No Solution

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

Hell I am a 19 year old male currently going to college. I am having a very difficult time in trying to find a woman to start a relationship with. I have looked everywhere for articles that relate to my issue but none do. I don't know if there is a solution for my problem.

 

I never had a girlfriend and never been kissed. I am a virgin. Throughout school every girl(seriously) thinks that I am the ugliest piece of **** on God's green Earth. I have asked over 10 different women out on dates. They have all said no.

 

Women never show in interest in me. They never flirt back with me. Women always give me a disgusting look on their faces when I speak to them. People tell me I must have conficdence and women will like that. Well I had conficdence and women still do not like me.

 

Women have always told me there is only one problem with me. They say I am too ugly to date. Women who are my type and who are not my type do not find me attractive.

 

To completely judge this issue you need to know about me. I am 19 years old and is going to college. I enjoy playing basketball and bowling with my friends. I listen to some rock and pop music. My favorite TV shows are Family Guy, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, South Park, Criminal Minds, 24, etc. I am a huge WWE fan. My favorite wrestlers are Edge and Randy Orton. I am a collector of MegaMan and I like video games in general. My NBA team is the Lakers and my favorite football player is Brett Favre. I collect NBA and NFL trading cards. I attend local college basketball games. I am a christian.

 

I like to wear alot of sports gear. I have alot of sports jerseys. The only time I wear shorts is when I am wearing the matching pair to one of mine NBA jerseys. I own and wear suits.

 

Physically I am 6'2 weighting about 170 pounds so I am slender. I wear glasses. I am black. My ears do stretch out more horizontally which is different from most people.

 

I was very popular in high school and well known. I was not a jock but a cool guy. I'm funny, cool, and mature. Since I am into so many things I can relate to many different people. So I am out going and sociable. I can be a very nice person. I do have female friends but they are not anything more.

 

Here are my standards for women when it comes to dating and relationships. She must pass all of my standards. First She must be slender. I am not attracted to fat women. Second she must have at least a c cup. Small breast turn me off. Third she must be a Christian. I want someone with the same religious beliefs. Fourth she must dress nice. Fifth she must be clean. Sixth we must have good communication with one another. She needs a good nice personilaty and a respectable person.

 

Since women do not want me, I have turned to porn. I join a porn network named Brazzers on the internet and just download porn. I only watch storyline porn with slender women with big tits. I see this as the only choice God and women have given me. I must admit I do enjoy porn. I jack off to porn at least 3 times a day. I have over 200GB worth of it on my external harddrive all from the same network. However if I ever fine anyone I'm more than willing to stop watching porn.

 

Here is a small picture of myself for I can be judged.

[GorillaTheater]

You collect "MegaMan"? Whatever the hell that is, you proably want to keep that to yourself and not tell the ladies. Same with The List and porn.

 

Your best bet may be getting the opinion of one or more of your female friends. What you can do to improve your chances of getting a date. Alot of women enjoy that sort of thing.

 

Are you involved in your church? Volunteer activities? Besides the benefit from participating in those things for their own sake, there are generally alot of women there, too.

[Thaddeus]

Here is a small picture of myself for I can be judged.

First of all, my friend, nobody here is going to judge you on your appearance. (It IS a nice suit, by the way.) And I see nothing at all wrong with the way you look.

 

I see a couple of things going on here:

 

• This "list" you have. Now, some would suggest that it's good to have a list because it narrows down those qualities you'd like in a mate. Others may think it's shallow and excludes many people because they don't measure up to the items in the list. Personally, I'm firmly in the middle on that. Having a list of desired qualities is fine, but don't be afraid to keep the list flexible and date someone that maybe doesn't have all those qualities. Personality counts for a lot, even if she doesn't have huge knockers!
  
• You said that you feel you're ugly. Well, I don't see ugliness in the photo at all, but what I think is irrelevant. It only matters what you think. And if you think you're ugly, you're going to send off that vibe to women and they'll pick up on it. So knock that ugly stuff off right away. It's getting you nowhere.
  
• You may be coming addicted to porn. Stop. Just plain stop. Cancel your subscription (or however it works) to those porn sites. They'll do you no good. (For the record, I don't think a little bit of porn once in a while is necessarily a bad thing, but clearly an addiction is bad news and needs to be managed.)
  

Here's an idea that I'd like you to consider, feel free to use it or discard it as you see fit.

 

Take, say, 6 months and do NOT ask any women out. Call it a moratorium if you will. Spend those 6 months and so something that you would feel that would make you a better man. Learn a new language. Train for a marathon. Learn how to cook (I mean, REALLY cook, like Gordon Ramsay cook without the potty mouth). Doesn't really matter what it is, but do it for yourself, to make yourself a better man.

