Reggie Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Anyone that thinks a father has an even shot at custody, absent neglect or abuse by a SAHM, is in la-la land. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Yeah you may have a point reggie. but I tell you this. if the man gets one hell of an attourney and is given a fair trial. he may walk away with half . 50/50. Everything is a long shot but it's worth it. They say alot of men dont get custody is because they WONT fight for it. You may not receive full and physical depending on the judge but miracles happen. Anyway's back to the thread... Who knows what will happen with custody. The BS is probably moving along in his life, why does the OP continue to persist in hating of this guy? Idiotic thinking by my estimation. Link to post Share on other sites
Gamine Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 especially men who have straying wives.... There seems to be a lot of tough talk about what they would do to the other man if they confronted him.... When my MW's husband discovered us one day having a beer in a tavern... he barely said boo to me... said something about me "not being worth it" and maintained about 15 feet between him and myself (I was standing closer to him than MW was.) He spent the majority of the time berating my MW... I have to say, I didn't know what was going to happen... was trying to get a read on the situation since he suprised us... The whole episode lasted less than 5 minutes.... I figured he went back outside to lock and load... but he was nowhere to be seen. We continued with our day together and I got her home that evening. Nothing more from him. what am I to make of his actions? he hasn't contacted me since.... it seems to me if he really wanted to fight for his marriage, he would have made more of a scene with me? and this is from my MW.... but she claimed that he didn't pay attention to her for years... just loved his bottle. He only got interested in being dad of the year and a attentive husband when he highly suspected she was seeing someone. What do you think? I think perhaps he is happy you took her off his hands. Maybe he has someone he prefers and couldn't care less. If she isn't worth it to him, maybe she just isn't worth it and you, SD, have someone no one else really wants anyway. So, enjoy the MW for all it is worth, because at the end of the day apparently no one else is interested enough to 'fight' for someone they are happy to see go. Link to post Share on other sites
complicatedlife Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Well, I guess it was very strange, then, for my attorney to ask me to provide her proof that I was the one who took the kids to their doctor, dentist, school appointments and such. After all, I'm the woman. I should've just had a free ride right to custody. Donna, I also find it very strange. For example, in the state I live in, custody is 100% determined by what is best for the children, not the gender of the parent...it's determined by who is able to provide them with the more stable environment, who has more time to give them, etc. I know this because my girlfriend works for the DA's office - she is no longer in the Family Court division, but that was always what was considered. In my own personal situation, my BF could have gotten up to 80% custody but opted for less because he thought the right thing for them was to spend more time with their mom. But some of the reasons why he was favored for physical custody: he stayed in the marital home that they were raised in, his job is such that he can work it around the childrens' schedule, and he had "proof" that even though he was going out everyday as the breadwinner, he was still 50% the primary caregiver (we won't get into that crazy part). Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 I need to retract the statement on the odds for the father getting custody. These days, the courts do look at who is in the best position to take care of the kids. Seems, however, that with young kids, there is a presumption that the mom is in a better position. It's a rebuttable presumption, however. In my case, my XWW is in the best position to care for the kids. She works part time and has much more free time available. We set things up this way, with her staying home when they were little, as I had greater earning capacity. In my first divorce, I got the kids more than 50% of the time, as we both had full time employment and I had been the kids primary caregiver. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 The BS is probably moving along in his life, why does the OP continue to persist in hating of this guy? Idiotic thinking by my estimation. indeed. why does he persist? good question. he has done enough to him, the guy doesn't dignify their existence and leaves. Not good enough for SD though. He wanted more of a reaction from him. He wanted to add insult to injury. Its an ego trip for him. He wanted everyone in the bar to see that not only did he take his wife from him and his wife left him, but wanted to humiliate him even further. he gets off on it. fortunately the BS didn't give him the satisfaction. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Well, I guess it was very strange, then, for my attorney to ask me to provide her proof that I was the one who took the kids to their doctor, dentist, school appointments and such. After all, I'm the woman. I should've just had a free ride right to custody. not strange at all...just a formality and covering the bases. Even though cheating doesn't come into play, my attorney wanted all the details just so he wasn't caught by surprise by anything. And not just from a legal standpoint. There are people out there that like to get things into the court record that won't do a thing to help them in divorce, but designed to humiliate anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
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