alwayslookingup Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 When we are engaged in a long distance relationship we can begin to loose a grasp on the real essence of the person. He or she can become gradually reduced to messages received daily instead of a real live person walking around in the world. The longer the time stretches out between real, in person connections the more disconnected we become from one another - even though we promised it wouldn't happen to us. We tell each other about our experiences, the new people we have met and places we have gone, but receiving this information is like reading a book, not experiencing things and people together. We loose out by not sharing all of those experiences and people that are in the process of sculpting who it is that we each, in our own venue,are becoming. When we next see our significant other, we will both have definitely changed, we see the change but we have not been a part of it and it can be very difficult to accommodate these differences. I recently read this in an article on long-distance relationships and I was curious if and how anyone has dealt with this issue personally. I just saw my LDR this past week and the whole time I just couldn't get over how weird it felt to be around him again. Advice is appreciate Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 I recently read this in an article on long-distance relationships and I was curious if and how anyone has dealt with this issue personally. I just saw my LDR this past week and the whole time I just couldn't get over how weird it felt to be around him again. Advice is appreciate I'm very concerned if you couldn't get over it for the whole WEEK. Yes I must admit, it is different, and when you meet them again initially after a long while it does take some time to adjust. Some take minutes, some take hours, but seldom have I heard of a week. Did you never feel comfortable with him for the entire week? How long have you been together and how long were you separated? I recently met my bf again after 5 months. There was a bit of initial awkwardness, but in a few hours' time it felt like he had never left. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alwayslookingup Posted July 13, 2009 Author Share Posted July 13, 2009 I was really only with him for a couple days, not a week. And, yes, I did feel comfortable around him for some time. I think another thing that added to it was that we were at his parents house in another state. I had never been there before and I always feel a little awkward as a house guest. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 Then that's normal, ain't it? I'm sure ITR couples encounter 'weird' situations with each other as well (first time one of them gets drunk, or the first time they meet the parents, etc). I don't see anything bad about it. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 When we are engaged in a long distance relationship we can begin to loose a grasp on the real essence of the person. He or she can become gradually reduced to messages received daily instead of a real live person walking around in the world. The longer the time stretches out between real, in person connections the more disconnected we become from one another - even though we promised it wouldn't happen to us. We tell each other about our experiences, the new people we have met and places we have gone, but receiving this information is like reading a book, not experiencing things and people together. We loose out by not sharing all of those experiences and people that are in the process of sculpting who it is that we each, in our own venue,are becoming. When we next see our significant other, we will both have definitely changed, we see the change but we have not been a part of it and it can be very difficult to accommodate these differences. I recently read this in an article on long-distance relationships and I was curious if and how anyone has dealt with this issue personally. I just saw my LDR this past week and the whole time I just couldn't get over how weird it felt to be around him again. Advice is appreciate Well, I can only speak for myself, but yes, the lack of seeing the person did take a toll and ultimately led to the demise. Everyone is different and every LDR is different so I am not generalizing. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted July 14, 2009 Share Posted July 14, 2009 With the length of time between visits I worried about this happening. But when I got there each time it has been as if we'd never been apart. I suppose we have a unique case because the people I know and talk here are people he knows as well. If I have gone places it is a couple of days away for a dog show or event. Nothing that would change me as a person - as they were the same things I did for years before he knew me. On his side, he can't go anywhere to experience anything new. And he doesn't meet anyone new -- there aren't any. He is around family that I have met and know somewhat. He has activities that he does there but it is always with family, the church, or his troop of boy scouts (which is a BIG thing there). We talk often and share as much as we always have. And we know each other better than anyone else due to our circumstances and what we have been through together. I always feel awkward around his family or in the social situations with other people that he is always around. But that had nothing to do with him. He and I are comfortable with each other even at those times. I don't think he feels the awkwardness but he can tell I how I am feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts