i'm a pothead, my bf used to be

[tattoomytoe]

i smoke almost everyday, usually more than once.

i have a great job and repore with everyone i know, i can stop smoking, but i like to do it.

my bf on the other head is a former pothead, who doesn't like for me to smoke. he says he doesn't understand why i smoke...apparently when he got high he had negative thoughts about himself, and he would get very negative/ depressed. i on the other hand have great highs, i think more analitically, i am much more creative and relaxed, i do things with more detail and perfection. i can also be silly and giggly, but rarely giggly.

 

anyway, the only real arguments we have had is when he has asked me if i was smoking and i lied, and said no...he got soo bent outta shape because i lied, but he would have gotten just as pissy if i had told him. thats happened only twice, so now he says if i am going to smoke fine, just do not lie, fair enough. so he was over i wanted to smoke started to and he had this fit, why can't i be more considerate and not smoke around him, because i know he doesn't like it.... Hello! i thought he said ok.

 

so now i do not smoke around him. but i feel so uncomfortable smoking now. i really love him, but i like my pot too.

 

do ya'll think i am being unreasonable?

[tredulce]

When you give up an important person because of a substance, you know you have a problem. I've never smoked pot, but my boyfriend used to. He gave it up voluntarily and has told me that although he loved pot-there are better things in life that he is not discovering.

 

It sounds like your pot usage has gone too far and if it costs you this love, you'll have to learn the hard way.

[twiggys bird]

bollocks to that!!!!

if u like smoking bud do it. i personally love it i substitute it for drinking. if i drink alcohol it makes me ill... terrible moods and slow. actually negative thoughts like your ex explained. i also smoke bud most days but if it works for u great. i do it everyday and find its a great help against my depression. creativly its brillent. also it doesnt kill! u aint gunna die from a few joints compared to drink. my cousin infact died from alcohol so wat do u choose? think more about saving your lungs.

my dad smokes it too and recently decided to quit. of course now he wants me to quit. its your choice and its unfair to PRESSURISE sum one into stopping. do it when and if your ready. so id say keep being silly on pot like meeee

hayzexxx

[SUGARMAGNOLIA]

I agree with twiggys...You could be ****-faced drunk. But I would not lie to him about it, thats just asking to make things worse. Be honest with him. Tell him you like to smoke a phatty and thats just the way it is. Unless you're asking him to buy it for you I don't think that it is his business to tell you not to--I don't think that you need to change, but I wouldn't smoke when it was just him and I either-it's just best to avoid the situation. I have the same situation. My guy just is a major cheapass and believes that it is too expensive for him, but I ask him if you wants to everytime, sometimes it works-sometimes it don't.

[tattoomytoe]

thanks...that iwhat iwas thinking and tredulce- i do not think it would ever get to the pouint where he would up and leave with out saying something, and i will stop , but now is not my time.

[SUGARMAGNOLIA]

I wouldn't think that he would leave just because of that either. But I personally don't think that it is the reefer that is that big of a problem. It sounds like he just hasn't had much experience with it, maybe his opinion will change if he is assured that it is not that much of an issue.

[tattoomytoe]

yeah we have not said anything about the whole thing in a while, fine with me. but he was arrested on possession charges so i know a lot of his concern stems directly from that too. thanks for the support!

[Sir Blaze_Alot]

tattoomytoe,

 

SUGARMAGNOLIA, twiggys bird and tredulce all have good points which should be considerewd...

 

Im a uk geeza, and ive been smoking Mary-J since 1990 full time, I love my herb, and ive smoked thru my education (which i did ok in up to HND level) and in most jobs, and my performance has never been questioned. i love the high, and im a smoker for life id like to think.

 

i dont believe that pot use in a relationship is a negative, but more a part of that individual that partakes which simply should be accepted by the partner, as an integral part of you.

 

Ill tell you this, i am a gentle guy, and honest, and i like to thk funny, but can i meet a female anywhere in the uk that has the love for the herb as i do...no. its so hard to meet sum1 when i do not drink alcohol, and that excludes me it seems from social interaction, and makes meeting miss right v v difficuilt.

 

So i say unto you this: hold onto your man, if he digs you, and you him, try to minimise the smoking you do around him to a minimum, as the good ones are so hard to find. since my last relationship, i really miss being intimate, at the cost of herb, and i count the days till i met another miss of my life, that loves the herb as i do, and if your out there miss thang, i gotta big fat reefer to spark and share with ya.

 

good luck tattoomytoe,

 

Sir blaze_alot.

[dyermaker]

Marijuana is an interesting addiction. It's not like cocaine, where you suffer too much economically. It's not like heroin, where you suffer socially. But the most harmful thing about marijuana addiction, is that one rarely realizes they are addicted.

 

You won't lose your hair. Your heart won't stop. You won't go into a murderous rage and kill everyone around you. But marijuana does rewire your brain. It's a drug, that's what it does. It's socially acceptable, and almost legal. It would be way easier for me to get pot than it would for me to get liquor. It's a part of many people's lives.

 

With most addictions, you can try to stop, but fail. With marijuana addiction, you just don't want to stop. Because it's posisble to effortlessly go many weeks without weed, you just figure "I can stop, but I don't want to". When I asked my mother to stop for me (She doesn't do it a lot, nor around me, but I wasn't comfortable with it, and I'm still not), she told me that she can stop, she just doesn't want to. In your post, you stated " can stop smoking, but i like to do it." I'd just like to assert that I don't believe it's as easy as you think.

 

The nature of addiction is that it hurts relationships. You aren't used to your addiction hurting relationships, but now that you are in a relationship with a recovering addict, it has. The reason he's uncomfortable around you is the same reason recovering alcoholics avoid people who drink.

 

He likes you a lot, that's why he told you it was okay to smoke. But that's hard for him, and by continuing to smoke around him, you are making it hard for him, no matter what he says. They say pot doesn't hurt relationships, but in this case, it has. You lied to him, which should say something about the nature of your addiction, should you ever feel like addressing it. As your relationship with this guy progresses, you'll find that the choice between your man and your bong is going to become clearer.

[InmanRoshi]

I used to smoke everyday for about 6-7 years. I didn't have any tangible symptoms that told me that I had a problem. I achieved my college degree while doing it. I started my career. I performed great at work. I received awards and promotions.

 

It wasn't until after I tried to quit that I realized I had a problem. Whenever I quit, I found almost every my life to be dreary, bleak and depressing. Then I realized that I was probably depressed, and self medicating with the pot. I haven't been smoking in a year and a half, and I've found myself to be infinitely more alert, sharp and energetic. I've decided that I need to confront my depression sober.