herewegoga Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Ok there is this man I dated very briefly for 2 months about a year ago. We had fun together and went out every couple of weeks to dinner/ movie, baseball game, etc. Nothing intimate ever other than a quick kiss goodnight. I like him quite a lot and decided to "up the ante" so to speak and said something at the end of an email about talking about how much I wanted to kiss him. He responded, very quickly by the way, that although he enjoyed spending time with me, he didn't see it going anywhere romantically and didn't want to waste my time. Thus we stopped seeing each other. Months pass and I get an email wishing me a merry Christmas, a few more random emails over the next couple of months, each to which I responded politely but nothing more than that.........then a few more weeks pass and he sends me an email inviting me to a concert and telling me how much he would like to see me. Seriously? WTH?? We chat on the phone and email a bit more in the time leading up to the concert..........he tells me several times how much he is looking forward to seeing me.......BAM the concert is rescheduled! We both seem disappointed and he ask me out to dinner instead. Meet him for dinner, have a great time, talk, laugh, jsut as great as it was before. At the end of the meal we hug and he says he had a great time "keep in touch." OOOKAYYYYYYY??? I emailed him and thanked him for dinner, kept it light and friendly, etc. I hear nothing, no phone call nothing. Then about 4 days later he sends me a fairly lengthy chatty email in which he refers to our dinner as a "date" and telling me what a great time he had and how wonderful I looked, etc. I'm uncertain about the whole thing after last time. I like him a great deal and don't know if Iwant to head down the "friends" path again. After ending things before would a guy initiate contact again KNOWING how I felt if he still wasn't interested?? Link to post Share on other sites
PenFan Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 The fact that you aren't sure where this is going says a lot. If he was interested, you would know. The biggest mistake you can make right now is to over analyze the situation and expect more than he is willing to give. It's time for you to fall back and let him do the work so you know where the two of you stand. He might enjoy your company, but isn't interested in moving forward with a relationship. Like I said earlier, if he's interested in a relationship, you'll know. Until then, don't get to ahead of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 seems to me,he's enjoying your company as a more friendship date. nothing wrong with that,unless you're looking for more. don't believe he is though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author herewegoga Posted July 18, 2009 Author Share Posted July 18, 2009 Thanks y'all. Yeah I'm thinking I'm "on stand by" I guess I'll just see where it goes. I'm definately keeping my options open though. Being rejected once was not cool...........don't really want to go through that again. I'm just unsure as to if I want to "be friends" or just let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Thanks y'all. Yeah I'm thinking I'm "on stand by" I guess I'll just see where it goes. I'm definately keeping my options open though. Being rejected once was not cool...........don't really want to go through that again. I'm just unsure as to if I want to "be friends" or just let it go. You dont want to be "friends", you want to try again. Friends is useless, you know that. You want a partners. You cant be friends with someone you really want to be with. If neither of you can step it up, then let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author herewegoga Posted July 18, 2009 Author Share Posted July 18, 2009 You dont want to be "friends", you want to try again. Friends is useless, you know that. You want a partners. You cant be friends with someone you really want to be with. If neither of you can step it up, then let it go. You're right. I guess my dilemma right now is that after only one date I really don't KNOW if he's gonna step it up. I guess I'll give it a few weeks and see what happens. If it seems like the same old thing as last time then I'm outta here. He KNOWS how I felt before, he can't seriously think I wouldn't still feel the same way. I'm not willing to sit around and be the back up plan in case he doesn't have a better offer. Is it unrealistic to give it a few weeks to see where he's headed? I really do like him a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
WineCountry Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 You're right. I guess my dilemma right now is that after only one date I really don't KNOW if he's gonna step it up. I guess I'll give it a few weeks and see what happens. If it seems like the same old thing as last time then I'm outta here. He KNOWS how I felt before, he can't seriously think I wouldn't still feel the same way. I'm not willing to sit around and be the back up plan in case he doesn't have a better offer. Is it unrealistic to give it a few weeks to see where he's headed? I really do like him a lot. A FEW weeks..as in three weeks. Honestly, I wouldnt give it THAT long. If the guy REALLY likes you, he will be in contact before then. I would only give it 10 days to see if he asks you out again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author herewegoga Posted July 19, 2009 Author Share Posted July 19, 2009 [/b] A FEW weeks..as in three weeks. Honestly, I wouldnt give it THAT long. If the guy REALLY likes you, he will be in contact before then. I would only give it 10 days to see if he asks you out again. Well we are going out again. We are attending a concert together but not until the end of August. I guess since I've already committed to that I don't want to do anything drastic until after that since I already told him I would go with him. BUT even with that I'm not sure if it's a date date or a friends date. He is insisting that he come and actually pick me up for this one though........even though it will add about 45 minutes to his trip each way...........he's never done that before. We've always just met somewhere or met in the middle and then rode together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author herewegoga Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 Well heard from hm tonight. He's a partner in a really big law firm so he IS busy. Took his son to camp this weekend, some law firn obligations, etc. We are going out again later this week. I guess I'm just gonna see how it goes and see if I can get a better feel for what he is doing. I already have plans for the rest of the weekend so I know we wont e seeing each other more this week than the one time. I guess it's just wait and see for now. Link to post Share on other sites
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