Fictional books or movies about emotional abuse?

[taknightta]

I have a friend who won't seem to read any serious self-help books, even though she (at some level) knows she's in a relationship with an emotionally abusive man.

 

She's an avid reader of novels, and loves movies.

 

So I was wondering if anyone can suggest any books or movies that cover this theme. Not the "psychopathic husband goes crazy and attacks with a chainsaw" kind of thing - but something about emotional abuse. Something that shows how insidious it is, how it destroys self-esteem.

 

If she could identify with a character who has gotten drawn into a relationship with a very manipulative and controlling person, and see how it affects the character, and how she eventually gets help, and even ends up in a healthy loving relationship, I think maybe she might start to apply some of this to her life.

 

I figure somebody like Jodi Picoult or something that was in Oprah's book club must have touched on this subject.

 

Any ideas?

[laRubiaBonita]

an awesome, totally raw book- "wasted" by Marya Hornbache, not necessarily about abusive controlling relationships... yet, it is.

 

it is just a good read, IMO.

[shadowplay]

I have a friend who won't seem to read any serious self-help books, even though she (at some level) knows she's in a relationship with an emotionally abusive man.

 

She's an avid reader of novels, and loves movies.

 

So I was wondering if anyone can suggest any books or movies that cover this theme. Not the "psychopathic husband goes crazy and attacks with a chainsaw" kind of thing - but something about emotional abuse. Something that shows how insidious it is, how it destroys self-esteem.

 

If she could identify with a character who has gotten drawn into a relationship with a very manipulative and controlling person, and see how it affects the character, and how she eventually gets help, and even ends up in a healthy loving relationship, I think maybe she might start to apply some of this to her life.

 

I figure somebody like Jodi Picoult or something that was in Oprah's book club must have touched on this subject.

 

Any ideas?

 

Probably the best depiction of emotional abuse I've ever read and a masterpiece of literature: Of Human Bondage by Somerset Maugham. There's a movie version, but it's not as good.

Movies:

In the Company of Men -- Two sadistic men emotionally abuse a deaf woman they work with.

Ordinary People-- Young man has emotionally withdrawn/abusive mother

[laRubiaBonita]

ooohhh... i love "In The Company of Men"!! i got it on VHS!

[taknightta]

How about anything that deals directly with a woman being emotionally abused by a controlling, manipulative husband or boyfriend? Something that she could relate to directly?

[shadowplay]

How about anything that deals directly with a woman being emotionally abused by a controlling, manipulative husband or boyfriend? Something that she could relate to directly?

 

Unfortunately can't think of anything. Maybe it's too obvious, if you know what I mean. That sounds more like Lifetime for Women terrain.

[DMoon]

Books--Rose Madder by Stephen King, Dolores Claiborne by Stephen King. Some of these other books and movies may not be male characters but they suggests abuse in some form such as Cousin Bette by Balzac deals with emotional manipulation or emotional vampires. Excellent. The Soames Forsythe character in the Forsythe Sara by John Galsworthy. Beloved and The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison, Rebecca by DuMaurier, The Color Purple, Cat's Eye, Fingersmith.

 

Anything Southern Gothic such as Tennessee Williams like the Glass Menagerie William Faulkner, and Flannery O'Connor with seething emotions, abuse and tragedy.

 

Wuthering Heights and the beginning of Jane Eyre regarding neglect and emotional and physical abuse. Greek tragedy such as Electra, Antigone. There are many options with Joyce Carol Oates.

 

Movies--Mildred Pierce (the daughter is abusive), The Passion of Anna (Ingmar Bergman in general), Sleeping with the Enemy, Chinatown, Notorious (psychological), Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, Whose Afraid of Virginia Wolf, The Burning Bed, What's Love Got to Do With it, The Magdeline Sisters...

[sugarmomma]

How about anything that deals directly with a woman being emotionally abused by a controlling, manipulative husband or boyfriend? Something that she could relate to directly?

 

She could just watch the Lifetime Movie Channel. They are full of these situations. She doesn't seem to want help so why should you try so hard? Maybe she is content with her setup?

[EarthGirl]

Carrie and Big on Sex and the City. It is more subtle abuse, and some would consider it just run of the mill turmoil over a relationship (in fact in our American society we excuse these things quite easily with sayings like "boys will be boys"), but the way he kept her hanging for soooo many episodes, for YEARS, and the kind of manipulation he employed to keep her hanging on and feeling low about herself and so lost, even though she was a very beautiful and smart and hip New York woman with a great job...I think would constitute at least mild emotional abuse. Though certainly strong heartache for Carrie (I know I know it's fiction..but not really, how many of us have been through it?..)

 

But this to me is my favorite because it is so true to life...even in the fact that their relationship spanned so many episodes so if you watched them in order it would span a few years..just like a real "once in a lifetime" relationship might. The thing was Big was not a bad guy, he was not a murderer or pervert or even had bad manners. He was in fact a really sweet very goodhearted guy who had love issues and felt compelled toward manipulation and of course he was commitment phobic. Ultimately he was so commitment phobic that he had to keep Carrie on the outskirts of his life as much as he could, but he did indeed love her as much as she loved him, so at the same time, he could not ever let her go completely. Which meant ultimately that he would not allow her to move on (I know she could have made it happen herself, but as many of us know, that is a lot easier said than done), yet he would not truly open his heart to her, leaving her lonely and broken hearted. He of course didn't really mean this to happen, he cared about her, unfortunately that was just the end result.

 

I think it was very true to life and that is why so many people responded to it. and yes, I think the majority of the manipulative Bigs are men, and the marjority of willing and ready to love honestly Carries are women, but that is definitely definitely not 100% either way, not even close. And anyway, even a victim of abuse can bite back sometimes too hard, even when they go beyond defending themselves and can wrong the other person in the relationship and make mistakes and they do. But I think it was so important because it clearly illustrated that true love can exist even in imperfect relationships (goes against the Oprah catch phrase "love doesn't hurt", which is a bunch of bullsh*t)..And that good but imperfect people can cause harm to others, even those that they genuinely love...as Carrie and Big were very attractive fancy city people, and in fact very nice people, but they each had their vices and flaws, etc.

[freestyle]

The movie,"Gaslight" sums it up perfectly. "Svengali" is another one about a man with a frightening ability to control others.

[quankanne]

any of the Tyler Perry movies or plays ... "Madea's Family Reunion" and "Why did I get married" (I think this is the title!) are two excellent resources that deal with abuse within relationships and strong women overcoming that abuse. Jill Scott is in the latter movie, and does an EXCELLENT job as a heavy-set woman who finds her own and realizes she's got a lot to offer the right man.