28 years! Found her hidden condoms; confront - holding for a friend? Come on!!!

[BlueFootedBoobie]

I do not know why I looked in her wallet that morning. I never made it a habit to snoop on her after 28 years. Anyway, there hidden in her wallet were three condoms. We don't use condoms! So, I confront her. She says she is holding them for a friend at work because her "jerk" husband wouldn't understand. She continues to deny being unfaithful, but is reluctant to seek counseling as I have suggested. Is it time to stick a fork in it?

[ArdeaCandidissima]

Insist that she go to counseling with you. I agree, the "holding these for a friend" story is so thin it is laughable.

 

Don't understand the fork comment.

[cindy0039]

Originally posted by ArdeaCandidissima

Don't understand the fork comment.

You've never heard the phrase, "Stick a fork in it, I think it's done"?

[moimeme]

And here I thought he meant stick a fork in the condom

[Dreamgirl03]

I would go to the couseling with her..i mean, it is possible she is holding them for a friend, but not very believeable, Ask her who this *friend* is, then confront the *friend* and ask if its true or not..maybe that can help figure out the truth as well.

[BlueFootedBoobie]

I want to thank everyone for the responses. It's been, I think, about six or seven days since my discovery. My mind usually works better than this. I will attempt to confront the "friend" about this, but I have a question here as well. Wouldn't the "friend" simply lie to me to help out her "friend". Kinda reminds me of that whole "if all Romans are liars" thing. Huh? Anyway, thanks again for taking the time.

[LadyX]

I see no reason to confront the friend. The excuse your wife came up with is lame...thought up at the moment she realized she'd been busted. And yes, the friend would lie for her.

[lipglossboost]

Originally posted by BlueFootedBoobie

I do not know why I looked in her wallet that morning.

 

I would guess because you already felt that something was amiss. I can't say whether her excuse, (be it lame,) isn't the truth. Truth is often stranger than fiction. The real problem lies here ... the fact that she refuses to go to counseling.

 

If the marriage, (and you,) were truly important to her, she would agree to go. If she loved you as a spouse should, your feelings would matter.

 

Whether or not she is cheating, or just thinking about it, the foundation is cracked here. People who love their spouses and value their feelings don't cheat. If she isn't cheating yet, it may be just around the corner.

 

I wouldn't ask her friend. Friends lie for other friends. Also, if her friend is cheating on her "jerk" husband, what's to stop her from cheating on you? Birds of a feather flock together.

 

If she won't go to counseling, it really doesn't matter if she is cheating or not. She obviously has no desire to make things better between you two either way, and you can't be the only one trying. No matter how much you give, she has to give, too, or it will fall apart.

 

I wish you the best and I hope she will reconsider counseling. If not, go alone. It may help you deal with what is to come.

[BlueFootedBoobie]

She has informed me that she has made an appointment with a counselor. This is supposed to take place within the next two or three weeks. There is a distance issue where we live. It has been pointed out to me that she may have agreed to this simply to shut me up. At this point, I wouldn't put anything past her. We still live in the same house, still share the same bed, etc. She still swears up and down that she has not been unfaithful. Still.

I've asked her to give me a complete, detailed account of how this conversation between her "friend" and herself, wherein she agreed to "hold" onto her friend's condoms. She says, "there's nothing to tell". I've asked to speak with this "friend", but have been told, she is too busy. Sure seems like a run-around to me; she says it isn't, and that I'm reading to much into it.

It is very cold in my home these days and it ain't because of the weather outside. Just thought I'd let everyone know what was happening. Thanks.

[Goatsbreath]

Its obvious she is telling stories. I once had a story teller. I mean really- whats the friend going to do- get into a intamate situation and then call time out while she tracts down her condom holding buddy. I can see that. "Just one second hun, my friend is holding my condoms for me- let me page her." Gosh, atleast my X-girlfriend came up with some better lies.