How long have you gone without talking to your SO?

[bodie124]

I've been in this LDR for about 3 months. It's going on about two weeks since I've heard from my SO either by phone or email. She's traveling around in Peru and I guess maybe she doesn't have access to either. I was just wondering what's the longest you all have had to go without talking to your SO.

[hoping2heal]

I think maybe 24 hours a handful of times. But if she has no access to communication, that can't really count as her not contacting you, however I will say I'm rather surprised you two didn't work this out before she left.

[Lovin a scrapper]

I have been with Rayette for over a year now and aside from when we are at work we dont go more than an hour or two (mostly less than that though) without some kind of communication. It may be a call but mostly texting.

[KikiW]

Agree with Scrapper - most of the time it's within a couple of hours. If I haven't heard for 3-4 hours I know he is REALLY busy at work or I start to think something is wrong. I don't think it's been more than 24 hours out of contact since the beginning of our official "togetherness".

[Thaddeus]

I guess I'm from a different generation. I don't see why anyone (who's not married or living together) has to be in contact with their SO every single day.

 

I used to travel a fair amount for work and was involved at the time. There were stretches that we didn't communicate for a week or more. Not because neither of us didn't care, but simply because we were too busy working, in school (she was in uni.), and just living life.

[Lovin a scrapper]

I guess I'm from a different generation. I don't see why anyone (who's not married or living together) has to be in contact with their SO every single day.

 

Its not a matter of havingto stay in contact. I know with Rayette and myself it a matter of wanting to stay in contact. I love talking to her or texting her and she loves it as well. We do not like to have stretches of time where we dont. Its one of the reasons that we have such a strong relationship and rarely have conflicts.

[KikiW]

Agreeing again with Scrapper (we really are two peas in a pod! You sure you're not my long-lost brother?)... I am certainly capable of going without talking to my SO, but why bother? In this technological age, sending a quick "love you!" or "thinking of you!" is easy and takes only a moment, and makes the other feel good.

 

It was something I lacked in my prior relationship, and something I refuse to do without again. I like being told I am being thought of often, and I like being encouraged to express myself as well (another area I am unused to and am working on).

 

(Hehe, I just got the little ring telling me he's texted me! "Thinking about the love of my life!" *melt*)

 

I have no doubt that as we move into other phases of our relationship - moving in together, new work environments and schedules, getting married, whatever... our daily patterns will change. But I would still expect to send and receive a little note every few hours to make sure we know we are in each other's thoughts.

[hoping2heal]

Yeah, I agree. It isn't about having too, it's just wanting too. We enjoy eachothers company on a daily basis, I can't imagine going off travelling and not at least calling during my take off/landing to say hello and tell him I love him and vice versa. Neither of us tell the other "you HAVE" to do anything with regards to communication, we both just make the effort to stay in touch.

[Lovin a scrapper]

Agreeing again with Scrapper (we really are two peas in a pod! You sure you're not my long-lost brother

 

 

We have to be related somehow!!!! lol

 

I love hearing from her anytime that she contacts me. It makes my day every time.

 

I do agree that even though our daily patterns will change when we are together, we will always text sweet and loving things to each other when we are apart during the day, there is no doubt about that.

[Rollercoasterr]

The longest I've gone is a week. That was last year when he went on vacation with his parents. They go to some lake place where they are cut off from all civilization and let me tell you, it was horrible. He came home a day earlier than I expected and you could tell that we were both just dying without each other.

 

Other than that, it's only been 2 hours at most. We are in constant email/IM contact while I'm at work and he's at school. As soon as we're both home we're on the phone and usually end up falling asleep like that.

 

Sounds kind of crazy that we're always in contact but that's how we want things to be. We just enjoy talking to each other. A lot.

[Els]

Slightly more than 24 hours.

 

You guys really have the time to text every hour at work/school? I envy you. I usually don't message him at all when he's at work/school, unless it's important, and I can tell he prefers it that way because it's just so stressful and hectic there. When he's at home though, Skype will be on all the time.

 

I agree with hoping2heal, OP. You both didn't preempt the possibility of her not having access?

[Rollercoasterr]

Slightly more than 24 hours.

 

You guys really have the time to text every hour at work/school? I envy you. I usually don't message him at all when he's at work/school, unless it's important, and I can tell he prefers it that way because it's just so stressful and hectic there. When he's at home though, Skype will be on all the time.

 

I agree with hoping2heal, OP. You both didn't preempt the possibility of her not having access?

 

 

I work for a major cellphone provider in the U.S., so being glued to my Blackberry is part of my job. Just so happens that it being able to have msn and email on it makes being in this LDR a whole lot easier for us. He emails me when he can at school, and if he logs on to ebuddy or something he'll send me messages every now and then. But yeah, we're pretty much available to each other 24/7.

 

I've also considered naming my first child Blackberry, so I might be a little off my rocker.

[KikiW]

I started with a Blackberry, but he decided on an iPhone and the texts came out really aggravating (along with many techfails), so he bought me an iPhone last week. Since I own my own business I have to have access to emails and whatnot all the time so it's in my hip pocket nearly 24-7. He is a water treatment plant manager and on call most of the time, so HE has to be accessable.

 

Since we have them handy, we just text short notes every so often. I try to call him while he's on his way to work, we chat for a few at his lunchtime, and then around 9 to 10pm my time we start up Skype for the rest of the night.

 

Of course there are plenty of exceptions - I DO have a social life, and spend time with friends and family. Those are the times when I am more limited in my communication, since I let him know ahead of time that I won't really be available, but since they all know I am in an LDR and have a business, they understand if I take a few seconds to check my phone.

