Hard time letting go

[jon_bp]

about 4 months ago my girlfriend of 2 and half years broke up with me. We were engaged and trying for our second child. 3 weeks after that she started seeing someone else but broke up with him and started dating me again. but that only lasted a day before she broke up with me again. 2 weeks later she started seeing the other guy again, but didn't last long with him either.

 

She told me that she isn't in love with me anymore, but still cares for me as friends. She also said that it wasn't anything I did. That I was a good boyfriend, its just that she wasn't happy. Because we already have one child who i can see anytime I want which i do (which im grateful for) I can't not see her, which makes it really hard to move on.

 

It wasn't till after we broke up that i realized just how dependant i am on her love. I don't push the issue and i don't talk about it any more, but I still love her very much and want my family back.

 

Now she is seeing someone else. Her best friend. The hard part is that I like the guy. But I know she really likes him too, which makes it hard for me. I don't know when I became so selfish that i want to be happy before she does. I don't want to be replaced so soon.

 

She gives me mixed signals like always wanting to hug me and not wanting too let go. Asking me to stay at her house for drinks, etc. Her family stills considers me family and likewise, but sometimes its hard seeing them as well. I think she still has feelings for me, but im not sure

 

Any advice would be good

[kurty]

pal, you are not alone

 

now, i too suffer heartbreak. tell you little about myself and how i deal with it. my ex gf broke up with me as she say i still got feeling for my ex ex gf. i admited. it been 6 yrs ever since i saw my ex ex gf, she call me one day and ask to meet her up. this 6 yrs i been running and hiding as i did something wrong. very wrong. i decide to face the devil. we chat only for an hour, i found i really had feeling for her still. i don't like the feeling so i told her. never know she only wish to be my friend and its impossible for us to be together again. i was brought back to hell, the stage when she left me initially.

 

after some consideration, i told her on the phone not to find me anymore. though i know its not gonna be easy and i sure will regret. but i willing to try

 

i learn a lesson.

 

things that are broke can never brought back together

 

there are some rules in this world, no point trying to break against it, you will end up hurting more than you are

 

hopes you will break free and see what you should do to help yourself.

[bark]

"things that are broke can never be brought back together"

 

Sadly, kurty's on the money with the above quote.

 

The hardest relationship is the post-relationship relationship. My experience is that women are masters of these.

 

About 8 months ago, my lover ended our sexual/romantic relationship. I was devastated.

 

She then calls me 2-3 times a day for the next 8 months (she still calls) to tell me about how much she misses me, cares for me and still loves me. I call her sometimes, too.

 

Talk about mixed messages!

 

My only theory is that relationships, even ones they end, are so important to some women that they don't like to totally let go. Sometimes we rejected guys misread these signals as continuing romantic interest and believe that something's still there that isn't.

 

 

So sometimes we believe we see things that are no longer there, and will never be again.

 

Spurned lovers and false hopes go together like meat balls and spaghetti.

 

 

It is torture sometimes. Hang in there, friend.

[kurty]

well said

 

hanging on

[Vivid_29]

Your situation is tough being that you have children with this woman. I really feel for you, but at the same time, I'm a little disappointed. I know you love her and it's terribly hard to let go, but why the heck did you accept her back, only to have her break up with you after one day?

 

You should have known better, to not be anyones last resort. If she does try to come back again, I hope you'll be a little more wise and not accept her. Don't play into her hand again...

[Aquilah]

I wish I could say something that might help, but all I can do at the moment is commiserate. In my case though, he decided that he just didn't love me anymore after six years. He insists that he still cares about me and he thinks we could be really good friends, but I'm not ready to let go of everything that was "us".

 

I don't know how you are dealing with seeing her when you see your child, but don't hope that she might change her mind. I've had to break off all contact with my ex because I couldn't get over the idea that he might change his mind and want me back. It was like cutting off my arm, but I know that I had to do it. You have a much greater challenge since you have to stay involved with her in some ways, but try to separate your relationship with your child from what you used to have with their mother.

 

Good luck

[toots307]

I'm surprised to see so many males with broken hearts. I'm so used to seeing men hide their feelings.

 

I feel for you and it's really too bad you have to go through this hurt. All I can say is time heals all wounds. Maybe you can take a teeny bit of comfort knowing that she is with a great guy now. You said you like the guy and he's her best friend - thank goodness your child doesn't have to be subjected to some jerk. I understand your hurting though but it will get better. Focus on YOU. Be the best person you can be and pretty soon you'll find a new someone. Good luck.

[Arabess]

Good thought Toots. I guess if it weren't for all our broken hearts though....the forum world would be dead! I wonder how people got thru this stuff before they had someplace to post and share. EWWWW.....that would be so lonely!!!!

 

As for the original post on the thread.....it's never easy to accept you've been replaced regardless of the time frame. It's just painful! At least she picked a good guy to be around your children.

 

You won't heal overnight....no one really does.....but find some diversions to keep yourself from dwelling on it.

 

Till then, keep posting with the rest of us......who have found love to be a frigged up memory!!!

[bark]

if it weren't for all our broken hearts though....the forum world would be dead

 

So true. No one goes on a broken hearts forum like this when they're having fun!

I never did. But if we can lower the human misery index--even just a little--we can feel proud.