Is it me or are women just extremely shallow?

[whichwayisup]

I've only read abit of your thread..

 

This isn't my complaint. My complaint is that these same women, after knowing he is taken/not interested, still refuse to give up their interest for the next best thing (me). If two girls one amazing looking and another OK looking with the same personality, and the amazingly hot one is taken, I Will be more than content with the ok looking one, rather than hold on my whole life for the hot one to cheat on their SO.

Then you DO NOT want those kind of women, women who don't care that is he unavailable and in a relationship. Doesn't that say alot about respect? Seems he acts aloof and uninterested, but at the same time gets a kick out of it and THAT is what women find attractive.. They cannot "have" him so it's more the thrill of it all, trying to get his attention. That and he may have a certain 'sexual' vibe about him that just attracks women in general.

 

Anyway, I hate to say it, but it seems you have abit of the 'short man' syndrome going on.

[whichwayisup]

I'm actually really surprised you are female you seem really wise.

 

Well, this could be something..Is it possible that it's just you? Your way of thinking about women in general? The vibe you give off, the energy around you?

 

What you said to Taramere is quite insulting actually.. I don't think you meant it to be, but it is. Being surprised that a female could be wise.

[Taramere]

What you said to Taramere is quite insulting actually.. I don't think you meant it to be, but it is. Being surprised that a female could be wise.

 

I suspect that he thought I sounded wise because my post seemed to coincide more with his perceptions. Not, perhaps, the correct interpretation of the word "wise", but undoubtedly the most commonly applied one.

[BOLTON33]

I've only read abit of your thread..

 

 

Then you DO NOT want those kind of women, women who don't care that is he unavailable and in a relationship. Doesn't that say alot about respect? Seems he acts aloof and uninterested, but at the same time gets a kick out of it and THAT is what women find attractive.. They cannot "have" him so it's more the thrill of it all, trying to get his attention. That and he may have a certain 'sexual' vibe about him that just attracks women in general.[/Quote]

 

This thread was doing just fine without the cliche parrots.

 

I do know what you are talking about, and let me make this clear ,he has no sexual vibe or masculine aura to him, at all. I know guys who do and they score, but my buddy doesn't .

 

I find the idea that women will all get in line and fight eachother over a guy just because he "acts aloof and uninterested" in them. If that's all it took, than everyone would have a girlfriend, no, would have women, LINING up for them. A lot of guys think that because a tall handsome guy can get away with being aloof and uninterested in women, that this is what makes him attractive to women, but it's not. What it means is that the women will be willing to tolerate any amount of B.S. for them

 

Anyway, I hate to say it, but it seems you have abit of the 'short man' syndrome going on.

 

Yes, guess what. When girls reject you for it, and make it loud and clear, how unattractive they find you to be solely for your height (not just personally, but in general), is it so insane, so silly of me, to maybe feel a little insecure about it?

 

This is what I mean that no matter what I will always lose. If it was my buddy who was saying the same things as me, you would say he's "aloof, cocky, and uninterested, a trait women love", but in my case, it's "Short man's syndrome".

 

Well, this could be something..Is it possible that it's just you? Your way of thinking about women in general? The vibe you give off, the energy around you? [/Quote]

 

I always love these discussions about "vibes". All of the tall good looking guys I know, I never hear women talk about them giving off a "Bad vibe".

 

This is called ,"BLAME THE VICTIM" mentality most women in America have. Instead of just fessing up and saying, they don't find you attractive for the way you look, they will come up with these ridiculous impossible to define (on purpose) concepts like your "vibe". Somehow, the ex-convict with 200 tattoos and a very short temper who happens to be tall and good looking, has a "great vibe" in the eyes of women, but an average guy like me who is generally a decent person, has a "bad vibe".

 

My experiences with women have led to my conclusion about women, not vice a versa. Besides , most men think alike to me, especially the players all the women are throwing their panties at.

 

What you said to Taramere is quite insulting actually.. I don't think you meant it to be, but it is. Being surprised that a female could be wise. [/Quote]

 

Sorry, it's just that when I come across it it really blows me away. Kind of like seeing Haileys comet, it's about as common.

[whichwayisup]

I do know what you are talking about, and let me make this clear ,he has no sexual vibe or masculine aura to him, at all. I know guys who do and they score, but my buddy doesn't .

