When to give up?

[chris]

I was dating my x-boyfriend for 3 and a half years. We recentally broke up because he said that something is missing that was there before. He still calls all the time and constantly wants to hang out. He still spends every free minute he has with me yet he says he still feels the same. I get my hopes up everyday hoping his heart will change. It's been almost 3 months and I don't know when I should give up?

[Tony T]

Give up today.

 

We have become a nation of adrenaline addicts. Most of us want that fix, the kind we get when a relationship is new, to continue forever. It simply does not. You're lucky it lasted as long as it did.

 

Men who are emotionally MATURE, once the initial sizzle of testosterone has diminished, don't announce that something is missing in the relationship. They form a new, more meaninful and more solidly based bond with their object of love and take the relationship to a more stable and secure level.

 

Your guy doesn't understand all this and probably doesn't want to. At this point, he does care about you and wants to be with you but what he is seeking will most likely not reappear under present circumstances. Without knowing he's doing it, he's now using you for companionship until someone else somes along to once again give him that chemical rush attendant to brand new relationships. You shouldn't allow this.

 

When someone breaks up with you, TRY YOUR BEST TO GET THE MESSAGE. You do NOT want a friendship with this man, you are wanting romance. By spending time talking with him and hanging out, you are putting yourself through needless torture and setting yourself up for a very crushing blow when he announces to you that he's found someone else he's attracted to and wishes to date. You admitted yourself he spends his "free" time with you. That implies he doesn't really make time for you.

 

If you get out of his life totally or at least severely curtail contact, maybe he will realize what he had with you...and the sparks he felt could reappear. Then you would be in the driver's seat when he called you. But by hanging around and being his buddy, you are barely in the truck.

[magicklady]

let him go now, he is just using you for something to do until he can find someone else. As bad as this hurts it will be better for you in the long run if you just go on with your life and find a new man who will appreciate you!

I was dating my x-boyfriend for 3 and a half years. We recentally broke up because he said that something is missing that was there before. He still calls all the time and constantly wants to hang out. He still spends every free minute he has with me yet he says he still feels the same. I get my hopes up everyday hoping his heart will change. It's been almost 3 months and I don't know when I should give up?

[billy the kid]

"yesterday" no I'm sorry day before yesterday..

I was dating my x-boyfriend for 3 and a half years. We recentally broke up because he said that something is missing that was there before. He still calls all the time and constantly wants to hang out. He still spends every free minute he has with me yet he says he still feels the same. I get my hopes up everyday hoping his heart will change. It's been almost 3 months and I don't know when I should give up?