I like my best friends sister

[ALF]

I met my best friends sister when i was in 6th or 7th grade. Ever since then ive liked her on and off. But for over a year ive really fallen for her and i told her twice i think. She told me she liked me back one time. We are really close and we talk when we are alone. Now she just says im one of her brothers ,and i told her that im not. What am i supposed to say?? The last time i told her that i really liked her was over 6 months ago i used to give her full body massages and she really liked it....but i havent in a LONG time...... i dont know what to do. Sometimes she hates me, and sometimes i think she might like me. We just joke around alot and shes DEFINATELY my friend. But i want to be more than a friend to her.....So if i can get any advice at all i would REALLY appreciate it.

[D.]

Dear Alf, You state:

 

"Now she just says im one of her brothers ,and i told her that im not. What am i supposed to say?"

 

Let me give you a clue from the female point of view. Whenever a girl tells you she likes you as a brother, that means that she is not romantically nor sexually attracted to you but likes you as a person.

 

If you continue to pursue her as a girlfriend, I promise you that she will become so uncomforatble that she will go to any lengths to avoid you.

 

As far as the full length body massages, masseuses are paid to do this, it is very enjoyable and there is no sexual attaction between the massager and massagee. It just feels good ... even coming from a good friend. Don't take her enjoyment of you massaging her as her enjoying you romatically.

 

She has made her feelings clear to you. It is up to you to respect that. Now, I am not saying that it won't change at a later date. But at this time, she sees you as a brother. If this bothers you too much because of your feelings for her, you may need to distance yourself for your own sanity.

 

In the meantime, seek other girls that you find attractive. I guarantee you that when you do, this girl at present will become like a sister to you

[Tony T]

The girl has sent you mixed messages. She changes her mind from time to time.

 

As I have said in other posts, it's really difficult to stir up those romantic and sexual chemicals for somebody who's around all the time.

 

Make yourself scarse around her. Don't call her or see her except on rare occasions and for brief periods. I promise you she will start thinking about you differently.

 

Friendships can transform but it takes some strategies like the one I've outlined above to do it. If you don't follow those directions, it simply won't work.

 

If she has even slight feelings for you other than as a friend, the minute she hears you're going out with someone else, it will drive her crazy and you will hear about it.

 

I also want to caution you that there are a lot of ladies who will be your friend and who will send occasional signals of interest but that interest is in the neutral zone. Basically, they want to have no romantical dealings with you but they don't want to see other women being romantic with you either. They will get jealous when you see other ladies...but they really don't want to go out with you. I don't understand this fully but that's the way it is.

 

I think you ought to just move on and go about your business. Why people have to try to force things to happen always puzzles me. But, then again, we always want what we can't have. Make yourself somebody this lady can't have!!!