Post here instead of b*tching out your friend!

[kizik]

This thread is an intentional rip-off of polywog's highly successful "Post here instead of contacting your ex!" from the Coping section.

 

Basically I feel like there's a fine line to walk in friendship. Often times we cannot tell our friends our annoyances with them, without risking losing them. Now this begs the question: shouldn't we be able to tell our friends anything, even if it's about them? Unfortunately the answer is no, b/c people are very sensitive and no one likes to hear bad things about themselves.

 

So I'll start.

 

Friend 1: You're a great musician, but your GF is the spawn of Satan. You are a codependent wuss to her. What's up with that? And why are you so shy and quiet? And why are you so lazy, and where's your musical commitment? Get some ballz, bro.

 

Friend 2: How come you play so hard to get? I've known you for over ten years. Why does it feel like a struggle every time I need help from you? Why are you so selfish?

 

You're both great guys, but you're totally self-absorbed.

 

Ahh, I feel a bit better.

[Thaddeus]

Friend #1: Your teasing that you've ramped up over the past few weeks is getting tiresome. Yes, I KNOW you got a "brazilian" and I also KNOW that you won't invite me into your bed. And stop shouting at your kids. Makes you look bad. I love you dearly (as a friend) but your attitude is pi$$ing me off.

 

Friend #2: Your wife has got you by the balls. She's completely ruining you financially too. Stand up. Show some backbone. You're totally pu$$y-whipped but refuse to admit it.

 

Friend #3: You're raising a narcissist and a bully by giving in to every little demand by your boy. You're in charge, not a 9-year-old. Get a grip on him before it's too late.

[kizik]

Right on! Thanks for playing along, Thadd! Hope it felt good.

[New Again]

Friend #1: We talk for hours and hours AND HOURS about why you have so many guys who wanna "date" you, but won't commit - but you never listen to any of my advice. You always ask "why does this happen to me?" but you flip out when I give you even a half honest answer. Here's ONE reason: you show zero interest in any of these guys - you make them chase you; hook up; go back to showing zero interest - bitch because they don't contact you - then hook up again when they contact you weeks or months later.

 

Friend #2: Your on again off again boyfriend is a classless piece of trash, and I can't believe you're dating him - I'm becoming convinced that you need the crazy drama he provides in your life.

 

...and as a result of Eddie's thread, gotta add as a pure rant:

Friend #1, #3, #4 and #5: You're a bunch of f****** c*** a*******. WTF.

[Pandaren]

I have a friend who is the organizer type. The only problem is the rest of the group is very laid back and go with the flow. It really pisses me off when we're all sitting around having fun conversations and he starts scheduling the whole damn night right then and there. "OK GUYS WE HAVE TO GET FOOD IN 15 MINUTES THEN WE'LL PLAN ON THE 10:15 SHOWING OF X MOVIE". Of course we're all laid back and don't like to argue so most of the time we go along with it. BUT SERIOUSLY DUDE!!! Chill out and enjoy the moment!!!! It just seems like it's more about exactly what he's doing instead of who he is with. I don't care what we do, I just want to spend time with my friends.

[belle1861]

friend #1

thank you so very much for turning your back on me, and walking away from me without saying goodbye. and throwing away a friendship of 10 years. also thanks, for not caring if i was ok or what happened to me.

 

#2

when i come to you with a problem and need to vent, just listen and give me a hug dont tell me to let it go and move on, i need my 15 mins pity party

 

#3

listen i love ya, but stop making it all about you and stop trying to make me what you want me to be.oh and stop telling i need to lose weight. i thought it was care to me but Hon, its conrtol and thats your problem

[redfathom]

Friend: I am tired of hearing about you and guy problems - when you don't have a love interest, especially when my family is around and you try to dominate the conversation. Who cares that you want a guy with a nice car, who cares if a guy wants to sleep with you. If you were good enough they would want to date you not just f*ck you and never call you back. So you shoot me down because you feel so low, but it doesn't bother me because you do it to every other girl in your life. You feel like crap and have such low self esteem that you want to try to make other people feel just as crappy as you, but I won't. You used to be so nice, now you're just a user.