 

To you he doesn't, but to women, maybe he does. Obviously he has something in him that attracts women.

 

I honestly don't know what to say about the rest..I mean, if you do feel insecure from your experiences with women and your height, self confidence is the route to go and yeah, we all have insecurities, but if yours is noticeable, women can smell that a mile away... I'm just sayin'.

 

Anyway, sorry about the cliche's.

[Thaddeus]

Somehow, the ex-convict with 200 tattoos and a very short temper who happens to be tall and good looking, has a "great vibe" in the eyes of women, but an average guy like me who is generally a decent person, has a "bad vibe".

Pretty common. It's the whole "bad boy" thing that women are attracted to. It's senseless, I agree, but it's also reality.

 

People do tend to give off an aura, though. Call it a "vibe" or anything you want but fact is that if you're confident in yourself as opposed to being depressed (for instance), people-not just women, but people in general-will sense that. It might be one's posture, the way one smiles (or doesn't smile), vocal inflection or whatever. There's nothing mystical or ESP-like about it, people just pick up on these subtle cues and weave them into something they call a "vibe."

 

And sure, there are plenty of women who decide immediately upon meeting you whether you have a chance at a romantic liaison. Some women-lots, I'm afraid-will immediately discount any man that's shorter than they are. That is, they'll discount them until they discover that the guy is a multi-bazillionaire. Suddenly they find they have this "connection" and "he may be THE ONE!" Happens ALL the time.

 

Guys do this too. They may discount the slightly-overweight, not-so-attractive type but when they discover that she can suck a golfball through a garden hose suddenly she's the object of their attention.

[BOLTON33]

[

To you he doesn't, but to women, maybe he does. Obviously he has something in him that attracts women.

 

I honestly don't know what to say about the rest..I mean, if you do feel insecure from your experiences with women and your height, self confidence is the route to go and yeah, we all have insecurities, but if yours is noticeable, women can smell that a mile away... I'm just sayin'.

 

Anyway, sorry about the cliche's.

 

Yes, he has something I don't, and that's the fact that he's 6'2 and better looking than me. Back to square 1.

 

I don't believe my insecurity is that notable. If it was, then I would have no male friends or elderly ladies wouldn't be so nice and open to me. Men punish insecurity far more than women do. If you are an insecure, shy guy, but are what women define as good looking, then women will pursue you. My friend is a guy like this, other men bully him mercilessly (and yes, me, the person you call "insecure" have to constantly defend him and fight for him) but since he's tall and good looking women don't care that he isn't "confident".

 

Pretty common. It's the whole "bad boy" thing that women are attracted to. It's senseless, I agree, but it's also reality.[/Quote]

 

I wonder what kind of opinion men like Ted Bundy had about women, since people are blaming my lack of romantic success on this. I'm sure he had an amazingly high opinion of women and gave off a great vibe, particularly when he loaded their dead bodies into the back of his volkswagen beetle LOL! Was it his "CONFIDENCE" rather than his great looks, fame (or infamy), and tallness, that made his prison mailbox chock full of love letters from female groupies? And this is after being publicly convicted for being a serial killer.

 

People do tend to give off an aura, though. Call it a "vibe" or anything you want but fact is that if you're confident in yourself as opposed to being depressed (for instance), people-not just women, but people in general-will sense that. It might be one's posture, the way one smiles (or doesn't smile), vocal inflection or whatever. There's nothing mystical or ESP-like about it, people just pick up on these subtle cues and weave them into something they call a "vibe."[/Quote]

 

Well I don't give off a depressed vibe, because being down on yourself for something out of your power is not something to be depressed about. People will FOR SURE judge you on your appearance by far more than they will about your vocal inflectio or your smile. I know because even I do it to an extent, and I'm one of the least judgemental people I know.

 

Just think about it from a guy point of view. If a girl is good looking to you and might be interesting, do you really care about her posture or her smile (unless it is some kind of extreme like she is a hunchback) ? Why would you think it's any different from the point of view of women, because society tells you so?