 

With that will come confidence. Now, I know you said that confidence isn't really an issue, but you kept going on and on and on about how ugly you think you are which tells me that confidence is a HUGE issue. So spend 6 months, become highly adept at something - anything - and use that as a foundation for the next step. And the next step will be asking girls out.

 

But first things first. Look at the bullet points above and consider them.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

Thaddeus I did not say from my point of view I am ugly. I am saying it from the point of view that women have given me.

 

You collect "MegaMan"? Whatever the hell that is, you proably want to keep that to yourself and not tell the ladies. Same with The List and porn.

 

Your best bet may be getting the opinion of one or more of your female friends. What you can do to improve your chances of getting a date. Alot of women enjoy that sort of thing.

 

Are you involved in your church? Volunteer activities? Besides the benefit from participating in those things for their own sake, there are generally alot of women there, too.

 

I never tell women about MegaMan and Porn. I have asked female friends about what is my problem. They tell me nothing is really wrong and my looks are average.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

Does anyone else have any advice towards me that deals with this situation?

 

Thank You.

[Citizen Erased]

Yeah, stop supporting Randy Orton and Edge. Now Chris Jericho...

[TaraMaiden]

As a woman?

Honestly?

 

From your pic, I do see what you mean about the ears, and maybe that's the feature that puts women off.

I dunno.

I'd get an op to pin them back a bit.

 

That said, you sound so clinical, so full of yourself and so dogmatic, that even if I was attracted to you, your conditions and manner would probably make me run a mile.

 

There's an apparent contradiction, in my eyes.

Surely, if a woman is a good Christian, loves you and has the faith you have - it's a bit of a puerile, superficial and frankly shallow consideration to demand she also has big tits.

You have some wacky ideas, to my mind.

 

I think you need a reality check.

What would your momma say if she knew how you appraise women, and how much porn you watch?

Which frankly, as a Christian, surprises me.

 

The photo is photoshop....

 

Can't help thinking there's a joke going on here.

But if there isn't, it's a sad day for guys when one of them posts things like this.........

 

As a woman.....

 

Honestly.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

As a woman?

Honestly?

 

From your pic, I do see what you mean about the ears, and maybe that's the feature that puts women off.

I dunno.

I'd get an op to pin them back a bit.

 

That said, you sound so clinical, so full of yourself and so dogmatic, that even if I was attracted to you, your conditions and manner would probably make me run a mile.

 

There's an apparent contradiction, in my eyes.

Surely, if a woman is a good Christian, loves you and has the faith you have - it's a bit of a puerile, superficial and frankly shallow consideration to demand she also has big tits.

You have some wacky ideas, to my mind.

 

I think you need a reality check.

What would your momma say if she knew how you appraise women, and how much porn you watch?

Which frankly, as a Christian, surprises me.

 

The photo is photoshop....

 

Can't help thinking there's a joke going on here.

But if there isn't, it's a sad day for guys when one of them posts things like this.........

 

As a woman.....

 

Honestly.

 

Please explain to me why I sound full of myself and dogmatic.

 

It is not superficial to want someone with the same religion. I would not date someone who has different religion beliefs. I would be friends with them but I would not date them. Small breast are a turn off for me. I would date someone who has small breast but not flat chested.

 

The photo is not photoshop. It was made for my senior pictures and I made a copy of it two years ago.

[TaraMaiden]

Please explain to me why I sound full of myself and dogmatic.

Ok, no problem....

It is not superficial to want someone with the same religion. I would not date someone who has different religion beliefs.

 

This is the least of your problems....

 

Here are my standards for women when it comes to dating and relationships. She must pass all of my standards.

THIS is your problem. Your standards....

You're so hung up on 'your standards', yet you can't find a woman to date you, for love nor money, because you say they tell you you're ugly.

So, no matter what standards you have for women - if you don't come up to their standards, they're all academic, aren't they?

instead of being so clinically demanding, why not relax a bit, and work on you, to improve who you are?

That way, you might hit first base, sometime....

 

First She must be slender. I am not attracted to fat women. Second she must have at least a c cup. Small breast turn me off. Third she must be a Christian.

 

And here, Christianity takes 3rd place. First you say it's the most important thing, but here, you say her shape and bust size are first and foremost. Don't you see how shallow this makes you sound?

Where's personality and character? Where's humour and morals?

 

..... Fourth she must dress nice. Fifth she must be clean. Sixth we must have good communication with one another. She needs a good nice personilaty and a respectable person.

 

Oh there they are. last-place-afterthought....

I think you need to address your priorities.....

 

Since women do not want me, I have turned to porn. I join a porn network named Brazzers on the internet and just download porn. I only watch storyline porn with slender women with big tits. I see this as the only choice God and women have given me.

See how shallow and hypocritical this is?

Tell your pastor, openly, how much porn you watch. I'm sure he'll be very supportive.

