MadMission Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 FromI, Your child is a toddler...I am guessing somewhere between 18 months and age 3 ? He will have NO RECOLLECTION of a D. He will NOT experience it as a shock, trauma, or his world turning up-side-down as older elementary/middle school/high school kids do. He will not need therapy. You and H can D and establish a schedule for your child to have equal time with each. Your child will grow up as this being his 'norm' and it will be a way of life for him. As long as you and H can be kind and respectful of one another when you are together and keep your child's best interest at heart, he will grow up happy and have emotional good health. As for your H, please let him go. It sounds like you have some feelings for him, however, you do not feel for him the way you should...the way a W should feel about her H. You love the OM. That will never make for a good M. Your H might not see it right now, but it would be a gift for you to D him. He will be sad and grieve the loss. But, he can then maybe meet a woman who has tunnel vision for him...the way it should be....who cherishes him, is loyal to him, protects him, and desires ONLY him. I thank you so much for your post because you have confirmed for me what my H went through after OW ended their LTA. D-day was 4 yrs ago for me. My H stayed in the M for the kids, to save face for himself, to stay in his nice house, to avoid financial loss, etc. While I am very happy that we are able to co-parent so well together, I am chronically troubled that I am with a man who really prefers someone else...and I believe he still pines for her. I wish he would have just divorced me back then...during his LTA. Don't stay in your M if your heart is not in it as my H did. I cannot even put into words how painful my ordeal has been. Let your H go. Your child will be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
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