Thornton Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 A very simple question: If you're divorced, can you get remarried in church? As far as I'm aware the answer would usually be no - but what if your first marriage was a civil union at the register office and wasn't conducted in church? Would you therefore still be allowed to marry in church, given that in the eyes of the church you haven't been married before? Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Full disclosure first: There was a time when religion played a very significant role in my life, but I out-grew that and am now about as far from religious as you could imagine. Now, to the question: It depends on the church. Catholic faith says no to divorce, and a practicing Catholic cannot get re-married in a Catholic church. However, the church is becoming more and more lenient in issuing annulments which removes the stigma of divorce. In essence, an annulment means that even though a couple when through the ceremony and all that, there was never a proper marriage in the eyes of god. I know, it's confusing to me too, but who ever said that religion makes any sense? Generally, mainstream Protestant churches will allow a divorced person to marry in church provided all the legal requirements are met (you may have to prove divorce through legal papers and whatnot). Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thornton Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 I know that the Catholic faith says no divorce - but do they really consider you to be divorced if your first marriage was in a register office and you were never actually married in a Catholic church? Surely if your first marriage was a register office affair, the Catholic church wouldn't recognise it, and therefore you'd still be free to marry someone else in a Catholic church if you wished? I recall that when my parents got married in a register office, my grandparents and the Catholic priest spent a lot of time trying to convince them that they weren't actually married, and they wanted them to go to church and have a proper wedding, which they eventually did simply because the church classed me as illegitimate and therefore refused to baptise me unless my parents had a Catholic wedding first. So it seems to me that the Catholic church doesn't recognise register office weddings. Link to post Share on other sites
taiko Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 I know that the Catholic faith says no divorce - but do they really consider you to be divorced if your first marriage was in a register office and you were never actually married in a Catholic church? Surely if your first marriage was a register office affair, the Catholic church wouldn't recognise it, and therefore you'd still be free to marry someone else in a Catholic church if you wished? I recall that when my parents got married in a register office, my grandparents and the Catholic priest spent a lot of time trying to convince them that they weren't actually married, and they wanted them to go to church and have a proper wedding, which they eventually did simply because the church classed me as illegitimate and therefore refused to baptise me unless my parents had a Catholic wedding first. So it seems to me that the Catholic church doesn't recognise register office weddings. Its confusing for Catholic specifically along with other sects which consider theirselves the one true or the church with full.... The Catholic Church would still consider you married however getting their nulity of marriage may be easier if the Catholic never completed the sacrament of getting married in the Church, getting validated later so they can take communion or getting permision from the Bishop before hand to marry outside of the church. Technically the Church would refuse to baptise you if the Priest believes that your parents have no intention to raise you as a Catholic. For the reccord I've never been Catholic but my wife is what is called a cradle Catholic. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Methodist churches will never marry a divorcee, regardless of the circumstances of the first marriage. Not sure about other branches. Link to post Share on other sites
HsMomma Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 The Presbyterian church will marry divorcees, provided the divorce was a legal divorce (as a matter of fact, our minister is divorced & remarried). Link to post Share on other sites
taiko Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Methodist churches will never marry a divorcee, regardless of the circumstances of the first marriage. Really? The United Methodist have generally been on the liberal side of Christianity over the past 30 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 The two Methodist circles that I move in practice that. I'm not sure whether their doctrines are the same as US' though. Link to post Share on other sites
taiko Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 The two Methodist circles that I move in practice that. I'm not sure whether their doctrines are the same as US though. In the US the UMC tends to be a swing vote denomination, considering other official positions taken not remarry a divorce seems odd. Guess I will check after work. Link to post Share on other sites
taiko Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 The two Methodist circles that I move in practice that. I'm not sure whether their doctrines are the same as US' though. I asked around, the denomination, United Methodist, do not forbid remarriages they leave it up to the local pastor. Link to post Share on other sites