[Jimmy's_Brother]

You are a whiny, spoiled, skinny, lazy, selfish little brat. I'm going to kick you out of my band.

[lettym]

i hate u so bad right now. you think you can always push me around but one day im gonna make u feel how u make feel. dont ****in take ur anger out on me..i didnt do **** 2 u! I always do what u want me 2 do and i'm tired of it!!! sometimes u make me hate myself so bad.

[Spizzarky]

#1: I am so disappointed in you. After 9 years of being my best friend, you completely disregard me in your attempt to kiss the ass of #2. You NEVER stuck up for me. You don't even know me anymore. You get mad at me for not telling you things, but then you don't listen when I try to talk. You walked away when I needed you most. You'll regret this when she's gone.

 

#2: I am so done with this friendship. I welcomed you into my life and instead of being there for me, you took my best friend. I'm done trying to appease you. I'm glad you're leaving. You're a bitch to others and a bitch to me. No wonder you've gone through so many friends.

 

ughhh.

[nobody's girl]

To all of my friends:

 

I love you all and am truly happy for everything you achieve in life. I would never begrudge you anything and always want you to be happy. But please understand that when you call to tell me about a new baby, new job, new spouse, new bf/gf, new house, new career, etc. while I'm broke, unemployed, single, etc. it's just like a kick in the teeth to me. Please share your good news, but please don't harp on it for half an hour then try to put on a sympathetic face and say "so how are you?" before turning the conversation back to you. I get it, you're happy and successful, I'm a loser who is repeatedly kicked while down. I don't need to be reminded of it on a daily basis. I wish you well in all that you receive/achieve but please don't rub my face in it.

[Jimmy's_Brother]

You're late.

 

As usual.

 

You are quite selfish, y'know?

[LikeCharlotte]

You are a hypocrite and apparently a liar. I heard every word you said last night and maybe you think you have a point but your point would be based on fabrications. You and my other "old friend" are being complete a****** to me and you both are getting a tiny window to stop your s*** or I'm gone. Almost 15 years of friendship. I won't waste another breath or minute. You are about to lose a great friend. I would never treat you this way.

-Charlotte

[kizik]

Hi LC! Long time.

 

Sorry to hear about your "friend". You're better than that person, clearly.

 

**on your side**

 

-kiz

[girl68]

situation 1: J is getting married, i'm not a bridesmaid. J asks me to be "wedding day coordinator". I say no and explain why (not comfortable with that reponsibility, afraid i'll screw up, don't know what to do, am not a good leader, do not feel comfortable being in charge) all good reasons IMO. I tell her I will help our mutual friend S do it so long as she is in charge not me. J proceeds to call me selfish, immature and yadda yadda yadda. WTF? I honestly don't want to piss off little miss cheapass bridezilla.

 

same friend different situation

 

situation 2: me, J, and 2 other engaged friends (i'm not engaged) have dinner... wedding talk commences, I talk a bit about "what i want 'one day'" and J says: wait, why are you talking about this- you're not getting married! Me thinks: Yes beeotch, I know, you freggin' cow. Funny how we did this very thing for hours before any of us were engaged but now, i'm not allowed to? WTF

 

same friend again different situation

 

situation 3: J: "I'm going to have my stagette in VEGAS!" me: "seriously?". I probably won't be able to make it. J: "WTF, that's selfish- I'd come to yours no matter what!" me: "on my wage, you wouldn't be going anywhere." Her: *sound of crickets* silent treatment. WTF

 

I'm selfish becasue I can't afford/ don't want to spend $1000 on a trip for her... yeah- I'm selfish.

