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The truth finally comes out


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Its long...

So my girlfriend cheated on me while she was on ecstasy at a party about a month into our relationship. She said they kissed and nothing else happened. I'm an idiot. She told me a week later, and swore nothing else happened. 5 months go by and the convo of this night comes up because I find out that she invited one of her best friends to the party (a guy) and didn't invite me, though earlier she claimed she had forgotten to invite me cuz she wasnt sober. She ended up telling me that, that week (spring break of course) she just wanted to party and get it all out. She said that in a much softer way, but i know thats what she meant, but she says she never meant to hook up with anyone. This started it all, after interrogating her it ends up like this: they went into the room(her and the random guy who gave her the ecstasy),they got naked, got on top of eachother, he gave her oral sex, and from what I gathered, they didn't have sex bc he could not get hard bc of the X.

Now the hard part, I forgave her 5 months ago, for what she had told me. Since then, she never wants to go to parties; she won't drink unless I'm around. We've grown so much closer, we literally spend 8-10 hours everyday with eachother. I've never had such a deep relationship with anybody. I can be the same person I am in front of the mirror with her. Are personalities match and we never get tired of eachother. I forgave her, but its such a hard situation. We had been together a month "unofficially" bc she broke up with her ex for me. So no one knew about us. It had really only been about two weeks into our relationship when it happened, and she was not sober. And she has changed so much since then. She really is a different person now. I just don't understand how she could do that to me. By the way, neither does she; she said she feels like a disgusting person, cried her eyes out, puked, and passed out from lack of breath. This was also due to me pushing her(not physically), asking what really happened, cuz it took that long to get the truth. My feelings for her havent changed but im angry. And the ecstasy makes it so confusing bc i dont know if anyone can stop themselves. But i almost feel like i want to put my love to the test, and see if i can take ecstasy and not try to have sex with a girl who is willing. And even if I could stop myself, she's a different person now. What the hell do I do? I dont know which way is up. I want to forgive her, i want to love her and at the same time.. I want to text another girl, not bc i like this other girl (I dont at all) I just want to in spite of her. I dont want to cheat on my gf, I just have this horrible feeing to balance the scales, which i know is not the solution. A part of me does want her to know how these pictures in my head of them naked together feel by cheating on her. Im angry and I'm hurt, and I cant believe I would even say I want to hurt her. She means so much to me and I love her but the anger is so much, I dont know if ill even be able to look at her the same. I keep going back and forth, back and forth.

 

SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE.

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She's a ho for sho!

 

Having taken Ecstasy in the past, I can tell you that it did not make me want to cheat on my girlfriend and did not make me uncontrollably frisky. The effects were that I loved all music (thought that all musicians and DJs I heard were geniuses) and thought my friends were even more great. THE ECSTASY IS AN EXCUSE and makes no difference to the kind of person you are.

 

You're deluding yourself if you think she's changed at all. You're protecting yourself from the truth and you know it. Or, as my uncle would say, you're thinking with your little head (she's really hot, right?).

 

The fact is, she has lied to you on multiple occassions and her actions show she has ZERO respect for you at all. Actions speak louder than words, my friend.

 

People don't change over 5 months and the minute she needs to get the party-out of her system, she'll revert back to her old self. You can't trust her, but from reading your post - I am sure this is not what you want to hear. Trust your gut on this one and RUN FOR THE HILLS before you get any more hurt.

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lostsunsets

You both need counseling. If you don't get it, the relationship will destruct. You need to find ways to cope with what she did, and she needs to find out why she did it. She obviously loves you. You obviously love her. If you want it to work, get some help.

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It's not a good sign that a couple weeks after you began dating her she was getting naked with some guy. Then the fact that she's pretty much been lying about it for your entire relationship.

 

Honestly, there is a chance she could of changed..but the question is..is she worth it to find out? She seems like a ho, so I'd say she's not really worth it.

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I hope she had STD tests in between doing the nasty with this drug dealer and having sex with you... god knows what diseases that guy had if he bangs every girl he gives drugs to, or if he injects harder drugs himself. Are you sure she didn't sell herself to him in exchange for an ecstacy pill? For me the relationship would be over if I heard such a revelation about my partner.

 

In addition to that, she was with another guy and she cheated on him with you for a whole month before dumping him... then she immediately banged a drug dealer behind your back and lied to you about it. She clearly has a history of cheating. If you really want to keep the relationship then get counselling, but my advice would be to dump her before she cheats for the third time during your relationship.

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Please don't do X just to "test" yourself and/or spite your gf. X does not make one unaware of what is going on or unable to control oneself - as the first response stated, your gf used X as an excuse for her behavior. So I can tell you right now, for a fact, if you do X, and you don't want to cheat on your gf - YOU WON'T. It really is a conscious decision.

 

She has a history of cheating. She lied to you. Think long and hard about if you really want to be in a relationship with this girl.

 

If she cheated on you at the beginning of your relationship, when it's supposed to be the "honeymoon phase" what makes you think she wouldn't later on when your relationship is old?

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LucreziaBorgia
She really is a different person now.

 

Any time measured in months is not enough time for someone to make the changes that need to be made in order for this to not happen again. Nor is it something that she can do on her own.

 

She is doing what she is doing out of fear of losing you, rather than true remorse. Once she is re-assured and comfortable again, she will fall back on those same old patterns. She is guilty, not remorseful. There is a huge difference.

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i have heard of another girl cheating on her husband while on ex.....that crap must be like horny pills or something

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Um, no. Everything feels fantastic and is the best thing ever...BUT ECSTASY DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON CHEAT.

 

If anything, the drinking was clouding her judgment, blah blah blah and all those dumb excuses. She didn't cheat because she was on e and couldn't control herself.

 

I will allow that a huge number of people who do e do it for the sole purpose of having an amazing hook up - because like I said everything feels so super fantastic.

 

So the problem is more that she took e - seems obvious she took it intending to hook up - rather than what happened AFTER she took it.

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