Is it me or are women just extremely shallow?

[BOLTON33]

After reading your posts, Bolton, I can see that your attitude is the problem. From the way you write I can just imagine what any woman thinks after she's had a dose of you. No wonder you're having problems.

 

 

Well the way I act and write is just how I feel. I've got flaws like everyone else, and please, women after a dose of me? To be honest most women bore me and so I don't even know why I have this deep powerful feeling wanting one.

 

Again the dumb blame my personality thing is not my problem because there are guys out there with much worst personalities and have a lot of success. I'll tell you what, I've seen more guys with bad personalities (if that's what you call people who tell you the truth) score than I have seen guys who are uglier or shorter than me score. Seeing the complete lack of success of males in my boat (crappy job, not 6 feet tall, no car, etc) is really disheartening.

[Jaytb]

To be honest most women bore me and so I don't even know why I have this deep powerful feeling wanting one.

 

Is it any wonder your lack of success with this attitude? Would you date a girl who says men are extremely shallow, most men bore me, men are inferior to women, etc?

 

Look, we all know *some* women are shallow. Some men are shallow as well. But not all are. All you need to do is lose the sh*t attitude, find something that makes you happy (hobbies, job, whatever) and a wonderful girl should just come along someday.

 

Looking at the divorce rate, I'd say many people don't find their perfect someone. So I guess you just have to hold out for a while. It takes years and years and years in most cases. All we can really do is live life as well as we can day by day.

[BOLTON33]

Quote]Is it any wonder your lack of success with this attitude? Would you date a girl who says men are extremely shallow, most men bore me, men are inferior to women, etc? [/Quote]

 

Who knows and who cares. I have never met a woman who actually believes men are more boring than women, it's always the other way around, both genders generally agree. A group of 5 guys and 1 girl is totally different than one of 5 girls and 1 guy.

 

Look, we all know *some* women are shallow. Some men are shallow as well. But not all are. All you need to do is lose the sh*t attitude, find something that makes you happy (hobbies, job, whatever) and a wonderful girl should just come along someday. [/Quote]

 

Yeah I guess. I've yet to find that hobby or whatever to dedicate my life to like others have. I've got too much time on my hands i suppose so if i'm not out drinking and raising hell with my friends (Which we barely do anymore as both of them now have girlfriends who totally control them ), or at work, I'm at home bored thinking why i don't have a girlfriend. Personally I don't necessarily want a girl to be with, I just want to take my mind off of women and be able to live independent from them whether they like me or not. I've done this all my life with no problem, but now I am starting to find myself bored with my life and needing something else, can't explain why. Before me and my friends used to do more thrilling things, but now they are all weenies because of their girlfriends. In my moments of weakness I kind of feel like I would like female companionship, but I think this all stems from my 2 male friends having abandoned me for their girlfriends.

 

Looking at the divorce rate, I'd say many people don't find their perfect someone. So I guess you just have to hold out for a while. It takes years and years and years in most cases. All we can really do is live life as well as we can day by day. [/Quote]

 

True, I'd say people in our society and generation are pretty rotten as a whole.

[Jaytb]

Quote]Is it any wonder your lack of success with this attitude? Would you date a girl who says men are extremely shallow, most men bore me, men are inferior to women, etc?

 

Who knows and who cares. I have never met a woman who actually believes men are more boring than women, it's always the other way around, both genders generally agree. A group of 5 guys and 1 girl is totally different than one of 5 girls and 1 guy.

 

Where's the rest of your answer? would you date a girl who said men are extremely shallow and men are inferior to women? And doesn't matter if you think it's fact or not, these are opinions, and they're admittedly rotten ones.

 

Yeah I guess. I've yet to find that hobby or whatever to dedicate my life to like others have. I've got too much time on my hands i suppose so if i'm not out drinking and raising hell with my friends (Which we barely do anymore as both of them now have girlfriends who totally control them ), or at work, I'm at home bored thinking why i don't have a girlfriend. Personally I don't necessarily want a girl to be with, I just want to take my mind off of women and be able to live independent from them whether they like me or not. I've done this all my life with no problem, but now I am starting to find myself bored with my life and needing something else, can't explain why. Before me and my friends used to do more thrilling things, but now they are all weenies because of their girlfriends. In my moments of weakness I kind of feel like I would like female companionship, but I think this all stems from my 2 male friends having abandoned me for their girlfriends.