GRRRRRRRRRRRrr

[Flyleaf7889]

Friend #1: I hate that you constantly lie to me about your well-being. It makes me feel that you can't trust me enough to take on whatever is bothering you. I want you to be happy, but if all you're going to do is complain and not tell me the real problem, I'm not interested. I'm your best friend, and I want to help you. I'd love it if you'd open up to me more.

 

Friend #2: I hate that you act like my friend when we're alone, but as soon as your other "friends" come along, you treat me like a loser. I know you talk about me behind my back, and it really hurts. I wish you would treat me the same when we're with other people, because I'm really considering giving up on this relationship.

 

Friend #3: I hate that you talk about everyone badly, make up stuff about them just for me to feel sorry for you, and then act all buddy-buddy around them. The only worse thing about being two-faced to me is being two-faced to other people and dragging me into your drama. I'm fine if you want to continue being immature, but I'm not interested, so please keep me out of it.

 

I think I feel better, but I really wish I could say it to their face...

[Odyssey]

Friend #1: I'm so sick of hearing about your bitching now. You are so insecure, first you get married ASAP to keep up with all your friends. Then, you string along the poor sap that married you because you're afraid to be single. Yes, that dreaded awful word single. Now cry to me because life is so unfair. Get over it lady! Get a divorce and let your husband find someone he can trust, who's happy to be with him. In the meantime go back to the dating scene and be more selective next time before you screw up someone else's life. Marriage isn't meant to be a safety blanket until you find the one who is really meant for you, that's what dating is for. Grow up!

 

Friend #2: You are a loud, selfish & cynical a-hole. You should stop making fun of people all the time 'cause it's beyond funny now. It's just sick! You should look at yourself in the mirror 'cause your life isn't something to brag about. I hoped that STD drama scare some sense into you. Stop playing the field & find a real relationship!

 

I got enough of my own drama, to worry about your problems as well. Damn, that felt good to vent.

[kizik]

A: did you really come over here last night to have a "talk" with me? Bro, I should have fired you months ago. You're a spoiled f**king brat and you're younger than me. Why, again, am I taking sh*t from you? Screw you. You're lucky I was drunk last night, it made me tame. I would have kicked your a$s out of my apt. had I been sober. But I'm not sober during the evenings anymore.

 

Anyway, I'm not going to extend myself anymore to you. Play the f**kin guitar and don't ever come to me for a "talk" again, or you're out.

[LikeCharlotte]

awww hi kiz . I've been really working hard to get my life on track so LS has taken a back seat. As for the "friend(s)" they are now on the "whatever, we aren't REALLY friends" list. I don't have the time or energy to be upset about it.

 

Pt. 2

Dear A,

You lost me as a friend. Later. I know you will be as miserable in 20 years as you are now. You aren't happy because you are a narrow selfish jerk that only sees other people for what they can give to you. You are missing life and I honestly don't even care now that I know who you really are. BTW I know you were trying to get into my pants. I was never flirting with you. I have never been attracted to you - and ummm you are so full of yourself that you think my bf wants you (bad enough you think I do! ROFL). Start living in reality. You are a d*ck and thats why you are alone.

-Charlotte

[bozwa]

I really don't miss you. We became friends back when we were in the same place in our lives, when I was single and wanted to go out and party all the time. You were married with 2 kids yet were still living like a single free spirit. Over the years, yes we were close and had a lot of fun. I met my fiance and began working on making a life with him which means I'd prefer to do things with him making our home than going out EVERY SINGLE NIGHT OF THE WEEK OR EVERY WEEKEND with you. Going out every once in a while is not good enough for you. Everytime you needed someone to talk to or be there for you, however, I was there. I dropped everything and was there like friends do. When you needed a place to live with your now THREE children, both my fiance AND I opened our home to you, didn't ask for rent, only asked for money towards the utilities and groceries when it got out of control since 7 people were living here now instead of just 3, didn't complain too much when all FOUR of you slobs trashed the house without a care, didn't confront you when NOTHING happened as you said it would before you moved in, didn't complain when we were stuck watching over your kids and handling situations because your job and new boyfriend was more important than coming home on time to take care of your kids, didn't peep a word when you and my fiance would butt heads constantly - even though he was saying everything I agreed with.