God din't give you this choice, you made it. Don't start laying this on him, he's got nothing to do with it.

You're a self-made hypocrite, dear.

 

I must admit I do enjoy porn. I jack off to porn at least 3 times a day. I have over 200GB worth of it on my external harddrive all from the same network. However if I ever fine anyone I'm more than willing to stop watching porn.

 

Who the hell cares how much you have and how many times you jerk off?? Why is this relevant? If anything is absolutely guaranteed to make anyone run, and fast, it's this bit of info! you won't need to stop then, will you?

Would you tell your future wife how much porrn you had, how much you watched, and how much you used to jerk off?

You think it would impress her?

It didn't impress me.....*bleah!*

 

does that answer your question?

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

Ok, no problem....

 

 

This is the least of your problems....

 

 

THIS is your problem. Your standards....

You're so hung up on 'your standards', yet you can't find a woman to date you, for love nor money, because you say they tell you you're ugly.

So, no matter what standards you have for women - if you don't come up to their standards, they're all academic, aren't they?

instead of being so clinically demanding, why not relax a bit, and work on you, to improve who you are?

That way, you might hit first base, sometime....

 

 

 

And here, Christianity takes 3rd place. First you say it's the most important thing, but here, you say her shape and bust size are first and foremost. Don't you see how shallow this makes you sound?

Where's personality and character? Where's humour and morals?

 

 

 

Oh there they are. last-place-afterthought....

I think you need to address your priorities.....

 

 

See how shallow and hypocritical this is?

Tell your pastor, openly, how much porn you watch. I'm sure he'll be very supportive.

God din't give you this choice, you made it. Don't start laying this on him, he's got nothing to do with it.

You're a self-made hypocrite, dear.

 

 

 

Who the hell cares how much you have and how many times you jerk off?? Why is this relevant? If anything is absolutely guaranteed to make anyone run, and fast, it's this bit of info! you won't need to stop then, will you?

Would you tell your future wife how much porrn you had, how much you watched, and how much you used to jerk off?

You think it would impress her?

It didn't impress me.....*bleah!*

 

does that answer your question?

 

All of my standards are equal. You act as if I did not mention personalty but in fact I did. My standards are not in any particular order.

 

I was not tying to impress anyone about the porn. I do not tell people in the real world I watch porn. I mention this because I said in the opening thread the only reason why I turn to porn was because no one has ever wanted me before. I just gave details about it.

[Thornton]

I am sceptical about whether this might be a troll. Assuming it's a genuine post...

 

You look fine to me. I'd suggest you ditch the glasses and get contact lenses, and perhaps look into having your ears pinned back. How you dress has a big impact on how women perceive you... it's difficult to tell how you normally dress from a photo where you're obviously dressed up. So perhaps get a female friend to appraise your normal style of dress and take you shopping if necessary. Finally, I think you're unlikely to find the right woman if you're so hung up on breast size... if she's a great girl and you get on, then imo breast size shouldn't be an issue. For someone who rates himself as unattractive, you have very high standards for the woman you want to date. Perhaps you should focus more on finding a nice attractive girl who shares your beliefs, and focus less on her breast size?

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

I am not rating myself as unattractive. I am just saying the opinions of the women who I have met in the real world.

[TaraMaiden]

You don't get it do you?

They rate you as "unattractive".

I rate you as "unattractive", due to your stringent conditions and standard demands.

Ergo - you are unattractive.

 

You need to work on you - looks and attitude - before making demands such as the ones you have made, because - as you are rated as unattractive - there's no point to them, if there's no woman who will go out with you, and therefore meet the standards you put forward.

 

Do you see...?

Forget your standards.

Until you attract women in the first place, there's no point in having them at all....

[boogieboy]

Aight Franklin this is easy.

 

From what I see in the picture you are well dressed. Thats the first thing. If you feel like the ladies find you unattractive, dressing well is the firstthing to offset looks. And wear hats.

 

Now I can only assume youre trying to date more than just black women?

 

Keep in mind that you have to approach alot more ladies ot the other races because keep in mind many of them wont date a black man based on their principles.

 

Now as far as approaching them, you have to get them attracted to you before asking them for numbers, and you have to further attract them to you before asking them out on dates. You cant ask them out on dates in one shot.

 

So all you need to do is stockpile a bunch of things to talk about and get womens opinions on, that they would be interested in. Like relationships. You can approach them with a question about something your friend is going though. And once that is done you have to have the next subject ready to go. Its all about having interesting things to discuss.

 

You should look up Mystery pick up artists. It will show you the dynamic of dating, and what to talk about. It will give you alot of insight into the psychology of whats going on in the dating dance, and how to avoid turning women off when you talk to them. Once you read up on this, it will open your eyes to the mistakes youre making that youcould never figure out on your own.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

You don't get it do you?