[bodie124]

I guess i'm just a little surprised is all. She was at the same location in Peru for the first two months, which she seemed to call pretty consistently, and for the last month she said she'd be traveling. Before she left to travel was the last time I'd talked to her. We hadn't been talking every day, but maybe once every couple of days which was fine with me.

 

She's got a cell phone with her, but I spent the last of my phone cards last time we talked (I've already bought about $200 worth of phone cards ). I don't know how much I want to spill on more cards when she told me that she had a bunch still to use.

 

When I was down traveling Belize in May, I still managed to get to a pay phone now and then... even when I was super busy... and at MOST 2 or 3 days after I was back from being in the middle of nowhere I was able to squeeze in a check in call.

 

It's just strange not hearing from her...and a little dissapointing I guess. I'm really just hoping she just doesn't have any possible way to call.

[Island Girl]

The longest was years ago, just once, and it was 11 days.

 

I was ready to string him up and kiss him off. Seriously I was livid.

As it was he was in a place with no access - but he didn't tell me ahead of time -- and I was LIVID.

 

THAT has never happened again.

 

Lately, because of issues on my side, we talk every couple of days. Sometimes 4 or 5 are in between.

 

There are times when we just have to stay on the phone. We get wrapped up in each other and lose track of time.

That is why we have to try and stay conscious the rest of the time.

[bodie124]

The longest was years ago, just once, and it was 11 days.

 

I was ready to string him up and kiss him off. Seriously I was livid.

As it was he was in a place with no access - but he didn't tell me ahead of time -- and I was LIVID.

 

THAT has never happened again.

 

Lately, because of issues on my side, we talk every couple of days. Sometimes 4 or 5 are in between.

 

There are times when we just have to stay on the phone. We get wrapped up in each other and lose track of time.

That is why we have to try and stay conscious the rest of the time.

 

See that's the thing, she told me she'd be traveling a bunch but she didn't say anything about not trying to reach me for weeks. If that was the case I would be feeling quite different.

[Island Girl]

See that's the thing, she told me she'd be traveling a bunch but she didn't say anything about not trying to reach me for weeks. If that was the case I would be feeling quite different.

 

This and with the circumstances (that she already went there and had no problem communicating THEN) I'd be incredibly angry.

 

As I said my husband never has made this mistake again because it nearly cost him the relationship.

When I say I was livid - My inner Hell Cat was unleashed.

 

Because I didn't know what happened - initially I was worried. So I was calling everybody. The Minister of Police, the Prime Minister's office - I mean everybody.

In the meantime I had his sister running all over the place trying to track him down.

She did eventually find him on a remote part of the island. She got him in the car and drove back toward the town until there was cell coverage and had him call me.

 

I realize this isn't the case with your SO. She has been on this trip before and you know she is fine.

But you have spent your $200 in phone cards and she has yet to use hers.

And now it has been several days since you have talked to her.

 

If I were in your shoes I'd be beyond angry. And I wouldn't call. I'd wait for her to.

And then I'd make it very clear that what happened is unacceptable, thoughtless, and NOT speaking well of how she views you or the relationship.

[cutiebutt]

...a couple hours, not much longer...

we do it like most of you guys in here... txting is very important for both of us.. no matter what we do, we keep thinkin of each other and want to let the other know.

We are in different time zones, he is 6 hours behind, but even when im sleeping, he sends me a lil txt every once in a while, and the "good morning" is every day on my cell phone when I get up.. and so he has one of me.

 

Its something what keeps us goin..if I have a bad day, and even I dont let him know that, a txt of him always cheers me up and theres nothing more wonderful than that.

 

*192 days to go*

[SomeGirl]

The longest really has been a day (It's only happened once in almost 5 months we've been together). But he leaves me voice messages all the time and I do as well.

[aerogurl87]

Yeah, I agree. It isn't about having too, it's just wanting too. We enjoy eachothers company on a daily basis, I can't imagine going off travelling and not at least calling during my take off/landing to say hello and tell him I love him and vice versa. Neither of us tell the other "you HAVE" to do anything with regards to communication, we both just make the effort to stay in touch.

 

I feel the exact same way with my SO. We don't HAVE to talk all the time, but we both enjoy it so much that it comes naturally. Honestly though, the longest we go without talking is a few hours and that's usually only because one of us is busy at work or sleep. Other than that we constantly talk to each other whether it be via text, a phone call, or an IM. I like knowing my SO is thinking about me and I know he feels the same way about me. It's nice to know you're missed by someone that you care so much about.

[Lucky_One]

There seems to be a lot of LDR posts lately about their SO "disappearing" for days or weeks at the time. It's one thing to have no access, like IG's H has or for an isolated incident like a vaction, but another to be in a situation with a computer and a cell phone handy.

 

I can't imagine how a relationship can grow and thrive, when one partner is sitting pining at home for a simple 27 second text and the other partner is out doing lord-knows-what for 120 hours with no contact.

 

If we are apart, then we email, text or call. At least three calls a day in the morning and in the evening and at bedtime (free long distance and cell to cell minutes on our cell plan make that supremely simple - and I don't know a cell company who doesn't have free long distance for a country or unlimited minutes at certain time periods), and sporadic texts or emails. We tell what our schedules are, we talk about incidents that happen, we ask for work or personal advice, we touch base with our hearts.

 

Days without contact for no legit reason? I think that's BS, personally.

[Just Call Me Reba]

If he goes to his brothers...it can be two days...maybe three, sometimes he will drive down the mountain to text me or call if the signal is good. Depends on the family event.

 

Take that back...it was a week...I went to Jamaica on vacation and turned my cell off because At&T was gonna charge me a ridiculous fee for calling him and receiving calls from there...so I gave him my room number. Phone in the room did not work...though I did not know it. I was ticked at him for not calling. He called but I didnt get the messages til I checked out...we were both pretty ticked about that.