UndertheSun Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Has anyone made love to their MM and H on same day, and if so, did you feel bad about it in any way? If you know your MM wants to make love on a particular day, and your H will too, do you stop any partner? I never felt good about making love to 2 people on the same day. I was wondering if anyone felt the same and if so, did you tell your MM the truth about your sexual relationship with your H? Link to post Share on other sites
Confused4Now Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Has anyone made love to their MM and H on same day, and if so, did you feel bad about it in any way? If you know your MM wants to make love on a particular day, and your H will too, do you stop any partner? I never felt good about making love to 2 people on the same day. I was wondering if anyone felt the same and if so, did you tell your MM the truth about your sexual relationship with your H? Nope....never did it and I had always asked my MW if she had been with H like the night before to let me know. Cause I didn't want sloppy seconds....no thanks. The good thing for me was towards the end of my marriage... the sex part was very infrequent like once or twice a month. So the odds of hitting the same day for me was uncommon. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Unless you just dont feel like having sex twice...what can the difference possibly be?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author UndertheSun Posted July 16, 2009 Author Share Posted July 16, 2009 Okay, so call it sex if you want. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 I never felt good about making love to 2 people on the same day. Do you mean you felt as though having sex with them both on the same day...was somehow...wrong?? Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 What I don't understand is how one could call it "love" in both instances. Completely agree. If you're already seeing someone else, why are you still with your H? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Once you have crossed the line and start an affair...if you have justified that and become comfortable enough with it to keep both the spouse and the affair partner... Why feel bad about the details? Its all about you after all. What you want. If you dont want to bang them both the same day, thats understandable. But dont justify it by thinking you are respecting either one of them with your decision. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 I would say that if neither of your partners mind then there is no reason to feel bad. If either minds, then maybe find a schedule that you can all three (four?) be comfortable with. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 You know what. If I really wanted 2 guys, I would just invite them both at the same time. In fact, I have. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UndertheSun Posted July 16, 2009 Author Share Posted July 16, 2009 My question has nothing to do with respecting THEM.Obviously, there's no respect being shown having an affair. The question is about personal feelings and has anyone ever told the MM 'not today' bc I'm gonna have sex with my spouse. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Well, the nice thing about an affair is that the partner is optional. So you dont have to explain anything. As to not having sex, just say No. No guy wants to hear "No, because I plan on doing someone else today." Use a white lie just to not hurt his feelings. I mean, he already knows you have sex with someone else, why rub his nose in it? For what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author UndertheSun Posted July 16, 2009 Author Share Posted July 16, 2009 Well, the nice thing about an affair is that the partner is optional. So you dont have to explain anything. As to not having sex, just say No. No guy wants to hear "No, because I plan on doing someone else today." Use a white lie just to not hurt his feelings. I mean, he already knows you have sex with someone else, why rub his nose in it? For what? Okay, thanks. That's the type of answer I was looking for. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Has anyone made love to their MM and H on same day, and if so, did you feel bad about it in any way? If you know your MM wants to make love on a particular day, and your H will too, do you stop any partner? I never felt good about making love to 2 people on the same day. I was wondering if anyone felt the same and if so, did you tell your MM the truth about your sexual relationship with your H? Nope.. never cheated on my partners.. but I had many MMs in one day.. (3 was the most in one day) so to answer your questions.. eventhough they were not partners.. I didn't stop anyone from seeing me... I would just take a good shower.. (or bath).. worst part is to make sure they don't meet at the door... (and even then.. I had my answer 'ready').. Link to post Share on other sites
spiraling downward Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 there's no respect being shown having an affair. Well, I guess I would disagree... going into the affair... yes, you know you are sharing your AP... but since MW and I are now exclusive, there is plenty of respect between the two of us. I thought it was kind of wierd being with now ex-wife and my MW woman on consecutive days though... I thought it was really wierd when my ex-wife banged her BF on a Sunday, was with me on the following Tuesday and then back with him the next day (of course I didn't know that until way after the fact.) FORTUNATELY, I only kept up the double life for about 3 weeks right before I left my ex. I didn't like it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UndertheSun Posted July 16, 2009 Author Share Posted July 16, 2009 Spiralingdownward,that's what I'm talking about. That 'not liking it' feeling. I've made love to my MM and H on consecutive days and I never liked it so I always try to avoid making love to my MM. Link to post Share on other sites
spiraling downward Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Spiralingdownward,that's what I'm talking about. That 'not liking it' feeling. I've made love to my MM and H on consecutive days and I never liked it so I always try to avoid making love to my MM. The thing is... I never really like having sex with my ex... she was attractive enough, but we just never were really compatible. So sex with her was kind of like work for me. When I knew I was going to be with MW... I would try to avoid my ex at least the day before, the day I was with MW AND the day after. The funny thing is... my ex was way more into having sex than I was... I could have it any day I wanted to. Maybe that's why I didn't like it. Link to post Share on other sites
stuckinoz Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 I would just not do it with my husband if I knew I was going to see my MM. Didn't even think twice about it - things were so horrible at home - Yet my H still wanted sex all the time. Anyway, IF it did happen that way - Nah I didn't feel bad about it. And yes, SEX...instead of making love is probably a better term. Even if at the time you thought you were in love with both....I DID! Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Spiralingdownward,that's what I'm talking about. That 'not liking it' feeling. I've made love to my MM and H on consecutive days and I never liked it so I always try to avoid making love to my MM. I would feel really gross doing that, and feel like scum putting someone off. Luckily, I never had to deal with that kind of thing. Clearly it's a lose, lose situation. Link to post Share on other sites
delirious Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 I did the same week and it made me cry. So i understand the conflict. I think maybe men find this easier. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 I did the same week and it made me cry. So i understand the conflict. I think maybe men find this easier. I think you're right about that. I never had sex with both on the same day. In fact, my M was winding down anyway and the only time exH approached me, I'm sure, was to question whether our M could be saved. The two or three times it happened I was nauseated. It was time to speed up the D process. I felt like I would have been cheating on MM if I had slept with STBXH. I seem to be the kind to only love one at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 I couldn't image screwing around on my spouse (first of all) but never would I think of doing them both in the same day. I know when I was seeing xMM, I always wondered how he went home and screwed his wife after being with me (and before anyone implies these cheating people don't screw their spouse, we all know they do LOL) Nah, not my sort of thing Link to post Share on other sites
Morgan1107 Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 This happened to me early on in the relationship. MM and I had spent the day together and had sex several times. After I went home that night my H wanted to have sex. I did not like it at all. To this day if my H wants to have sex I feel like I am cheating on MM and not vice versa. MM and I made an agreement early on in our relationship that if either one of us had sex with our spouse the night before we saw each other we would let the other know before anything happened between us. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 This happened to me early on in the relationship. MM and I had spent the day together and had sex several times. After I went home that night my H wanted to have sex. I did not like it at all. To this day if my H wants to have sex I feel like I am cheating on MM and not vice versa. MM and I made an agreement early on in our relationship that if either one of us had sex with our spouse the night before we saw each other we would let the other know before anything happened between us. never mind. Link to post Share on other sites
BlackWhite Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 never mind. Chicken. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 MM and I made an agreement early on in our relationship that if either one of us had sex with our spouse the night before we saw each other we would let the other know before anything happened between us. did the schmuck you were married to got the same courtesy notice? Link to post Share on other sites
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