randomthought Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 So, firstly let me say I am 22 and married, I'm in one of those marriages with No love, no affection. Its pretty sad. Anyways, my best friend and I have been close for about 6 years, about 4 years ago we were pretty drunk and made out, after that she freaked out and said never to talk about it again and got weird around me for a couple days. I personally didn't see the problem but she did. Now for the past 4 years it happens every once in awhile, always with the same result of freaking out after but she still wants more, over the past couples times it got pretty intimate, and i hate to think that she doesn't feel the same way that i feel for her. She always says how she wishes it could be different so we could be together, and she wishes I was a guy, and all this stuff. I have never been so attracted to a girl in my life, I don't want to say im a Lesbian because I honestly don't think I am, I think I just fell in love with her and she happens to be a girl too. Anyways, she has a boyfriend, and it makes me so jealous its sick.. shes my best friend and I want to be there for her, but it just pisses me off that he gets what I can't have. I know I love her, I have never felt this way about anyone else, I just don't know what to do, I look forward to the nights drunk so we can just make out and cuddle.. I just have this urge to be with her everyday thats all I want.. I just don't know what to do I know I will never be with her, I just want to not be so jealous so I can go out with her boyfriend and her and not feel sick when they kiss in front of me.. What is wrong with me. Link to post Share on other sites
sammyhalliwel Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 get a professional help consult a psychiatrist Link to post Share on other sites
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