Should I get back with my ex of four years?

[molly5252]

I am twenty three years old and my ex-boyfriend is twenty seven we had been together for four years and after the first year we moved in together and lived together for three years.

 

This summer I came home form work one night and he told me that he wanted to break up and end our relationship because he wanted to move out west and he felt that our relationship was not working out for him.

 

The month following this was terrible as far as spliting up our posseions and things we accumulated together over the years. We also had mutule friends and they all took his side as he probaly told them all this terrible stuff about me. None of them felt comfortable remaining firends with me after our break up which was very hard.

 

He ended up having to move in with his parents because he had no savings and no vehicle.

 

After all the stuff was split up, we still continued to talk and see each other but I have recently found out that he has been keeping this a secert to the friends and his family.

 

He tells me that he now knows for sure that he wants to be with me and that he plans on getting his own apartment in the town that I live in.

 

I want him to come back and move in because I think it would be hard to go backwards in our relationship and I think that after all the time we have been together he should know weather or not he wants to be with me for the rest of his life.

 

So this is a big issue because he has not told anyone that he is still seeing me. I feel that he should not have a problem with this if he loves me.

 

I can't make a decision about what to do with a realationship with him. It is very hard to be away form him because we were together for so long. So I am looking for some advice.

[sexy]

Hi you !!

 

Well it sounds terrible being in love or to love someone whom doesnt seem to be really onest with you in many ways .

 

I think you should sit down and talk to him and ask him why are you keeping us being together a secret, why dont you want to tell anyone about us being togther.

 

Then you'll find out the truth and if he doesnt want to say or talk about it then you know it wont work out again even if you love him so much, I know it hurts sometimes but sometimes its for the best.

 

If he really loves you he wouldnt keep it a secret for one and he wouldnt have left you in the first place with such a lame excuse of its not working out anymore.

 

Take my advice and talk to him about it, believe me you'll see whether he loves you really or not. Let him make up his mind cause i really think he doent really know what he wants from you. He could just be playing with your feelings. Thats what my ex did after a year and two monts of being togther.

 

Good luck and write soon again and tell me what happened!

[ks7997]

Ok, I dated a guy for close to 5 1/2 years. We do still see each other and talk and all that good stuff. We have also been broken up for close to 2 years or more. I am also a little secret. Not so much from his friends, but his family has NO idea; and let me tell you from my experience, it's been 2 years, and from what I see, it will be from now on. I know he cares about me, but he cares more about what others think. I will never be out in the open again. Having him as an acquaintance is fine, but that is not relationship material by any means. Do you really want to be his "secret friend"?

[BraveGirl]

That is a sure way to make you feel really insecure. When you break up it is very easy to become paranoid about what 'his' lot of people, whether friends or family, think of you. I hate the feeling that they may think badly about me.

 

My bf (now ex) saw me without telling people for the last 4 months, after we had broken up once. I could gage how serious he was by how much of a secret it was. If he told people, he was obviously thinking seriously about me - if he didn't I knew he was having doubts again. As I say that I think how unthoughtful of him it was.

It all blew up in the end when his sister who lives 2 mins from me realised he was at my place and sabotaged it. He should have been honest with her, but in the end both she and I were hurt.

 

I began to see that he was so weak in not dealing with this properly. Ask him to be honest, it's only fair to you.