southwest Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 Okay, I need some kind of advice here. I'm 22 yrs old and have been in a relationship for 3 yrs/3months. My boyfriend is my bestfriend, but we didn't start out that way. When we got together we had just met and within a week he took me home to meet his parents. It's almost like we never did the "dating", just went straight into a hardcore relationship. Well, my problem now is that we fight all the time. We have a million double standards and we both realize it. We also don't have a lot in common. He loves video games, comedies, and music that is just funny, not real music. I like being outdoors, drama's and "real" music. These differences used to make us laugh b/c of how different we were, but now it just seems to make the other person feel stupid for having different interests. We can be fine for a day or two(if even that), but we fight so easily. I hate the way he talks to me. He's always cussing and telling me to shut up. I tell him not to, but he still does it. He also compliments me all the time and is the sweetest thing. It's just that if he gets the least bit irritated by me(which happens all the time) he's suddenly a different person and is so rude. We keep saying we're ending it in the heat of the moment, but then we look at eachother and smile and realize how much we love eachother. We're to the point that we laugh off that we will always fight and will have to just live with it b/c we will never break up. I don't think I can deal with this anymore and I don't know what to do. We both just keep thinking the other will change, but it doesn't happen. When is enough, enough? We both say never, but it's making our time together more miserable all the time. Please help me on mainly solving the relatioship if anyone thinks that is possible, or give it to me straight. Does this need to be over? Link to post Share on other sites
Safe Zone Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 This is a retake of my life. I was in the same situation. FOR 20 YEARS!! I look back now and I am very angry with myself that I wasted all of these years being so unhappy. I even had kids with him because HE WOULD NOT GO AWAY!!! I was always afraid to leave him because he would become very ugly. He never hit me or anything and overall he is a GREAT guy. But not for me!! We broke up 4 months ago and this time it is for ever!! When I see him it is a grim reminder of one of my major failures. Let it go!! It just gets worse. I had not had sex with him for 3 years. I hated to think that I was going to bring pleasure to a man that did not compliment my life. We had nothing to talk about! And the same way you have realized you have nothing in common / this never changes! It just gets worse. I have a very close friend whose is now battling cancer for the second time. Her advice was “Every day you spend with this man is a day wasted toward meeting the man of your life. Don't miss out on him! He will be right next to you and walk away because you already have some one". I took her advice very seriously; she has been too close to death. She has learned to appreciate all that she has in life. The relationship you are in is just a stepping stone. You are very young and have your whole life ahead of you. Focus on you since relationships come and go. You will know when he is the one!! PLEASE GET OUT / DON"T LOOK BACK!! Link to post Share on other sites
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