 

Before you left you stated that you had to move your kids out because you didn't feel they were 'safe' in my home. Are you kidding?? You tell me that once you move out and we move past this, you would 'tolerate' my fiance for me. And then recently, after you've removed me from your 'friends' on two social networking sites, you message me to ask when our wedding date is? You actually expect me to invite you to our wedding? Would inviting someone who can't stand my fiance really be fair to HIM? No thank you. We will have people at our wedding who love and care for BOTH of us.

 

Your life is chaotic because YOU make it that way. You've burned your bridge with me. I feel sorry for your current boyfriend, as you have no idea what real commitment is. Since I've known you, you've only been in 2 back-to-back long term relationships, yet I can count on more than 1 hand how many men you've slept with in that time. And you've ALREADY cheated on your current BF. Yet claim to love him with all of your heart. Yes. I know you did more with that guy at the bar last Halloween, more than what you were willing to admit to me (AND your boyfriend). You forget, I know the person who owns the bar and the man you went home with? Yeah, lives right across the street from the bar. You? Alone with a man after partying and drinking? You didn't just sit and compare music tastes. You forget I know you too well.

 

After having a taste of not having you in my life, I am relieved and do not ever wish to resurrect a relationship with you. I felt obligated in our relationship. And that is not how I like to feel in a friendship. You wanted me to make you too much of a priority in my life, and that is something I just do not wish to do with YOU. You are constant drama, and that is the LAST thing I need or want.

 

I know, very long and drawn out, but Thank you, everyone, for letting me get that out of my head.

[berry_oh]

Friend 1: I used to look up to you. You were like an older brother to me. Even though I did so many things for you, drove you and your girlfriend to your dates who you knew I liked but didnt had the courage yet to ask her out, even bought you guys dinner at times because you "had no money", I put up with it all in hopes that you would repay my kindness and friendship. After I confronted you about everything, you could only see things from your point of view. It's been 3 years since we last talked/hung out and I just want to say I can never forgive you, you were a bad friend, but I've learned from that experience and I've already let it all go. You've showed me to never do so much for a friend.

 

Friend 2: I was there for you so many times and stuck by you through all your ridiculous dramas. Even when you felt all your friends have turned against you, I was the only one who truly stood by you. I was your truest friend, and you used that against me. You destroyed my property and used my kindness to lie to me. I believed you. I thought you were my friend. It's been 2 years since we've seen each other and when I saw you at your birthday party a few weeks ago. We talked as if nothing has happened. We can never be the same, but I can honestly say that I've moved on. You showed me that I should never put so much trust into anyone.

 

Friend 3 and 4. Friend3, we started out on good terms. You called me your best friend. We did so much together. When I was going through my issues with Friend2, you and your friends took me in. I was happy. I went out of my way so much for you so you can spend time with your gf. Then it seemed all you wanted from me is to use me for rides and to satisfy your gf. It didnt matter what happened to me, just as long as you two are happy. I had hopes that you would come around. Friends, especially best friends don't treat each other this way. And when you and your gf went on a break, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear. Instead I told you what you needed to hear. As a friend, I was honest with you. And after that, you left me for Friend4.

 

Friend 4, you were like a little brother to me. You always needed looking after and always needed help. I was there for you, got you a place to stay when you started college with me. And you ditched once you found new friends. And worst of it all, when I saw you with them and you guys were going to hang out, it was your friends, NOT YOU, who always invited me to come along. So let me say this, what the hell? So when you and Friend 3 both decided to leave me behind, I was very hurt. Especially now that you guys can't even see that I was hurt by your friendships. We stopped talking and seeing each other about 1 year ago. I haven't been able to put this behind me yet, but I can say that from you two, I learned that you can't always have faith in your friends Can't always have faith that they'll do the right thing or return your friendship equally.

