Married Crush (long)

[condor26]

Hi all. I was googling to get help with my crush and found this site. I've read alot of good advice on other threads. I want to tell my story and get input from you guys. Also, I think it will do me alot of good to get this off of my chest.

 

First off, I'm not married, but have a live in girlfriend of several years. My crush is married. She and her husband are new neighbors of my best friend. My gf and I go to my friends house on the weekend alot. We usually grill, hang out, and have a few drinks. I met my crush about two months ago. I'll break the rest down by event for simplicity.

 

1. From the first time I spoke to my crush we have CLICKED. That is undeniable. The first night we hung out together, she laughed hysterically at my wit and humor. A couple of days after that, she mention me to my friend (something funny I had done that first night.)

 

2. The second time I saw her a bunch of us (including her husband) were talking and joking around. I noticed that she was sitting off to herself, so I went to talk to her. We talked and laughed a bit before they left.

 

3. The third time was the most eventful. When I arrived at my friends house, he told me that my crush's husband told him that she didn't like for guys to talk to her because she was married. And that if a guy said anything "out of the way" to her, she'd tell him and expect him to straighten the guy out. Right off, I was sure that the husband meant for my friend to pass that along to me. Later on, I rode to the store with the husband and he told me the same thing. I just said, "That's cool." I'm not one who says out of the way things to women anyway. Besides, I figured that HE was the root of this, not her. Its been told that he is very jealous and has beaten the hell out of her for things HIS friends have said to her.

 

When my crush arrived, she greeted me with a big smile and a big wave. Later we laughed and made small talk. It had a flirty tone. She even tried to talk to me about racing, even though she obviously knew nothing about it.

 

After swimming in the pool with my gf and my friends wife, as my crush and the others sat on the side, it was very late and I had had too much to drink. So, I went to bed. Everyone else stayed up.

 

A couple of hours later, my friend came and got me out of bed. Some strange people had come up. By the time I got outside, they were gone. I went back out to the pool deck and sat across from my gf and right beside my crush and her young daughter (the husband was gone). I made small talk with both women. Then, being groggy and drunk, I propped one arm on my crush's knee and continued to talk to both women. Then, one arm turned into both arms, crossed on her knees as I talked to her. My gf, understandably upset, told me to go sit in another chair, which I did.

 

At this point, I had terrible heartburn. I went to take a pill for it but didn't have a drink to wash it down. My gf gave me hers. I took a sip and it was one of those horrible fruity drinks. I expressed that I didn't like it and my crush said, "Here, you can have mine," and gave me a half full wine cooler. I used it to take the pill, and drank the rest of it slowly. Not long after, I went back to bed.

 

The next few days my gf gave me hell about all that. And I apologized for my actions.

 

4. Also a couple of days later, my friend tells me that my crush asked about my truck and said that it was pretty.

 

That same week we had a birthday party for my friends daughter. When my crush and her husband arrived, she didn't say anything to me, and seemed distant. But, she did talk to my gf. I figured it was because she knew my gf was mad about what had happened. Later on we did make some small talk and she smiled and laughed as usual. A little bit later, she left, but her husband stayed. She stayed gone a while and we finally left. My friend told me the next day that she did come back later.

 

5. This past weekend we had another get together. The women all did their own thing and the men played poker. When we finally all mixed together, I began to talk to my crush. She smiled and laughed like she usually does when I talk to her. She had to leave early because she had to work the next day. I noticed that she was leaving and wasn't going to tell me bye. I said, "You're leaving? Well, bye, stuck up," in a playful tone. She said, "But, I'm not! (stuck up)."

 

6. So, yesterday my crush told my friend that her husband accused her of having A CRUSH ON ME. I asked my friend what she did to get accused of that. He said he thought it might have been her asking about my truck. But, then also told me that she asks about me all the time. Several times that I haven't been there, she's asked where I was. When I pressed him for more details later, he downplayed it and said it was only one time that she asked where I was. So, I don't know which is true. I honestly think he's a bit jealous. But, anyway, my crush said that was the reason that she didn't come back to the birthday party until I left. And that also explains her being a bit distant toward me.

 

I had made up my mind that I was going to ask her about it the next time I see her. But, after reading some other threads on here, I'm not sure if thats a good idea. My crush surely knows that my friend would tell me that she was accused of crushing on me. So, I don't know if she wants me not to talk to her, or wanted to explain her being a little distant or "stuck up" (as I said to her). She seems to like it when I talk to her. She just lights up and seems to want to know things about me. Its going to be awkward at my friends next time. I don't know what to do. Can I not just be friendly with her? I'm not morally worried about her husband. He was lusting over another girl at the birthday party and I saw him give another girl his phone number this weekend. I have to be honest, if I had the chance to be with her, I'd probably take it. Chemistry like this is rare, and great. I would like to be her friend if nothing else, though.