 

It's an unfair aspect of human nature, but it happens. The problem lies with the fact that men cast a much MUCH wider and have a way more flexible idea of what is a good looking person than women do. 90% of the traits women find attractive in a man are something that you can't buy in the store or get with hard work, you are either born with it or no!! q

 

And sure, there are plenty of women who decide immediately upon meeting you whether you have a chance at a romantic liaison. Some women-lots, I'm afraid-will immediately discount any man that's shorter than they are. That is, they'll discount them until they discover that the guy is a multi-bazillionaire. Suddenly they find they have this "connection" and "he may be THE ONE!" Happens ALL the time.

 

Guys do this too. They may discount the slightly-overweight, not-so-attractive type but when they discover that she can suck a golfball through a garden hose suddenly she's the object of their attention. [/Quote]

 

So what's easier to do, be good at polishing the knob (if you're a girl ((i hope)) ) or becomming a multi-billionaire???

 

And yes, LOL @ the connection and "chemistry" women find as soon as a guy becomes rich and powerful .

[Taramere]

To you he doesn't, but to women, maybe he does. Obviously he has something in him that attracts women.

 

That's a very good point. Often women will be drawn to a particular man, and other men will be bemused because they really can't figure out what the draw is. There's just not a particular formula along the lines of A + B - X = stunningly attractive to the opposite sex. There are tall guys out there who struggle just as much as their shorter brothers.

 

I used to work with one. Nice looking guy, very tall (a bit too much so in my book - he gangled like a daddy long legs) promising career ahead of him, sociable etc....but he just could not relate to women. He'd get shy and embarrassed, and just blurt out whatever was on his mind. Some clumsy, crude comment about their breasts, or "no way are you 26....you look years older than that. Decades, in fact!" (followed up with a beetroot face and wild laughter which would inevitably cause the girl to give him a disgusted look and walk off).

 

Eventually he found a very nice, patient girlfriend who realised he was just a gangling, shy thing who didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings - and I think the relationship worked out. But before that, regardless of how tall he was it just wasn't happening for him.

 

Guys do this too. They may discount the slightly-overweight, not-so-attractive type but when they discover that she can suck a golfball through a garden hose suddenly she's the object of their attention.

 

Is that a common pub activity in your area?

 

I wonder what kind of opinion men like Ted Bundy had about women, since people are blaming my lack of romantic success on this. I'm sure he had an amazingly high opinion of women and gave off a great vibe, particularly when he loaded their dead bodies into the back of his volkswagen beetle LOL! Was it his "CONFIDENCE" rather than his great looks, fame (or infamy), and tallness, that made his prison mailbox chock full of love letters from female groupies? And this is after being publicly convicted for being a serial killer.

 

Amanda Knox, one of the accused in the Meredith Kercher trial, gets tons of fanmail from men because she's pretty and the fact that she might have been involved in the rape and murder of another woman makes her fascinating to them. It's just a dark part of human nature, I'm afraid. And remember that the vast majority of people don't send streams of love letters to accused or convicted killers.

[Trialbyfire]

No offense to men but since you're not women, I'd be surprised if you could gauge what makes a man attractive to women, especially when the green-eyed monster is involved.

 

To put it into perspective, women like Nina Ricci, Kirsten Dunst and Scarlett Johannson, in their prime, made certain men go ga-ga and while there's no jealousy or envy on my part, I just...plain...do not see the attraction. I do understand that since I'm not a man, the attraction won't be clearly evident to me.

 

Bottom line, women see something in your friend, they don't see in you. This exceeds the physical.

[Thaddeus]

Is that a common pub activity in your area?

Only on rugby nights.

[whichwayisup]

Yes, he has something I don't, and that's the fact that he's 6'2 and better looking than me. Back to square 1.

 

He isn't better looking than you. He isn't a better person than you, just different, that's all. Don't put yourself down or compare yourself to him, or anyone else. You're unique and special, and if those women who choose him over you can't see that, then it's THEIR loss. All it means is, you haven't found the right person yet.. It'll find you when you're least expecting it.

 

I don't believe my insecurity is that notable. If it was, then I would have no male friends or elderly ladies wouldn't be so nice and open to me

 

But to women it could be. Having male buddies, having elderly ladies be nice to you doesn't have anything to do with it.

[Stung]

You are taking an extremely narrow bandwidth of perception, the short experience of a single angry and very young male colored by his own belief system and preconceptions, and insisting that you have figured out the workings of the entire world and the inner workings of an entire gender (one with whom you appear to have very little actual contact). This is extremely faulty logic. Since you are already enrolled in a junior college, you should strongly consider taking a critical thinking course or two.