 

Friend 5, you have been both a blessing and a curse to me. We shared the same values, beliefs, and we were both annoyed by the same friends. We always went to each other for personal issues and I always tried to cheer you up and make you happy. We had some rocky issues to work out, but we always ended up being the best of friends in the end. In this year, we've grown closer and became even better friends. I was happy with you, but now our friendship is broken. You go around acting like you dont even know what you did. We agreed a week in advance to meet up and talk about our friendship, and then you go and made other plans tell me you can only spare 2 hours for me. I didnt get the chance to say all I wanted to say. Could you honestly not realize that you treated me wrong? Our other friends can see this from my perspective but why can't you? You can not be that blind. You're faking it to avoid confrontation. Of all the friends I've had and currently have, you were the most important to me and the one who I cared about the most. And now I can hardly spend a day without thinking about everything. You keep telling me you miss me. I miss you too, but I need to move on with my life and I dont know if things can ever be the same between us. I no longer see you as a good friend, even though you say I'm one of your best. It's been only a few months since we've really talked. I'm still getting over you, but I can say that you've showed me I should never devote so much of myself into anyone.

 

I've had a couple of years of bad luck when it came to friends. I'm someone who you can say is too nice for his own good. But despite all of this, I am the man I am today because of these experiences. It has changed me, for better or worst, I dont know yet. But I firmly believe more than ever now that nothing happens without a reason. Despite the bad friendships we've made, they don't come and go without us taking something from them. We learn more about ourselves and what we look for in life from these bad situations and the important thing is to never give up hope that everything we go through is not without a greater purpose.

So I would like to say this to the bad friends I have made. I'm no longer burdened so much by you guys. I am going to come out of this stronger than ever. I'll no longer let this hold me back in life. I'm going to take a giant leap and hope that all of this will lead me to something greater in life. So to all of you, I say thank you for the life lessons, and goodbye.

 

It's a pretty long post and I had a lot of things built up inside, but I will say this. I feel a lot better now. :]

[kizik]

*bump*

 

for catharsis

[Ruby Slippers]

Dear "Molly": Excuse me for not remembering that you work on Saturdays now. In case you've forgotten, the world does not revolve around you, and I do not have your rapid-change work and school schedule memorized. I'm glad you chose to focus on me not knowing the specific details of your whereabouts, rather than the fact that I invited you to do something fun. An appropriate response would have been, "Oh, I can't make it Saturday, but thanks for the invite, and you guys have fun. I'm free Wednesday. Wanna have lunch?" Basic social skills, people!

[Ruby Slippers]

Marriage isn't meant to be a safety blanket until you find the one who is really meant for you, that's what dating is for.

ORLY? Can't say I agree with that.

[tinktronik]

Friend1- You seriously have to stop collecting animals. You cannot afford to take in every stray that shows up and charge thousands of dollars on your CC on unneeded vet bills. You are out of work! I mean come on! You fill your life with all of these animals so that you don't have to have any real human connections. Your most recent BF was not your BF; he was someone else's BF. I know you did not really miscarry his baby last time he called things off with you. I know you do not really have breast cancer, you just say that to get attention when you get angry and people don't have time to put up with your tirades. Get better counciling.

 

Friend 2- Seriously, how old are you? 31? You have never had a job, you have never gotten past you first year in college, you have never had a GF. I got one of my female friends to sleep with you at 30 so that you would not be a virgin anymore. Your parents pay your bills and you get fatter and fatter and fatter while you sleep your life away. You are a totally sweet, cute, funny, intelligent guy. Why are you doing this to yourself?

 

Friend 3- Your GF is a drunk and I'm pretty sure she beats you up when you are alone in your house. She is also unemployed. I know she USED to make a lot of money, I know she used to be hot, I know I remember. But she is neither anymore. Now she just sits around getting drunk and being mean and getting older everyday. Now you pay the massive debt that you can't afford while she sleeps off the hangovers. Time to bail.