flavius Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Church weddings are a relatively new innovation. Before the 1500's it would have ben rare for anyone but landed nobility to do it. People would just ring the church bells to gather the community and they'd make their big announcement, whether before or after the sexual consummation. All marriage was Common Law marriage, but it was considered a sacred trust none the less. The church-officiated wedding was typical for nobility because it involved the transfer of property and realignment of feudal obligations, and the clergy were the legal clerks of the state back then. (That's why they call it clerical work today, because record keeping was historically done by clerics. Cleric = Clerk. Most places in the USA, it is the County Clerk who certifies marriages, and the ministers merely witness it on their behalf.) Yeah I know, who cares. But I thought it was interesting Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Well my mother's catholic church and the priest I grew up with at my old catholic school said that I could have a catholic wedding ceremony, even though I have a child out of wedlock and I'm divorced (my first marriage was not in the catholic church, though). You just have to both be catholic and take the year long premarital course. But they may make an exception for me because Fr. J has known me for over 20 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 You just have to both be catholic and take the year long premarital course.The course is now a year long? When wife #1 and I were married we did so in a Catholic church because that was her family's background. We were obliged to take the course but it was only two or three Friday evenings for a couple of hours. Most of it was useless, frankly (not supposed to use birth control, wife should obey her husband and all that nonsense) but there were a couple of bits regarding finances, legal implications and insurance stuff that made sense. But a year? Link to post Share on other sites
taiko Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 The course is now a year long? When wife #1 and I were married we did so in a Catholic church because that was her family's background. We were obliged to take the course but it was only two or three Friday evenings for a couple of hours. Most of it was useless, frankly (not supposed to use birth control, wife should obey her husband and all that nonsense) but there were a couple of bits regarding finances, legal implications and insurance stuff that made sense. But a year? The local Priest and Bishops set the schedules for the pre cana counseling. Some take months, others go on a retreat like one day affair. Just say the year did not come from the Pope, so they can be flexible. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 a year spread out, as more and more couples work and find it challenging to fit everything into their schedule. And it also depends on what premarital counselling options a diocese offers ... I know that the Catholic faith says no divorce - but do they really consider you to be divorced if your first marriage was in a register office and you were never actually married in a Catholic church? Surely if your first marriage was a register office affair, the Catholic church wouldn't recognise it, and therefore you'd still be free to marry someone else in a Catholic church if you wished? from what I understand, all first marriages count as sacramentally valid, whether or not any of the parties are Catholic. I think the exception would be if the couple had their union "blessed" by what the Church considers a "cult" – Nicole Kidman's marriage to Tom Cruise comes to mind, I think they just did theirs through the Church of Scientology, which the Catholic Church does not recognize as a valid faith ... even if the first couple was not Catholic, if a subsequent marriage is to a Catholic, then yeah, it's "real" in the eyes of the Church, and that first marriage must be annulled through the Church so that the marriage to the Catholic can be sacramentally valid. it's crazy, but it's also the rules if you plan to live a sacramental life in the Catholic faith, so you do it ... Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Most of the churches that I know of have no problem with divorcees. With the exception being the Apostolic church. They don't believe in remarriage except the first or previous spouse (whatever number) be deceased. They can't legally keep their members from getting married, but they won't perform the ceremony (which is what I think you are asking). I had a friend that had to convert to Judaism over a two year period before her husband's Rabbi would marry them (and then her husband divorced her anyway so she converted back to Catholicism). So, other than that one denomination, the only impediment that I know of to second marriages is the forcing of conversion to the church or religion you want to get married under. Link to post Share on other sites
ForumFool Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I can answer this from experience. I was married by a Judge AND I was Catholic as was my husband....our marriage was NOT recognized by the church. When we divorced I also had the church declare my marriage offically null and void they call it due to lack of FORM ..as in they never held the marriage as valid... The church doesn't recogize a civil union as binding. So I could remarry....IF I had married another christian in ANY christian church I would not have been able to do the null and void due to lack of form gig. They do recognize other christian marriages....A plus with most christian churches is if a spouse cheats and you can't work past it they will let you divorce and remarry..The Catholic chuch is less easy on that.....SO THAT was why they would not baptize you.....to the church your mom and dad were not married and thus living in sin....hope that helps Link to post Share on other sites
RA1 Posted September 13, 2009 Share Posted September 13, 2009 OP. any update from you on your own case? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts