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Does witnessing other relationships make you appreciate yours?

Woggle

By Woggle,
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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Woggle

Woggle

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I was in the supermarket yesterday and I got behind a couple in line that made me appreciate what I have a whole lot more. The woman was talking to the men like he was lower than dirt and you could tell she had zero respect for him. She kept arguing with him about the purchases and even tried to get the cashier involved. To those in happy relationships does seeing this stuff make you appreciate what you have more?

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giotto

giotto

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no, it makes me wonder why people stick together for so long, perpetually hurting each other...

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blind_otter

blind_otter

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no, it makes me wonder why people stick together for so long, perpetually hurting each other...

 

Agreed. Witnessing the suffering of others doesn't usually make me happy for some reason.

 

I usually feel empathy and a deep sadness that they have to deal with such unhappiness, and hold so much pain close to their hearts.

 

I try not to compare myself too much to other people, because their realities are so different from mine. It would be like comparing apples and oranges.

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angie2443

angie2443

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I believe when people argue in public to that extant, they are emotionally unhealthy. They lack control. I feel bad for those people.

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Els

Els

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Well it doesn't make me 'happy'. But yes I do appreciate what I have more when I see couples like that. And whenever I read one of Woggle's posts I also appreciate my bf more. ;)

 

J/k. Or maybe not. :p

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OpenBook

OpenBook

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Witnessing couples like that make me appreciate the fact that I'm not in a relationship.

 

Amen, I'll second that!! It makes me so grateful to be free. There but for the grace of God go I.

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silktricks

silktricks

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It makes me both happy for what I have and sad for the other people - or at least one of the other people.. :lmao:

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blair08

blair08

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I'm mixed on the issue. I feel bad for those in those kinds of situations and who choose to remain in them. But I also do feel a little glad that my situation is not as bad as some people's out there.

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quankanne

quankanne

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yep. Seeing those folks who are publicly confident about their feelings makes me feel great about the fact that my husband likes to hold my hand when we go out, it's very endearing.

 

don't really pay attention to those who model the misery of relationships, that's too easy of a habit to slip into ... I like looking at/for the happy couples.

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allina

allina

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I can honestly say that I appreciate my relationship and my fiance every day. I don't need to see a bad relationship to know how happy I am in mine.

 

That being said, there are definitely moments that point out to me what a good thing we have going on.

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Trialbyfire

Trialbyfire

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That's a form of leveraging off someone else's unhappiness but for once, it's not with a direct attempt to hurt or harm...

 

I do try to sit back and say, well, maybe this kind of relationship makes them happy and who am I to say there's only one kind of relationship? And yet, yes, I'm glad I'm not in that kind of relationship but on the otherhand, I wouldn't have that kind of relationship since I'm not a victim and aren't attracted to victims.

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Teslacoil

Teslacoil

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I can honestly say that I appreciate my relationship and my fiance every day. I don't need to see a bad relationship to know how happy I am in mine.

 

That being said, there are definitely moments that point out to me what a good thing we have going on.

 

I think along these lines. I hope there are other guys out there as fabulously lucky as I am. I like seeing happy couples holding hands together. When I see people fighting in public it makes me grateful for what I have.

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HsMomma

HsMomma

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I'm appreciative of what I have with my h - not because of how any other couple is, either in public or private, but because of who my h is & our relationship together.

 

I don't compare my marriage to anyone else's relationship because everybody's got their own deal - what makes one couple deliriously happy can drive another couple insane. I'm just grateful to be in the marriage I'm in.:love:

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GorillaTheater

GorillaTheater

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I'm appreciative of what I have with my h - not because of how any other couple is, either in public or private, but because of who my h is & our relationship together.

 

I don't compare my marriage to anyone else's relationship because everybody's got their own deal - what makes one couple deliriously happy can drive another couple insane. I'm just grateful to be in the marriage I'm in.:love:

 

Things going better then? :)

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HsMomma

HsMomma

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Things going better then? :)

 

OMG yes!!!! He's off the meds (thank you Lord!), is walking much, much better & we have an appt with an orthopedic surgeon next week to discuss next steps...BUT, I have MY husband back. And, of course that made it easier for me to answer the original question, since the "real" him is back now. Thanks for asking, GT! :D

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Woggle

Woggle

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I don't need a bad situation to appreciate what I have but seeing this makes it certain that I never will cheat. I know my wife would divorce me if I ever cheated and when I see else is out there it makes me want to keep her.

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allina

allina

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I wanted to add something. Every couple, no matter how happy and in love has bad moments. My SO and I treat each other with kindness and respect but in the 3 years we have been together there have been times when we argued or were annoyed with each other. Would I ever berate him and bitch at him? No. But has there ever been a time when we snapped at each other or were clearly annoyed with each other in public? Yup!

 

So, my point is, that seeing a couple have an argument doesn't necessarily mean they're in an awful relationship. Sh*t happens.

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blind_otter

blind_otter

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I don't need a bad situation to appreciate what I have but seeing this makes it certain that I never will cheat. I know my wife would divorce me if I ever cheated and when I see else is out there it makes me want to keep her.

 

I don't fear the consequences of infidelity. I just have no interest in that type of drama drenched lifestyle.

 

It's complicated enough being in a couple, dealing with the ups and downs of life. A triad, and all that deception? Blech, I don't think so. The lure of it escapes me.

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Woggle

Woggle

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Though I am very much against cheating I can understand how a man married to a resentful woman who treats him like garbage would fall for a woman who actually shows him some kindness. If that guy in the supermarket had an affair who could blame him? On the flipside I am married to a woman who makes me realize how bad many other man have it. I married the kind woman who knows how to treat a man so I have no desire to cheat.

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anne1707

anne1707

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Every relationship is different and what works for one couple will not work for another. My father and stepmother seem to bicker a huge amount of time yet have been married nearly 30 years and are very happy together. We can all have our moments of irritation when shopping (especially if at Ikea :rolleyes:) but that may not be typical of how the relationship works all the time. The kind of behaviour Woggle witnessed may not be acceptable to all, but to some it may be.

 

Now what I love to see is an old couple who still hold hands - just to see that tenderness after 50 years of marriage should give us all hope :)

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HsMomma

HsMomma

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Now what I love to see is an old couple who still hold hands - just to see that tenderness after 50 years of marriage should give us all hope :)

 

Me, too, Anne. When I recently out of town on a business trip, I was talking to another exhibitor at a trade show - since we're all in the same industry, we know each other fairly well after years of attending these things. He is just the sweetest (older) gentleman you could meet. We were talking about his wife, who'd come along on this trip with him, & his whole face just literally LIT UP whenever he talked about her. He still refers to her as his girlfriend and was talking about their dates that they still go on. I finally got to meet her & seeing them together is like a watching a rainbow form - just spectacularly beautiful. They've been married 46 years. Does a heart good to see! :)

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doublescorpio

doublescorpio

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I *never* enjoy seeing a couple having trouble or fighting. It makes me very uncomfortable.

 

I don't think it is fair to compare one's relationship to others as well- what we see is just a glimpse of another couple and to make a judgment about their relationship over that is silly. One thing I have learned over the the years is that there is so much that goes on behind the scenes- yet we as humans assume we know exactly what is going on. It couldn't be further from the truth...

 

Seeing happy couples makes me grateful that we are capable of such love, however.

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angie2443

angie2443

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I *never* enjoy seeing a couple having trouble or fighting. It makes me very uncomfortable.

.

 

This is how I feel. Unconfortable and sad for the couple.

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