 

I don't know what your friend has that you don't, besides height. Maybe he's just got that pheromonal something that makes the ovaries jump. Maybe the sun actually shines out of his ass. Maybe your local culture really sucks and you need to broaden your horizons a little and get the hell out of Dodge. But I can tell you this: your little angry corner of the world is NOT the world in it's entirety, and you do yourself a disservice insisting that it is.

 

Things I have learned about you by reading every one of your posts in this thread:

 

You are rude.

You are condescending.

You are angry, insecure, and you belittle women, their intellect and their perceptions and experience.

You have no goals and are doing nothing to better yourself, just sitting around bitching about how everything is all the wimminz' fault, and whining about being a better fighter than somebody else...which makes you sound like you're about to threaten to pack up your toys and go home because the girls aren't playing doctor with you.

You're wallowing in self-pity.

You are dooming yourself to continue this cycle because you refuse to listen to anybody who doesn't tell you exactly what you want to hear.

 

In other words, your personality? Is nowhere near as good as you think it is. I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole if I were single, and I've actually looked at your picture and think that you're cute.

 

So to answer the question you pose in the title of this thread: sure, some women are pretty shallow. But still: IT'S YOU.

 

Someday I hope you learn that we're all just people, and start getting over yourself. Try counseling. And again, if your local culture is really that lame, here's an idea: move. What's keeping you where you are? It's not your awesome career, and it's definitely not your meaningful romantic relationship. You're 21. Stop crying into your beer and get up and learn something about life and make yourself a better person, one somebody with ovaries might find interesting to be around.

 

Good luck with that.

 

Signed,

 

A Six-Foot-Tall Woman Who Has Had Plenty of Five-Foot-Eight Boyfriends

 

(The difference being, they were all confident, funny, interesting, wise, and therefore sexy, instead of being whiny little bitches, which is the path you are currently on. You still have time to change your course.)

[kizik]

The OP has a nasty attitude, is rude and sarcastic and mean, and thinks he knows the world at 21 years of age. The reason you're not getting chicks, dude, is because most 21-year-old guys don't get chicks. You get your right hand. Sure, there are a handful of players, but 21 is a barren wasteland of No P*ssy.

 

But the bigger reason is that the OP is a misogynistic, class-A creep who carries such intense vitriol in his soul that he spews bad "vibes" onto everyone around, including forum members.

 

And yes, I said "vibes". Deal with it.

[BOLTON33]

He isn't better looking than you. He isn't a better person than you, just different, that's all. Don't put yourself down or compare yourself to him, or anyone else. You're unique and special, and if those women who choose him over you can't see that, then it's THEIR loss. All it means is, you haven't found the right person yet.. It'll find you when you're least expecting it.[/Quote]

 

 

Come on. Do people really think like this? That when girls don't like you it's simply their loss. That doesn't bring me any closure at all, does that make me odd?

 

You are taking an extremely narrow bandwidth of perception, the short experience of a single angry and very young male colored by his own belief system and preconceptions, and insisting that you have figured out the workings of the entire world and the inner workings of an entire gender (one with whom you appear to have very little actual contact). This is extremely faulty logic. Since you are already enrolled in a junior college, you should strongly consider taking a critical thinking course or two. [/Quote]

 

Well I can only speak about my own personal experience. I think the person experiences of most men with women are similar to mine, the only difference is that some people are too optimistic to the point of lying to themselves into thinking that there is someone special out there for them. The many millions of hopelessly single men over 30 in this country however, who don't have anything particularly wrong with them, says otherwise.

 

I don't know what your friend has that you don't, besides height. Maybe he's just got that pheromonal something that makes the ovaries jump. Maybe the sun actually shines out of his ass. Maybe your local culture really sucks and you need to broaden your horizons a little and get the hell out of Dodge. But I can tell you this: your little angry corner of the world is NOT the world in it's entirety, and you do yourself a disservice insisting that it is. [/Quote]

 

I don't know, I live in a major US city that is sometimes referred to as "the capital of the world", so it's not like it's a little corner of the world.

 

I think however, you are on to something. I think cosmopolitan people generally are colder, much more superficial and generally more egotistical than people in small towns. While women all around are not that different, women in cities like New York and Los Angeles are really evil and obsessed with money and status.

