am fully aware of how scheming most of them are.

[Island Girl]

Most women have friends like this who seem to make it their mission to destroy a marriage. I have seen it happen time and time again. Women also help each other cheat and help each other generally screw over men. They have a secret society that your average man does not know about but I am fully aware of how scheming most of them are.

 

There are only a couple of friends that I would discuss my relationship issues with.

 

And I know they are the same type of woman that I am.

 

They are honest with me and when I discuss a situation I put out both sides - exactly what happened - and there are plenty of times where I am the one being told I was in the wrong.

Yes. By my own friends. Because in my world that is what friends do - friends tell you what you need to hear which isn't always what you want to hear.

I have done the same thing with them when they have been out of line.

 

I don't like women who just say everything is always the husbands fault -- or rally around the woman even if she is in the wrong or said something she shouldn't have.

They are man bashers.

Neither sex is always in the right or always in the wrong.

In the world, in this country, in the community, in relationships, etc. You just can't boil it down to one gender always being in the wrong and the other always being right. That is ridiculous.

 

I like honesty.

 

 

P.S. Thanks Wogs. I see you followed through on your promise to make an effort.

[Woggle]

There are only a couple of friends that I would discuss my relationship issues with.

 

And I know they are the same type of woman that I am.

 

They are honest with me and when I discuss a situation I put out both sides - exactly what happened - and there are plenty of times where I am the one being told I was in the wrong.

Yes. By my own friends. Because in my world that is what friends do - friends tell you what you need to hear which isn't always what you want to hear.

I have done the same thing with them when they have been out of line.

 

I don't like women who just say everything is always the husbands fault -- or rally around the woman even if she is in the wrong or said something she shouldn't have.

They are man bashers.

Neither sex is always in the right or always in the wrong.

In the world, in this country, in the community, in relationships, etc. You just can't boil it down to one gender always being in the wrong and the other always being right. That is ridiculous.

 

I like honesty.

 

 

P.S. Thanks Wogs. I see you followed through on your promise to make an effort.

 

All women do not participate in these networks but they do exist and they are very good at the game of deception.

 

When I get going I just type before I can really check myself. You know I am not talking about women such as yourself or all women.

[Island Girl]

All women do not participate in these networks but they do exist and they are very good at the game of deception.

 

I know. I very much have it in me. But as my brother says, I now use my powers for good not evil.

 

When I get going I just type before I can really check myself. You know I am not talking about women such as yourself or all women.

 

I was being sincere Woggle. You used "most" a couple of times. And I wanted to say thanks to you for that.