I can understand how you feel with the boredom, I'm staying around the house cleaning things and painting and crap, and it sucks. I don't even drink at all and I'm not social. My girlfriend is away and we're long distance for now. But you just gotta find something good to do.

 

True, I'd say people in our society and generation are pretty rotten as a whole.

Yeah. I mean it's easy to let things like that get you down, but we should all try to make our lives as good as they can be.

[Sam Spade]

And, though you may think they're all dumb and shallow, trust me - they can tell you think they're boring. Now what makes you think any woman would want to get with a guy who is bored by her?

 

I don't necessarily symphatise with the OP, but he's onto something here: after 15+ years of relationships and dating Itoo have concluded that most girls are simply not funny (or even not goofy enough to be borderline funny) . This can be even empirically verified (just look up the number of female vs. male comediants ).

Perhaps that's why "sense of humor" is so high on most girl's "requirements lists" ?

So, a more accuare interpretation would be not that guys think that girls are boring, but merely that they don't expect to get much entertainment out of interacting with them .

[Dexter Morgan]

It's led me to believe that women, contrary to popular myth, are much more shallow then men.

 

I think there is some of truth to that. I think men and women are probably equally as shallow.

 

But it seems that women tend to have this double standard where they think there is nothing wrong with wanting a "hot" guy, but if a man wants a "hot" woman....then he is shallow, where they don't see themselves as shallow.

 

I think attraction is important on both sides. But seems only one side is suppose to be able to use that as criteria without getting criticized.

[JohnP82]

Did anyone else see Dating in the Dark. Essentially people go on dates in the dark and then after a few dates they are revealed to each other and at that point each side can decide if they want to continue dating.

 

In one instance I would say that two equally attractive people (male and female) had what seemed to be great chemistry, however once they were revealed to each other the girl decided against continuing to date him based on his looks. Yet in another instance the two people had good chemistry but were not in my opinion equally attractive. The guy was very good looking and the girl was more average. Yet the guy decided to give her a chance after some thought because she took a chance in getting to know him.

 

I'm not saying that one side is more shallow than the other, but it was interesting to see.

[Sam Spade]

Did anyone else see Dating in the Dark. Essentially people go on dates in the dark and then after a few dates they are revealed to each other and at that point each side can decide if they want to continue dating.

 

In one instance I would say that two equally attractive people (male and female) had what seemed to be great chemistry, however once they were revealed to each other the girl decided against continuing to date him based on his looks. Yet in another instance the two people had good chemistry but were not in my opinion equally attractive. The guy was very good looking and the girl was more average. Yet the guy decided to give her a chance after some thought because she took a chance in getting to know him.

 

I'm not saying that one side is more shallow than the other, but it was interesting to see.

 

This maps my experiences in dating: I've been rejected by way more women within my league ( in terms of attractiveness, worldliness, education, professional prospects etc.), than average girls. (And yes, just for the record, I have realistic enough image of myself ).

 

My current girlfriend is pretty, but overall, by most common standards, i'm more attractive than her (true story ), and certainly with more advanced career prospects than her. I am attracted to her (duh ), but she didn't win me with her looks, or 'potential', but with her attitude and character - i.e. just by being a very pleasant companion. And, she's attracted to me because, well... any girl with a functioning brain cell would be:D:love:. But, girls that are my equal in each and every respect often do bypass me.

 

My interpretation is that girls consider themselves failures if they don't marry "up". I dare anybody to say that this is not screwed up .

[Thaddeus]

My interpretation is that girls consider themselves failures if they don't marry "up". I dare anybody to say that this is not screwed up .

Generally, women do date "up" and marry "up." There are even peer-reviewed psychological studies on it. Women with MBAs marry up while men with MBAS marry down

[Els]

Generally, women do date "up" and marry "up." There are even peer-reviewed psychological studies on it. Women with MBAs marry up while men with MBAS marry down

 

That's only one aspect of it. Education/career-wise, yes, I believe many women would like their men to be better than them.