 

You are rude.

You are condescending.

You are angry, insecure, and you belittle women, their intellect and their perceptions and experience.

You have no goals and are doing nothing to better yourself, just sitting around bitching about how everything is all the wimminz' fault, and whining about being a better fighter than somebody else...which makes you sound like you're about to threaten to pack up your toys and go home because the girls aren't playing doctor with you.

You're wallowing in self-pity.

You are dooming yourself to continue this cycle because you refuse to listen to anybody who doesn't tell you exactly what you want to hear. [/Quote]

 

Ehehehehehehe.

 

In other words, your personality? Is nowhere near as good as you think it is. I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole if I were single, and I've actually looked at your picture and think that you're cute. [/Quote]

 

I think my personality is pretty great. You just have to give me a chance to get to know me.

 

 

So to answer the question you pose in the title of this thread: sure, some women are pretty shallow. But still: IT'S YOU.

[/Quote]

 

How is it guys who have 100000 times worse personalities get lucky?

 

Someday I hope you learn that we're all just people, and start getting over yourself. Try counseling. And again, if your local culture is really that lame, here's an idea: move. What's keeping you where you are? It's not your awesome career, and it's definitely not your meaningful romantic relationship. You're 21. Stop crying into your beer and get up and learn something about life and make yourself a better person, one somebody with ovaries might find interesting to be around. [/Quote]

 

What's keeping me around? My mother. I live with my mom and she has a disability so I don't want to leave her alone. Not to mention how difficult it is to resettle nowadays without some kind of connection or a lot of money. I'm waiting to finish school, make some money, then I plan to buy a farm somewhere and live a natural life.

[BOLTON33]

A Six-Foot-Tall Woman Who Has Had Plenty of Five-Foot-Eight Boyfriends

 

(The difference being, they were all confident, funny, interesting, wise, and therefore sexy, instead of being whiny little bitches, which is the path you are currently on. You still have time to change your course.) [/Quote]

 

Another thing, where do I meet women who are like you??? I am very curious because I see women who are so lax and flexible on the anonymous internet, yet, never see such a thing in real life.

 

Are you seriously going to tell me that you would take a guy with all those traits you say you like but is 5'8, over a guy who has only half of those traits but is 6'2? (if both are interested in you)

 

By the way, I don't expect women who are taller than me especially by a lot to be attracted to me (although if one who was was open to it I wouldn't mind it). I think that's reasonable. I am just asking that women who are a shorter or a lot shorter than me to give me a chance.

 

The OP has a nasty attitude, is rude and sarcastic and mean, and thinks he knows the world at 21 years of age. The reason you're not getting chicks, dude, is because most 21-year-old guys don't get chicks. You get your right hand. Sure, there are a handful of players, but 21 is a barren wasteland of No P*ssy.

 

But the bigger reason is that the OP is a misogynistic, class-A creep who carries such intense vitriol in his soul that he spews bad "vibes" onto everyone around, including forum members.

[/Quote]

 

LOL if you don't get laid at 21, then what age do you ? Do all the 21 year old women go on vacation during this period? I better inform all those tall ripped up frat boys (who,ya know, would never objectify women, or be rude to anyone) who get into the pants of everything from 16 to 40 about this.

 

If you think I'm such a creep I dare you to look at your local casanova, it's a pattern everywhere. Those are the real creeps. It's never a good hearted, honorable, straight shooting, REAL man who gets the most play, it's always the most repulsive human beings, ranging from drug fiends all the way to wiggers.

[Taramere]

By the way, I don't expect women who are taller than me especially by a lot to be attracted to me (although if one who was was open to it I wouldn't mind it). I think that's reasonable. I am just asking that women who are a shorter or a lot shorter than me to give me a chance.

 

It's a tough thing for anyone to get to grips with....but nobody has a duty to validate you by being attracted to you. And I know you'll say that you know it, but I don't think you've accepted it on the level you need to accept it in order to start being happier. Think how many great writers out there got rejection after rejection from publishers. How hellish must it be to be 100% certain that you've produced a masterpiece, but see it continually rejected - while people rush out to buy formulaic "sex 'n' shopping" pulp or mediocre detective novels?

