gypsi Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Day 15 for me! Longest i have gone with out contacting her was 26 days then she contactted me and i was weak and replied...this time it wont happen. How are you doing ladies?? Still staying strong i hope Link to post Share on other sites
broken_promises Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Ahhh! My rollercoaster of getting over him is definetly in a dip. I feel really low these past two days. I have an anxiety of calling him up, texting him, emailing him, etc. But I have nothing to say! Everythings been said. YES!!! I felt the exact same way at the point you are in NC. I was full of anxiety because all I wanted to do was contact him, but I didn't have anything I wanted to say. Everything, as you note, had been said and I knew full well that it would just make me feel worse. I kept writing that down... that it will just make me feel worse. For some reason, writing it made me believe it and stick with the NC. You ARE doing the right thing... you are protecting yourself. I have just come over into a better part of the roller coaster. Just keep going and you will get there too. I didn't think it would happen (I've never done NC in a breakup before) but here I am, just a couple of weeks after the kind of wanting-to-contact anxiety you are having and I'm already feeling no desire to ever talk to him. Keep going! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluewolf17 Posted July 27, 2009 Author Share Posted July 27, 2009 Thanks everyone! Day 18. I'm glad I haven't caved. Why should I contact him anyways..he is the one who gave up. I went from really wanting to call him, and now I just don't ever want to see him again. If I had a majic button to ensure I would never hear about him, see him, etc, I would press it. Link to post Share on other sites
Nuala83 Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 He didn't want to get back together. He said he wanted to "wait and see" what happens, but he put in no effort. "wait and see" What the hell does that mean. Yo're not his little puppet on a string! Let's see if I can remember what my ex told me...hmmm..oh yeah! 1. I might want to be with you again someday but I don't know and we'd need to start from the beginning. 2. I feel like I can't be in a relationship right now. 3. I'm confused and need to find myself (he frequently finds himself at parties with random girls). 4. You're my best friend and I really want you in my life...I just don't want a relationship at the moment. There were plenty more but the translation to all of these is: I don't want to be with you anymore. Plain and simple! Don't be fooled by the "wait and see". All these breakup cliche's mean exactly the same thing. Sounds like you're doing great by the way! Where in Europe are you going? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluewolf17 Posted July 29, 2009 Author Share Posted July 29, 2009 Hey Nuala, Yeah the "wait and see" was total bs. I knew that..I'm a smart girl..but on the other hand it's hard to not want to beleive that they really are "confused". I went NC once I realized that still seeing him and talking to him only made me hurt more and longer. I couldn't handle it. It's hard now, in NC. But I told him we couldn't contact eachother anymore. Over the 6 months, I sent emails, we talked, I said everything I could think of, and it didn't matter. I just learned when to walk away. To bad the pain doesn't end as soon as communication stops...but I will get there and you will too. We have come a long way, haven't we? Yes, I am leaving for Europe late Friday. My best friend/roomate are going to France, Switzerland, Italy and Vienna. I have never been, so I am nervous but so excited. I am hoping it will stir somthing inside of me and help me to see my problems here in Oregon are so tiny...get a diffrent view on life, you know? Bluewolf17 Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Hey Nuala, Yeah the "wait and see" was total bs. I knew that..I'm a smart girl..but on the other hand it's hard to not want to beleive that they really are "confused". I went NC once I realized that still seeing him and talking to him only made me hurt more and longer. I couldn't handle it. It's hard now, in NC. But I told him we couldn't contact eachother anymore. Over the 6 months, I sent emails, we talked, I said everything I could think of, and it didn't matter. I just learned when to walk away. To bad the pain doesn't end as soon as communication stops...but I will get there and you will too. We have come a long way, haven't we? Yes, I am leaving for Europe late Friday. My best friend/roomate are going to France, Switzerland, Italy and Vienna. I have never been, so I am nervous but so excited. I am hoping it will stir somthing inside of me and help me to see my problems here in Oregon are so tiny...get a diffrent view on life, you know? Bluewolf17 WOW. I'm so excited for you! I do believe that travelling is going to give you a whole new perspective and open your heart wide open towards something other than men. Have a great time! Link to post Share on other sites