 

However, I'm pretty darned sure that men tend to date women who are more attractive than them, and vice versa. I'm afraid I haven't had the time to search for a peer-reviewed paper though, only my own experience and statistical observation.

[Sam Spade]

That's only one aspect of it. Education/career-wise, yes, I believe many women would like their men to be better than them.

 

However, I'm pretty darned sure that men tend to date women who are more attractive than them, and vice versa. I'm afraid I haven't had the time to search for a peer-reviewed paper though, only my own experience and statistical observation.

 

For dating - maybe, but for marriage - hell no . The ideal girl to marry is pretty (duh) but not a knockout (sic). I think that it's a big mistake to marry a girl that is too hot, for a long list of obvious reasons .

[pickles4me]

Generally, women do date "up" and marry "up."

 

 

URRRRR! not correct.

 

Everything from my age group 18-26 ive seen/experienced is that women hook-up up, or said more accurately, men are willing to hook up down and settle, whereas when looking for an actual girlfriend/wife, they usually pull rank.

[BOLTON33]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees that most women don't want to date the guys in their league, seems many are supporting this theory I see with my own two eyes every day. For a man to be amazing in our society, he has to be 6'3, look like pierce brosnan. with washboard abs a great sense of humor a and millions upon millions of dollars. For a woman to be considered amazing she just needs to not be fat, be a little pretty and have a bearable personality. Definitions of beauty are really one sided.

 

What should I do as a guy who is hovering around average, or maybe very slightly above it? I was thinking maybe talking to some of the girls I'm not attracted to nor probably ever will, but I think I would feel bad using these girls for companionship when I am not actually attracted to them or want to be with them for long. It's a recipe for disaster and despite all the trouble women give me I don't want to hurt somebody's feelings for myself.

 

I find women who are average or slightly above average don't want me ,but the really unattractive girls will once in a while show me a little interest. Should I bite back, or what should I do? Anyone have experience with this LOL

[sally4sara]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees that most women don't want to date the guys in their league

 

Why? What does it change for you?

 

What should I do as a guy who is hovering around average, or maybe very slightly above it? I was thinking maybe talking to some of the girls I'm not attracted to nor probably ever will, but I think I would feel bad using these girls for companionship when I am not actually attracted to them or want to be with them for long. It's a recipe for disaster and despite all the trouble women give me I don't want to hurt somebody's feelings for myself.

 

Isn't this what you are complaining women don't do for you? - Date you despite finding no appeal within you? Maybe all these women just don't want to feel bad for using YOU for companionship when they find no real attraction for you nor will they want you around for long?

 

[BOLTON33]

Why? What does it change for you?[/Quote]

 

It means it's not my "negativity" or my limited world view people accuse me of, its the truth that many others see as well.

 

 

Isn't this what you are complaining women don't do for you? - Date you despite finding no appeal within you? Maybe all these women just don't want to feel bad for using YOU for companionship when they find no real attraction for you nor will they want you around for long?

 

 

I really wouldn't care less as long as I got laid

 

Seriously, I cannot find myself attracted to women who are very overweight.

 

So I ask you, why would a woman who is working class, average looking , not fat, and 5'0, not find a guy who is the same class, the same looks, not fat, but 8 inches taller attractive with a relatively compatible personality attractive? It's really insulting if they don't, this is what I accuse women of.

[whichwayisup]

why would a woman who is working class, average looking , not fat, and 5'0, not find a guy who is the same class, the same looks, not fat, but 8 inches taller attractive with a relatively compatible personality attractive? It's really insulting if they don't, this is what I accuse women of.

 

Maybe there's just no chemistry.

 

Asking this is crazy. People are attracted to certain things inside the person. I mean if there's a line up of 10 women, and you got to speak to ALL of them, would you fall for all of them? NO ofcourse not, even if two were quite alike looks wise etc..

 

It's you. Sorry man, don't want to hurt your feelings but some vibe you're giving off IS being noticed by women in general.

[sally4sara]

I really wouldn't care less as long as I got laid

 

Seriously, I cannot find myself attracted to women who are very overweight.

 

So I ask you, why would a woman who is working class, average looking , not fat, and 5'0, not find a guy who is the same class, the same looks, not fat, but 8 inches taller attractive with a relatively compatible personality attractive? It's really insulting if they don't, this is what I accuse women of.