 

Have you read Confederacy of Dunces? John Kennedy Toole became terminally depressed by rejection after rejection of his manuscript. Comedy was his thing, and perhaps he lost faith in the notion that there was anybody out there who laughed at the same things he laughed at. Later on, it was to become a cult classic....then it went mainstream.

 

It may well be that even now, it wouldn't appeal to the majority of people. That doesn't mean it isn't an outstanding book. It's just that the things that have mainstream appeal generally stick to a tried and tested formula of "what the public wants". Same thing with people. If a person adheres to the popular notion of what an attractive and sexy man/woman looks like, life is going to be easier for them. It doesn't mean that they'll be more interesting as an individual, though.

 

I dare you to look at your local casanova, it's a pattern everywhere. Those are the real creeps. It's never a good hearted, honorable, straight shooting, REAL man who gets the most play, it's always the most repulsive human beings, ranging from drug fiends all the way to wiggers.

 

Go to a club, and you'll see guys' tongues lolling out at any women who are grinding against eachother on the dance-floor, because they're tapping into the male fascination with female bisexuality. They know it gets them attention. Or women who get surgery to expand to a 36DD cup size. Does that mean that all women should get enormous implants and pretend to be bisexual (or naturally be big-boobed and genuinely bi-sexual) in order to be considered appealing? There are some men out there who would say "yes, yes it does." Likewise, there are women who would say "yes, sorry - I'm not interested in a man unless he tops 6ft and meets my criteria of what a man should be in all other respects."

 

You as you are might never garner the level of female attention that your friend gets...unless you suddenly achieve fame and/or fortune. It doesn't mean you're destined to never have a woman interested in you, but the reality is that you will probably have to try that bit harder than your friend does in terms of being funny and entertaining. And you'll probably also have to cope with more knock backs from women.

 

Focusing on building up the strength to shrug that kind of thing off is bound to serve you better, long term, than dwelling on negatives and the cruelties of nature/the mating game. So is focusing time and energy on other aspects of your self improvement that don't involve getting female attention. Remembering that there is far more to you than simply being an opposite-sex attracting machine.

 

I've got one more question to ask. When you're talking to women, do you ever find yourself referring directly or indirectly to the level of interest your 6 ft 2" friend attracts from women?

[Jersey Shortie]

Unfortunately, I have yet to find a single girl who isn't a complete moron or completely 1 dimensional in her interests, hobbies etc. So far my experience has taught me that perhaps women are just intellectually and emotionally less able than men, as a whole.

 

Yes, we are quite inferior. And yet, you still greatly desire the love, affection, companionship and respect of one of these intellectually and emotionally less able human beings that repersent a good 50% of the population.

 

Must agree with Stung. Instead of laughing on what that poster said, you should take note:

 

Things I have learned about you by reading every one of your posts in this thread:

 

You are rude.

You are condescending.

You are angry, insecure, and you belittle women, their intellect and their perceptions and experience.

You have no goals and are doing nothing to better yourself, just sitting around bitching about how everything is all the wimminz' fault, and whining about being a better fighter than somebody else...which makes you sound like you're about to threaten to pack up your toys and go home because the girls aren't playing doctor with you.

You're wallowing in self-pity.

You are dooming yourself to continue this cycle because you refuse to listen to anybody who doesn't tell you exactly what you want to hear.

[BOLTON33]

HEY, don't blame ME, it wuz society n ****.

 

Don't have time to reply to all this right now, but I will say one thing. I abide strongly by the golden rule, I do unto others as they do to me. Or some ****. I think out of all that taking apart of my personality ,the only relevant one to women is the "goals". Women who say they want men with "goals" usually are talking about guys well on their way to becomming doctors/lawyers/general high earners.

 

What women is going to want me for my goals, which is to live off my own land in a rural environment? Personally yes, I do desire the love and affection of women on some deep down level, but if it's not my destiny then so ****ing be it. There are worst things that can happen. I'd rather have my integrity and my current personality which my friends of many years tell me is so great and admirable, over being some faker who does it to get girls.

 

To be honest, even after getting over that I'm not that tall or rich, the 1% of women who still are interested after that would probably not like my personality, I'll admit it. And it's not because I'm such a bad or mean guy, it's just because I'm a little different and women hate anything that breaks away from the sports crazed retard mold society has made out for men.

