moo Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 How did I get here? How is it that I feel I can't live without this person? How is it that I feel like I will die without this person? I have cried like I've never cried before. I can't believe that I feel like I need somone so much that I feel like I will die without him. I know he's an arse wipe, so why do I feel I desperately need him? Why do I feel is if I cannot make it without him? Link to post Share on other sites
evaG Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 It's addiction. Look at your post. Is it really healthy to feel that way? The right person for you should be someone you -know- will always be there so there's never feelings of being alone. Let it all out. It's ok. We're here to support you. You -know- he's an arse. Can you see yourself being treated like that for the rest of your life? Link to post Share on other sites
Wings Of Love Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 I know the feeling. I feel much the same, except my ex is quite possibly the nicest guy I've ever met. You could argue that he's not nice because he broke my heart when he said he didn't love me anymore. But honesty is far better than staying with me when he really doesn't feel the same way I do. I know it's hard, but just think. If your ex is as bad as you say (I loved your Wrath Of Moo thread) then concentrate on the fact that he did you a huge favour by leaving you. Now you're free to find someone who is ten times the man he is. Link to post Share on other sites
dkny27 Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 How did I get here? How is it that I feel I can't live without this person? How is it that I feel like I will die without this person? I have cried like I've never cried before. I can't believe that I feel like I need somone so much that I feel like I will die without him. I know he's an arse wipe, so why do I feel I desperately need him? Why do I feel is if I cannot make it without him? Moo I feel the same way right now. It's horrible and it sucks. I wish i knew what to tell u but I am lost too. Just know I am here for u. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moo Posted July 17, 2009 Author Share Posted July 17, 2009 Yesterday, I was bent over, crying so hard, coughing, and then worn out. It was a terrible crying fit. I was saying things like "I can't make it. I can't live without him." It reminded me of a heroin addict who was going through detox (except I was not vomitting). This really scares me. Is it really normal to be that upset...to be crying off and on for 9 weeks and with so much intensity? I think I am addicted to him. That scares me. I am going to talk to my therapist this morning. Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 It reminded me of a heroin addict who was going through detox (except I was not vomitting). I'm sorry you're hurting, moo. I posted this link in another thread but I can't seem to find it right now. However, the basic idea is that romantic love and some forms of drug addiction generate the same type of reactions in brain chemistry. So, in a very real sense, the end of a romantic relationship is much like an addict trying to wean themselves off drugs. See Love And Drug Addiction Share The Same Chemistry. Point is, you're not crazy. It won't kill you. But yeah, it's gonna hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
utterer of lies Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Yesterday, I was bent over, crying so hard, coughing, and then worn out. It was a terrible crying fit. I was saying things like "I can't make it. I can't live without him." It reminded me of a heroin addict who was going through detox (except I was not vomitting). This really scares me. Is it really normal to be that upset...to be crying off and on for 9 weeks and with so much intensity? I think I am addicted to him. That scares me. I am going to talk to my therapist this morning. Why not take up new, interesting hobbies such as excessive consumption of alcohol, drugs or unhealthy food? Link to post Share on other sites
Author moo Posted July 17, 2009 Author Share Posted July 17, 2009 Yes, I figured the neurotransmitter released would be dopamine and it surely is what keeps people addicted to drugs. You know, you release dopamine when you do other things...just doing things that make you happy is related to dopamine release. My guess is you release much more when you are in love or doing drugs. So, the more things you do to make yourself happy, the more dopamine you will release. Thanks for the article. And thanks for everyone who is trying to help me and others. You are doing us all a great service. Link to post Share on other sites
joseffrost Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Moo, the key is in your title - you KNOW you can live without him. I felt awful for weeks after my ex finished things - crying, not sleeping, not eating, thinking very very dark thoughts (I am normally a very positive person) and wondering if I really could go on without her. The next step came in realising that I really could live without her, but maybe my life wouldn't be as good. Hopefully the next stage is just realising that life will be different, and will only be worse if I choose to dwell on the past, pine for her day and night and refuse to do exactly what she is doing (and rightly so) and just get on with my life. Hang in there, I know it's awful but time and positive thought will help. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Is it really normal to be that upset...to be crying off and on for 9 weeks and with so much intensity? Yes, very normal. Fun, innit? It is like coming off drugs and it hurts so dang much, you can end up addicted to something else as well. In my case, I went back to ciggies after being off them 4 years and of course, the "I will just have another beer and that's it" (yeah right) and also taking a little something to lessen the anxiety, in my case, lorazepan. It's difficult to even do anything else but cry. All the interests you had in life, just disappear. You wonder if you are losing your mind and how in the world you can get through another day of pain. It's called grieving. Then, miraculously, something will just snap in you. For me, it took 4 months. I am now pretty much pain free and can see things more clearly. My interests have returned somewhat and I no longer dread another day living without him. Yes, it does get better and you will get stronger each day. It just takes awhile to rebuild your self-esteem and confidence and to actually love yourself and realize that you are far more important than the person who no longer wants the love you have to give. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 I am now pretty much pain free and can see things more clearly. My interests have returned somewhat and I no longer dread another day living without him. Wonderful news, Hopes. This is very good to hear. Sorry for the brief threadjack. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moo Posted July 17, 2009 Author Share Posted July 17, 2009 I feel so much better. I was walking back from my therapy session and I thought about my past relationship. Oh GOSH...I am a good person and I deserve so much more than he was willing to give, which is nothing. I knew I could live without him, but I did not feel like I could. Now, I feel like I can live without him....at least I feel this way today. This guy is not God's gift to women. This is a stone cold bastard and I am soo much better off! Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 I feel so much better. I was walking back from my therapy session and I thought about my past relationship. Oh GOSH...I am a good person and I deserve so much more than he was willing to give, which is nothing. I knew I could live without him, but I did not feel like I could. Now, I feel like I can live without him....at least I feel this way today. This guy is not God's gift to women. This is a stone cold bastard and I am soo much better off! YES! Keep thinking this way, and you're on your way to recovery!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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