 

Are you really expecting women to try harder to be tall?

 

Really Pete, I cannot answer your question because none of what you say plays out in my day to day. As far as I'm concerned, when I read your posts I'm reading fiction. I don't wake up and wonder things like this. I don't get in a twist about my height, weight, appearance and whatnot compared to that of everyone around me. If I deal with a guy who is acting douchy, I don't think

 

"SEE!!!! Men are the SUX!"

 

I just think HE is a douche.

 

When I meet a friendly woman I don't launch into a song about how better women are than men as though I am the female Professor Higgins. I just don't see how this attitude you're experiencing is going to serve you well in life. I think you are the last living proof of natural selection. At this point, I don't know what anyone can say to you except maybe

 

You're right. You ARE ugly and women don't like you because of it.

 

Now what?

[BOLTON33]

Maybe there's just no chemistry. [/Quote]

 

I really hate that word Same with the word "Type" when used by women. It's a nice way women say you don't have X features I like in a man, even if she DOESNT have them.

 

Asking this is crazy. People are attracted to certain things inside the person. I mean if there's a line up of 10 women, and you got to speak to ALL of them, would you fall for all of them? NO ofcourse not, even if two were quite alike looks wise etc.. [/Quote]

 

I would fall for the one who was most like me to be honest. I think this shows the difference between man and woman. I have no inferiority complex about how I look or who I am or what class i belong to, but women universally do. Their low self-esteem causes them to latch on to crappy men who in their view are better than them.

 

Are you really expecting women to try harder to be tall? [/Quote]

 

No, I am saying that for the 4'11 girls who demand 6'3 guys, which is very very common.

 

Really Pete, I cannot answer your question because none of what you say plays out in my day to day. As far as I'm concerned, when I read your posts I'm reading fiction. I don't wake up and wonder things like this. I don't get in a twist about my height, weight, appearance and whatnot compared to that of everyone around me. If I deal with a guy who is acting douchy, I don't think[/Quote]

 

Of course you don't wonder about things like this, you are a woman and will always have male companionship as long as you look relatively normal.

 

 

"SEE!!!! Men are the SUX!"

 

I just think HE is a douche.

 

When I meet a friendly woman I don't launch into a song about how better women are than men as though I am the female Professor Higgins. I just don't see how this attitude you're experiencing is going to serve you well in life. I think you are the last living proof of natural selection. At this point, I don't know what anyone can say to you except maybe

 

You're right. You ARE ugly and women don't like you because of it. [/Quote]

 

All I want is for all women to admit the truth we men all know deep down inside but hope is not true. If you women openly admit it, then maybe I can unite all my brothers and we can take back our society from the matriarchs.

 

It's always pathetic when a guy who will never get a girlfriend because of his looks tries to say I'm wrong and bitter, when all he has a long line of female "friends". I want those guys to join me in the misogynist revolution!

 

Now what? [/Quote]

[Sam Spade]

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124477121226408795.html#mod

 

Permisive parenting surely screws boys too, but explicitly reinforcing the 'princess' delusion takes the disaster all the way, I bet. The expectasions and demands the typical college girls seem to have today really seem insane to me.

[Jaytb]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees that most women don't want to date the guys in their league, seems many are supporting this theory I see with my own two eyes every day. For a man to be amazing in our society, he has to be 6'3, look like pierce brosnan. with washboard abs a great sense of humor a and millions upon millions of dollars. For a woman to be considered amazing she just needs to not be fat, be a little pretty and have a bearable personality. Definitions of beauty are really one sided.

 

Well if what you were saying was correct, I think no one would be in any relationships. Even Pierce Brosnan isn't 6'3"! But I don't think it's that one sided, I think most men do have plenty of restrictions on what they consider as beautiful. That said, men have it much harder than women in achieving beauty. Women have make up, plastic surgery, and to have a hot body, all they have to do is not be fat. Beauty in men is having huge muscles, being tall, and having "manly" facial features. That's the real discrepancy in my opinion. These things you can only be born with, unless you have growth hormone (hugely expensive and not too effective afterall) or steroids (which can easily kill you).

But hey, I don't let this sort of thing get me down. I have a girlfriend, and she's wonderful to me. As they say, all it takes is one good one.