[carhill]

And thank goodness for that. Envision yourself 30 years hence, leaving doors unlocked, keys in vehicles, windows open all night and not seeing a human for a week if you so choose. I smile when I think about women and their goals. Good on 'em

[Jersey Shortie]

I am confused by your post Carhill.

 

 

 

Women who say they want men with "goals" usually are talking about guys well on their way to becomming doctors/lawyers/general high earners.

 

 

INCORRECT. Women who want men with goals want a man that will work hard regardless of what is is. Farmers still get married you know? Or maybe it's that the type of down-to-earth women that would be a farmer's wife aren't good enough for you. Maybe the real issue is that you are looking at a certain type of women and bitter about them not liking you even though they repersent exactly what you don't want to be as a man?

 

 

I'd rather have my integrity and my current personality which my friends of many years tell me is so great and admirable, over being some faker who does it to get girls.

 

No one said be a faker. There is a huge different in having your integrity and having so much pride you can't let yourself be vunerable with somsone.

 

To be honest, even after getting over that I'm not that tall or rich, the 1% of women who still are interested after that would probably not like my personality, I'll admit it. And it's not because I'm such a bad or mean guy, it's just because I'm a little different and women hate anything that breaks away from the sports crazed retard mold society has made out for men.

 

Lots of short, fat and ugly men score nice women. And I am sure you have a certain ideal about what you like in women yourself.

[carhill]

I am confused by your post Carhill.

 

 

You and everyone else, so I'll help....

 

The OP wrote:

What women is going to want me for my goals, which is to live off my own land in a rural environment? Personally yes, I do desire the love and affection of women on some deep down level, but if it's not my destiny then so ****ing be it.

 

I validated that, and live it, and wrote that in my response, and that I accept now that women's goals generally are different, and good on 'em for their goals. Acceptance

[Sam Spade]

 

 

 

INCORRECT. Women who want men with goals want a man that will work hard regardless of what is is. Farmers still get married you know? Or maybe it's that the type of down-to-earth women that would be a farmer's wife aren't good enough for you. Maybe the real issue is that you are looking at a certain type of women and bitter about them not liking you even though they repersent exactly what you don't want to be as a man?

 

Haha, what's the difference??? Work hard in whatever you do == achieve success and bring home money??

 

The assumption (the entitlement?) that this is man's role in women's life is so deeply ingrained, that obviously it's taken for granted. It's not even funny.

 

But I'm still trying to do what Carhill (such a wise dude :love:) is doing -- acceptance, combined with personal boundaries. My girlfriend is wonderful, but still a typical girl, so every once in a while she would drop a bomb such as "well your job leavres you so much free time, why don't you take on some additional consulting work?". To which I only smile (acceptance) and respond (internally in my head) "Duh, that's precisely why I took this job - to have free time. If we ever get married, I'll do my part of keeping the household comfortable and secure, but god help you if you start nagging me to make more money" (boundaries).

[carhill]

LOL, it used to piss off my wife no end that I could walk out to the shop, work a few hours, and make the same income she made by commuting and busting her ass all day. Of course, she doesn't have to breathe welding fumes and get sprayed with hydraulic oil either, right?

 

To me, it's about synergy; respecting and validating each other's strengths and supporting each other and accepting each other's language of love.

 

Take it from someone who's successfully and gainfully lived alone for many years. Don't lower your boundaries at the altar of acceptance. Accept within them

[Trialbyfire]

I just don't get this NEED to be angry and blame entire groups of people for life's misfortunes, especially since the lives we're talking about within this thread, as expressed by these members, aren't so bad. If anything, they're pretty decent lives which include being employed, of decent health, etc.

 

To say, "I'm not going to change and everyone or the women I'm attracted to, MUST find me attractive, or else they're all superficial", sounds pretty silly when put that way, doesn't it?

 

You are ONE individual. Women are 50+% of the human race. What you want is that 50+% of the human race change what they're attracted to, so they'll be attracted to you, when you're unwilling to change.

 

What's wrong with this picture?

[BOLTON33]

INCORRECT. Women who want men with goals want a man that will work hard regardless of what is is. Farmers still get married you know? Or maybe it's that the type of down-to-earth women that would be a farmer's wife aren't good enough for you. Maybe the real issue is that you are looking at a certain type of women and bitter about them not liking you even though they repersent exactly what you don't want to be as a man? [/Quote]

 

What are you implying, that I'm going only after perfect 10's? That's not true at all. First of all I know right now and will tell you, no "9" or "10" will ever want to date me, period. Second, if I do manage to get a date, I know full well what kind of responsibilities it entails to keep a woman like that loyal, which is very difficult unless you have a lot of money or look even better than her.