Nuala83 Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Yes, I am leaving for Europe late Friday. My best friend/roomate are going to France, Switzerland, Italy and Vienna. I have never been, so I am nervous but so excited. Ooooh sounds fun! Have a good time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluewolf17 Posted July 30, 2009 Author Share Posted July 30, 2009 Today is 3 weeks NC. Last night was wine/board game night. It was fun! I saw my phone blinking, assuming it was a missed call from a friend, but no it was the ex. It read "are you in Europe yet". Which is plain dumb. If I WAS, why does he think I would respond. And because I'm not, I don't know if he was trying to get a response. Pretty sure he knew I was leaving on the 1st. I didn't reply. It was SO HARD! I have missed him so much, and this little comment made me want to beleive he has missed me to. But I didn't reply. I got another text 20 minutes later "will you bring me back a rasberry beret, the kind you find in a 2nd had store?". Lame. And not funny. A Prince joke? After 3 weeks? I turned my phone off and went to bed. That was the last contact. It's so unfair how they can just reach out to you like that. And my phone service doesn't let me block numbers. I would have to change my number all together. Gaaah! Hopefully my non response sent a message. Stay in there everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
smookie Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 I broke down yesterday and called him... UUGGG please do not call them.. You really do feel worse after the contact. I did not say anything to him about our old relationship, I did however tell him when he started to argue that I was not into the arguing and no more I am out if this is the way that it is going to be. I told him that I will no longer contact him. I know I broke up with him but still..... no matter who breaks up with who it is hard on both people... STAY STRONG Link to post Share on other sites
utterer of lies Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Yes, I am leaving for Europe late Friday. My best friend/roomate are going to France, Switzerland, Italy and Vienna. I have never been, so I am nervous but so excited. I am hoping it will stir somthing inside of me and help me to see my problems here in Oregon are so tiny...get a diffrent view on life, you know? Welcome, I hope you'll enjoy your stay. It's great here. Just try not to confuse countries and cities when talking to locals Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluewolf17 Posted July 30, 2009 Author Share Posted July 30, 2009 Welcome, I hope you'll enjoy your stay. It's great here. Just try not to confuse countries and cities when talking to locals Lol. Yeah..I put the three countries as we are doing multiple cities within each one, but in Austria only seeing Vienna. Thought it was clear to me but can now see the mix up! Link to post Share on other sites
Taucher Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Well, I DID go 13 days NC. But then practical issues came into play so we been texting and emailing for 3 days now. Gah! And she is using the opportunity to ask me how I am, how my new flat is. I ignore these questions and keep it purely practical. How does she expect me to answer? What does she want to hear? That I am FINE or that I am miserable. To admit to anything would be to play into her hands, make it easier for her. There is no right answer. And then, she calls me. I dont answer. I CANT hear her voice. So she texts. Good luck everyone. Keep at it. T Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Taucher, I broke NC too. He emailed an apology and I caved in. I do think it was genuine and to ignore it would have shown he has too much influence over me. But, in the end, I think NC worked. I don't think I want him back. Just a little too little too late on his part - and the heart really does heal. Link to post Share on other sites
moo Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I will never get an apology. My ex thinks it is within his right to use people, to stand them up, and to lie to people. I will never, ever get an apology. Link to post Share on other sites
utterer of lies Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Lol. Yeah..I put the three countries as we are doing multiple cities within each one, but in Austria only seeing Vienna. Thought it was clear to me but can now see the mix up! btw, try not to miss the streetparade. Most of my american friends that saw it for the first time were amazed, and it's the greatest party of the year. Link to post Share on other sites
Nedved Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Lol. Yeah..I put the three countries as we are doing multiple cities within each one, but in Austria only seeing Vienna. Thought it was clear to me but can now see the mix up! Your gonna love Vienna bluewolf17. Its stunning!!! Austria in general is a great country to visit. My ex is from salzburg so if you happen to drop by there and see her kick her ass ;)lol The zurich love parade is amazing!!! Your ex is gonna be so far to the back of your mind you won't even remember his name when your return. Link to post Share on other sites
gypsi Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 So i just thought id drop in an see how everyone is doing with the no contact thing its day 26 for me! And i am still pining after ger even after i found out she slept with someone. What a horrible year could it please just end already! Link to post Share on other sites
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