[BOLTON33]

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124477121226408795.html#mod

 

Permisive parenting surely screws boys too, but explicitly reinforcing the 'princess' delusion takes the disaster all the way, I bet. The expectasions and demands the typical college girls seem to have today really seem insane to me.

 

Hey you evil sexist bigot, they're just CONFIDENT women who ACCEPT themselves Hey if you want a girl who isn't 1 dimensional and down to earth, why don't you convert to islam you crazy oppressive patriarch.

[whichwayisup]

I have no inferiority complex about how I look or who I am or what class i belong to

 

You do, and it's about your height. It's the same thing...Or it is when you're around your friend who's taller than you and gets all the girls.

 

Anyway, no matter what anyone says here, you're not willing to even consider their opinion. You have your mindset on what you think your problem is, what women's problems are with you, so why bother posting? MOST have said the same thing over and over and you refuse to see it.

[BOLTON33]

Well if what you were saying was correct, I think no one would be in any relationships. Even Pierce Brosnan isn't 6'3"! But I don't think it's that one sided, I think most men do have plenty of restrictions on what they consider as beautiful. That said, men have it much harder than women in achieving beauty. Women have make up, plastic surgery, and to have a hot body, all they have to do is not be fat. Beauty in men is having huge muscles, being tall, and having "manly" facial features. That's the real discrepancy in my opinion. These things you can only be born with, unless you have growth hormone (hugely expensive and not too effective afterall) or steroids (which can easily kill you).

But hey, I don't let this sort of thing get me down. I have a girlfriend, and she's wonderful to me. As they say, all it takes is one good one.

 

 

So true, I agree with you Jay. Women can be considered beautiful just by watching what they eat and putting on some makeup, but male attractiveness is something you're either born with or not.

 

Women are particularly evil in how they fool men into discriminating them. "Be yourself" the woman's choir shouts when you ask them how to get a girlfriend. How come the advice "be yourself" doesn't apply to women? I bet if it was acceptable in society for me to wear high heels and I become 6 feet tall I would have all the women lining out my door begging for my semen, but I can't because it's considered unmanly. But if a woman wears high heels or a pushup bra, it doesn't even matter.

 

Lucky you found a girlfriend. The few women I've had mutual attraction with have had boyfriends before me, the laxness of these women and theire beauty standards means they get snatched up really fast.

[sally4sara]

I really hate that word Same with the word "Type" when used by women. It's a nice way women say you don't have X features I like in a man, even if she DOESNT have them.

 

 

 

I would fall for the one who was most like me to be honest. I think this shows the difference between man and woman. I have no inferiority complex about how I look or who I am or what class i belong to, but women universally do. Their low self-esteem causes them to latch on to crappy men who in their view are better than them.

 

 

 

No, I am saying that for the 4'11 girls who demand 6'3 guys, which is very very common.

 

 

 

Of course you don't wonder about things like this, you are a woman and will always have male companionship as long as you look relatively normal.

 

 

 

 

All I want is for all women to admit the truth we men all know deep down inside but hope is not true. If you women openly admit it, then maybe I can unite all my brothers and we can take back our society from the matriarchs.

 

It's always pathetic when a guy who will never get a girlfriend because of his looks tries to say I'm wrong and bitter, when all he has a long line of female "friends". I want those guys to join me in the misogynist revolution!

 

Now what?

 

You want us to admit to your OPINION because if it were true, it would mean maybe you're not so bad after all. But you might very well be that bad; you know that - you suspect it anyway or you wouldn't be glad if others felt the same turmoil you feel. Misery loves company and all that....

 

I've dated guys who were really cute and guys who were meh; just okay in the looks department. I can't even see what you look like and honey, they ALL trump you for your warped attitude and lack of light heartedness. So I have nothing to openly admit to you Pete.

 

Fortunately, they and guys like them of many differing bodies and faces have better ways to spend their time than joining you in a circle jerk

OOOPS!

I mean joining your band of brothers united against whatever.

[tanbark813]

What should I do as a guy who is hovering around average, or maybe very slightly above it?

 

For 11 pages you've only paid attention to what you want to hear. Real advice would go in one ear (or eye, as it were) and out the other, as some already has.