2 states away, age gap... arguing A LOT

[maleet]

*forgive me if this post isnt under the right forum... please move to appropriate one)

 

 

Hi guys... I had originally signed up on here with a previous relationship which FINALLY ended in Dec 08 (stuck with that idiot for TOO LONG)... now with a new guy. Here it is... theres problems here too.

 

Met new guy online... hit it off tremendously. There is an age gap of many years but its not a big deal to me. He has way more energy than me on MANY days LOL. He lives about 2 hrs and 45 mins away and we see each other on weekends.

 

I wanted to also say that we have been arguing a lot. Mainly because he is finally going through a separation/divorce. He has been married for a long time to his wife but things have been almost like a roommates kind of thing for the past 6 years. He has his OWN room and so does she. they rarely see each other and besides that fact when they DO talk they argue non stop. He has since bought me a ring not too long ago and asked me to become his wife as soon as it can happen.

 

So the other day they get into it between each other and I offer my ear for him to rant and rave to. We spoke that night and things seemed to have calmed down a lot and when he hung up the phone he felt great and wanted to get to sleep since work was coming early the next morning.

 

 

The next morning i woke to a few lovely texts and I sent some back along with a voicemail... I went to work and about 3 hrs later got a text saying something about my FACEBOOK status. The way it was said was something like-- You had time to write about your breakfast or your mood and not talk to me when I am in a serious point in my life?

 

I got really mad because anything else I had written or recorded via voicemail seemed to NOT matter.

 

Basically what I am saying is, I did not focus my attention to him 100% and he blew up on me. He has since apologized...

 

But in that time where he kept saying he needed me and all I was doing was putting other people first as in facebooking (not true)...

 

I was confused and noticed he wanted 100% of my attention which I just simply cannot do. If i focus on him 100% my work suffers (i already log in and IM him during work which will eventually get me in trouble... i text when i can and i call when i can- no signal in the building).

 

I have noticed that lately we have been arguing A LOT about internet sites and whatnot... I dont hang out with any old friends, but i do keep in contact with them through facebook or myspace. This seems to have become a problem.

 

if ANY male writes me a comment he posts a mean reply and puts them down-- these men are not flirting with me. They are all old classmates or people i have/had worked with.

 

So last night the arguing got worse... it built up all day. I deleted ALL of my sites and this morning decided to rejoin this one to get some advice.

 

Now he is apparently made I had deleted ALL of my sites I was a member of- even the one I met him on (last.fm music). I still have AIM and that is all. I talk to him on there and i plan on keeping it.

 

Basically all we have now is AIM and the phone... i figured its the best thing to do right now because he cannot blame me typing on my friends wall and not HIS on facebook or whatever...

 

Its almost like I cant win here. I keep the sites and it starts up some stuff. I delete them and he feels bad too... so which is it?

 

I am planning on meeting him tonight to talk to him after work... we are meeting in the middle for dinner and I hope we can talk this out.

 

Both of us are very stubborn and our arguments get nasty over the dumbest things. In this case, he needed me to be there, which I was but when I also showed that I could multitask and speak to my other friends and post to them on facebook, it was like suddenly I was not good enough.

 

Please reply with comments. Thank you.

[somuchpain]

I have found myself to be very jealos of any boy who talks to my girlfriend through facebook or things like that, and we to have argued over the most silly stupid things, i think you should talk to him and just get to the bottom of what hes feeling. Reasure him again and again that these people who talk to you are just friends and that hes your number one. I dont think any person can focus 100% attention towards there loved one, people need family and friends and have jobs to take care off, but you should just explain that at the end of it all hes your number 1 over all. Im very new here and am new to LDR, well going on 8 months now, so i cant say i have the best advise but i hope i helped even a little, there are people on here who can help way more than i can.

 

Happy to try and help though

 

seb x

[maleet]

Usually the wall posts I get on facebook are something funny in response to a status I had wrote earlier that day. Nothing like- Hey sweetie or anything cute like that but he will still get mad. One time I wrote I was hungry and 2 of my male friends wrote funny responses about being hungry and all that and my boyfriend thought they "hungered" for lust and took it in a sexual way and got mad.

 

Today he got mad at me and told me to reactivate the sites... or he would break up with me. I dont get it. I am damned if I do and damned if I dont. I guess if I reactivated them I dont have to log in and visit!

 

Supposed to be meeting half way tonight to talk over dinner so I will keep and update. Driving to MD tonight... hope there isnt any traffic.

 

Thanks for the reply. I have told him over and over none are exs or past interests. They are NOT. They are friends from school and work. He also brought up how their networks are in this area but we all mainly live in this area since I went to school with them or have worked with them. I think he is scared of them being so close... closer than we are at the moment. He is a bit of a distance away.

[somuchpain]

It sounds a bit extreme of him to say hed break up with you if you dont reactivate them, maybe he feels bad for making you close them down, but just talk to him:) hopefully you guys can work things out:) well keep us posted on what happens

 

seb x