Am I being mercenary?

[tom]

OK for six years my partner was in love with me to the point of obsession, I couldn't go anywhere without him without 20 questions afterwards and some of my friendships went by the way due to his jealousy and suspicion. He was also a very controlling person always taking charge of things, finances etc which I admit I allowed to happen. For the first two years I tried to break from him but he always begged me for another chance, crying saying how much he loved me and I always caved in because I felt so guilty and deep down I felt something for him still, despite his insecurities he is a kind man who tries to do the right thing. We lived together and over the years things got better, he was instrumental in helping me and the rest of my family cope with the death of both my brother and my Mum very close together and I honestly don't know how I would've managed without him. He lost a lot of the insecurity and slowly we both established interests outside of the relationship. I moved to a new house he came with me and helped out financially, everything was fine and then out of the blue last week he said his feelings have changed and he wants to stop seeing me. I was shocked there'd been no indication that he was unhappy, we've always had a volatile relationship but that was par for the course from day 1, in fact it was less so as time went on, he is adamant there's no one else but I'm not 100% convinced and perversly I think I'd cope better with that as there would be a reason and something to focus on. I am confused, hurt and unsure but there is a further problem.

 

I can't manage financially if he goes and it's going to take time for me to sell up and get a smaller place so I asked him to stay here for a while, he seems all for it and is under the impression that I'm happy to stay as friends and maybe in time I will be but my real reason is I need help to manage the bills. I know this sounds mercenary but for six years I went along with whatever he wanted, putting my wants and needs second in too many ways to list, and him knowing that too, well now he wants out but I've decided I'm going to do what suits me now so when I am sorted then he can go, although he seems to think he's set for life with this arrangement so he might be a bit resenteful when I eventually move into a new place and he thinks he's coming along too and I tell him he has to make other arrangements but at the moment I can't be bothered to think about his feelings, they were paramount for six years now I'm thinking about myself. By the time I move maybe I'll be so used to the arrangement anyway that he can stay but it's all going to be from my point of veiw now not his. I don't hate him BTW.

Am I being a little mercenary?

[HokeyReligions]

sounds to me like you are doing the right thing - you have to put your needs first. He sure didn't. I wouldn't bring him along to a new place either -- that will just keep enabling him to use you.