They rate you as "unattractive".

I rate you as "unattractive", due to your stringent conditions and standard demands.

Ergo - you are unattractive.

 

You need to work on you - looks and attitude - before making demands such as the ones you have made, because - as you are rated as unattractive - there's no point to them, if there's no woman who will go out with you, and therefore meet the standards you put forward.

 

Do you see...?

Forget your standards.

Until you attract women in the first place, there's no point in having them at all....

 

Part of the problem is women who are not my type also find me unattractive.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

Aight Franklin this is easy.

 

From what I see in the picture you are well dressed. Thats the first thing. If you feel like the ladies find you unattractive, dressing well is the firstthing to offset looks. And wear hats.

 

Now I can only assume youre trying to date more than just black women?

 

Keep in mind that you have to approach alot more ladies ot the other races because keep in mind many of them wont date a black man based on their principles.

 

Now as far as approaching them, you have to get them attracted to you before asking them for numbers, and you have to further attract them to you before asking them out on dates. You cant ask them out on dates in one shot.

 

So all you need to do is stockpile a bunch of things to talk about and get womens opinions on, that they would be interested in. Like relationships. You can approach them with a question about something your friend is going though. And once that is done you have to have the next subject ready to go. Its all about having interesting things to discuss.

 

You should look up Mystery pick up artists. It will show you the dynamic of dating, and what to talk about. It will give you alot of insight into the psychology of whats going on in the dating dance, and how to avoid turning women off when you talk to them. Once you read up on this, it will open your eyes to the mistakes youre making that youcould never figure out on your own.

 

Race does not matter to me. To be honest I am not attracted to a lot of black women because of their personality and/or looks.

 

When I talk to women I talk about interest we have in common and things she likes. I never try to talk about things I like and she does not unless she asks me about it or mentions it to me. I only ask out women who I have known for months. I like to get to know the woman as a good friend before thinking about a deeper relationship.

[TaraMaiden]

Part of the problem is women who are not my type also find me unattractive.

 

I rest my case......

[boogieboy]

I only ask out women who I have known for months. I like to get to know the woman as a good friend before thinking about a deeper relationship.

 

 

This is a bad habit. You could be putting your self in these womens friend zones if you hang around them and dont show interest. You have to work fast, start seeing them, and THEN take it slow. If a woman likesyou she wants you to move relatively fast, otherwise another guy will take her interest, and you get shoved off to the side, but they dont always tell you that.

 

So you have to start seeing them seriously, then you can take it slow from there. Thats why they keep denying you for dates.

[Els]

Cmon now, you guys can't all be taken in by him? I'm willing to bet BOTH of my pet hamsters that this is a troll (and I'm mighty fond of them too).

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

Cmon now, you guys can't all be taken in by him? I'm willing to bet BOTH of my pet hamsters that this is a troll (and I'm mighty fond of them too).

 

I only came to this site to get advice not to get bashed. I am telling the truth about my situation.

[TaraMaiden]

Race does not matter to me. To be honest I am not attracted to a lot of black women because of their personality and/or looks.

That's a bit of a sweeping statement.... black women have poor personalities in comparison to white women?

in what way?

 

 

When I talk to women I talk about interest we have in common and things she likes. I never try to talk about things I like and she does not unless she asks me about it or mentions it to me. I only ask out women who I have known for months. I like to get to know the woman as a good friend before thinking about a deeper relationship.

 

So you have a lot of good women friends, but nobody will go out with you because they say you're ugly....?

you either have poor but persistent taste in friends, or something isn't sitting right, here.....

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

That's a bit of a sweeping statement.... black women have poor personalities in comparison to white women?

in what way?

 

 

 

 

So you have a lot of good women friends, but nobody will go out with you because they say you're ugly....?

you either have poor but persistent taste in friends, or something isn't sitting right, here.....

 

Never said black women had poor personalities compared to any race. Most of the black women I know are not the type of person I would date because of their personality and/or looks.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

This is a bad habit. You could be putting your self in these womens friend zones if you hang around them and dont show interest. You have to work fast, start seeing them, and THEN take it slow. If a woman likesyou she wants you to move relatively fast, otherwise another guy will take her interest, and you get shoved off to the side, but they dont always tell you that.

 

So you have to start seeing them seriously, then you can take it slow from there. Thats why they keep denying you for dates.

 

I show the women who I like interest to them. I want to know someone before I date them. I don't want to date someone I know little about.

 

When I was in high school two years ago this one girl showed interest to me and I liked her. She was a cheerleader and was friends with me for a few years. She wrote me a few love letters and she said she liked me. Well when I asked her out she completely changed on me. She told me she lied about everything she said. She never did want me. I was extremely angry. I have not spoken to her since.