 

Most of the girls I go after are average, maybe semi-pretty, but nothing mind blowing or breath taking. I have to admit I have to be atleast slightly sexually attracted to a girl, I don't think this makes me bad especially considering how liberal my definition of physcially attractive is (compared to women). I don't have a "Type" other than she's not completely ugly and is a good person.

 

The great irony here, is that the girls I like, the average not too ugly with great personalities, ARE ALL TAKEN and have lines of guys behind them. Really the opposite from the media strung image of molly ringwald type chicks being lonely and hurt, etc. It's the supermodels who are always lonely , because their standards are so high and nobody meets them.

 

So this puts me in a huge dilemma and makes it really hard for a guy like me to date.

 

Lots of short, fat and ugly men score nice women. And I am sure you have a certain ideal about what you like in women yourself. [/Quote]

 

Sure, but 90% of them don't. For every short ugly guy I know with a girlfriend or wife, I can name 10 without one. Fat guys can get a girlfriend if they are tall and not completely effeminate though, however if they are fat ugly and short all at once I can guarantee that they are going to most likely die a virgin (unless they get a mail order bride or something).

 

I'm not asking women to date fat ugly short guys. However, if a guy isn't ugly, can get along with you really well, and is overall a good guy, what I'm asking is maybe overlook the fact that he's NOT 6 feet tall and give him a shot.

 

Sure I have a vague ideal of what a woman makes attractive. I like dark hair, with fair skin, sure. But to be honest, if you are a blonde with olive skin, I could not care less . And if the dark haired good looking girl who was my "type" was in compettition with the blonde girl was less so of my 'type', I would simply go for the girl who was more simple, easy going, nicer, loyal etc. Women on the other hand ,would unquestionable date their "type" (tall, dark hair, etc) over a guy who is not it regardless of personality.

 

After reading this, I have to surmise that you are trying to get with some VERY immature girls. Try women. You'll have better luck. [/Quote]

 

This is really crappy, cliche advice. Where do I find "women" rather than girls??? I've met very few women under 30 in my life who are not very immature atleast on some level. Personally I count being obsessed with handbags and other trinkets to be immaturity.

 

 

I just don't get this NEED to be angry and blame entire groups of people for life's misfortunes, especially since the lives we're talking about within this thread, as expressed by these members, aren't so bad. If anything, they're pretty decent lives which include being employed, of decent health, etc.[/Quote]

 

You have a pretty pathetic definition of a decent life. Being employed in a retail hell hole almost full time because your mother's disabled, and having decent health at the age of 22 is not something I'm ecstatic about.

 

To say, "I'm not going to change and everyone or the women I'm attracted to, MUST find me attractive, or else they're all superficial", sounds pretty silly when put that way, doesn't it?[/Quote]

 

I just find it absolutely insane that not 1 single normal, average looking girl is ever interested in me, that I need to become some ed hardy T SHIRT wearing subhuman in order for a woman to like me.

 

Sorry, I could care less. I would prefer a girl who either likes my style, or doesn't care. Not one who needs a bandwagon jumper, sports crazed, car worshipping boyfriend. There are some girls who find this type of personality attractive but they didn't feel I was physically attractive enough for them. (i was cursed as these girls were very good looking). So I'm SCREWED.

 

You are ONE individual. Women are 50+% of the human race. What you want is that 50+% of the human race change what they're attracted to, so they'll be attracted to you, when you're unwilling to change.[/Quote]

 

Oh please. If I go to any other country in the world I can bet women aren't even half as picky and stupid as they are in ****holes like the USA. I'm telling you, if I go to a man's world like Bulgaria or other eastern european nations, girls have no problem wanting to get to know me at all. I mean you can argue it's because of of my US passport, but i have even seen guys who are like my, average looking guys ,not only with average looking girls (my pleading) but with beautiful women who are great wives and mothers .

 

So don't speak for 50% of the human race. Only speak for American women who are 1 dimensional , superficial, it not even that good looking to be that way.