problems with my bf while having a LDR and he divorcing soon and has a 2&1/2 yrs kid

[albed]

Hi,

 

I am writing because I find myself troubled with this relationship.

 

I met this guy in a conference in a country different from ours. Since the first time we met I really liked him. We discovered we studied the same master degree in the same uni and had a lot of interaction together those two days. But at times he seemed like coming close and then withholding so I thought he wasnt interested in a romantic relationship.

 

Almost a month after I happen to go to his country on a business trip. I call him up just to have a beer with him and my colleagues and as soon as the phone rings and I say hello he recognizes its me. We hang out those two days with my colleagues and then I leave. After some days he texts me and we start flirting with sms. He seemed interested but I always felt that at some point he pulled back.

 

Anyways he comes one weekend in my town (5 hour drive) and we had a great weekend. He was absolutely fantastic...he told me he liked me and had feelings for me etc...

 

Then he comes the next weekend and we get into a huge fight, he sees some videos in my comp of me and my ex and goes crasy... We overcome that and then I see him two more weekends one of which he traveled for two days and took some days off from his work trip to come and surprise me, which I found absolutely fantastic.

 

Then after I insisted for him to talk to me about that serious relationship he always avoided he told me that he had been married to this girl and he was separated but also he had a 2 year old doughter...

 

I was shocked and felt bad because he did not tell me right away, plus this is smth difficult to overcome in our cultures....

 

Anyway we went thriugh ups and downs for a week or so on the phone and then overcame that too....

 

Now the thing is I love the guy very much, I am in love with him, it was a long time I didnt feel like that for a man, and he seems to be very much in love with me. We have a physical attractraion, similar mindset, intelectual attraction, same values....but also very strong characters and are both used to being spoiled..

 

So we very often crash....and fight.....

 

I have been able to setle things down and he says he apprisciates it but now I feel very tired...he is harsh at times and sad...and it makes me sad too...he doesnt answer the phone or my texts at times saying he was busy. I know thats not a lack of interest, its rather him trying to save time and money....but I find it absolutely outrages and thats what we had a fight for this time......

 

And it got thicker and thicker until I hang up on him and then I called and he wouldnt pick up, then I texted him saying that he should be reasonable and he never replied. Then I sent him an email where I told him how this was really consuming me and other stuff and then asked him to let me know when and whether he was coming over the weekend as agreed...and if we could talk that night, if not then I would only talk to him when he came to see me whenever that was going to be....

 

I havent heard from him and he was supposed to come tomorrow....

 

But this isnot what worries me, what worries me is tha fights we have, and the way they make us both suffer....

 

The guy is going to divorce in september and he doesnt see his doughter at all, his ex blackmails him and asks for money anytime he wants to see his doughter.. he and his wife broke up when the kid was only 2 months and he feels horrible about having left the child so small...

 

He is scared of ending up in a relationship where he only fights and that agravates things, and he is all the time testing me how far I couold go for him...

 

I dont know....I really love him and we have fantastic moments together...but isnt it too early to fight so much? We only got together in the end of may and I have seen him only on weekends since then, and not all weekends...

 

I really would apprisciate any advice...

 

Regards,

Ed

[Lucky_One]

You are 1000% positive that he IS separated?

[lovehurting]

you have good experience.

 

I am in LD with this girl and i did not tell her that i am married and have a kid.

 

even though i am not separated or D i am going to tell her i am separated

 

if she still loves me after that then that is another story.

 

your story and my story are same dear. just make sure that guy is separated and not lying that he is separated

 

 

You are 1000% positive that he IS separated?

[lovehurting]

can you tell me which country you are talking about here ? middle east ?