cutiebutt Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 well... what can I say, it's my second day in here and I read so much.. so many posts of you guys, and it really helped me a lot.. But still, apparently i'm having a bad day today... I can't stop crying...I miss him so much.. I mean he's there when I wake up, on camera, on mic, he is everyday.. and so he was today, I got to see him and to hear his voice.. and we had wonderful hours 'til i had to leave but it hurts so much.. I uploaded some pics on a different page and so did he last night, pics of my visit over there, from our time together... I saw those pics and even I look at them almost every day, I couldn't help crying.. tears just kept rollin and still do... I listened to some of "our" songs and that didn't make it any easier.. I know I shouldn't do that... but it kinda helps me to let the time pass he's not online...but it still brings so much memories of us back..how he smelled, his cute little face expressions, his hand on my knee in the car... ugh.. see, that's what I meant, I can't stop thinkin bout that and that makes it so hard.. What really bugs me is, that we weren't really able to say good bye at the airport.. the whole situation sucked so bad... we didn't make it on time through the horrible NYC-traffic and I was there like 1 hour before my plane was scheduled to take off, instead of 2 1/2 hours.. All passengers were at the gate already and about to be boarded. A worker of the airline checked me in at one of those kiosks and i don't know how that could happen, but apparently she forgot to check-in my luggage. So I went to that counter and the lady told me I can't get on that plane b/c my suitcases are not checked-in... long story short..the only possibility I had to get on the plane, was leaving my luggage with my baby there, and he had to ship it.. So far no big deal, but that worker rushed me through the halls, to the gate, kept yelling GO GO GO.. you're late.. HURRY UP... i was so nervous, and besides that just happy to get on THAT plane, cause everything else would have caused big problems..So we ran to that gate and she told my boyfriend to say good bye to me NOW and HERE...and kept pushing me.. HURRY UP...so I kissed him real fast, a last short, quick hug and ran away, following that lady..I just left him there.. I still see his face.. omg...as I was at the security control I heard someone screaming my name... turned around and it was him..callin me, shouting "I love you" through the whole hall...god, it's so hard to even type that..I had to rush, just said back I LOVE YOU.. and kept running to my plane.. That's what bugs me so bad... I've been through our sayin-good-bye-situation a thousand times before, but I never imagined it bein like THAT... I wasnt even sure if i EVER see him again, and even we now planned another meeting, it still feels so awful and it hurts so bad.. I think thats one of the reasons why I can't relax... 193 days to go............ Link to post Share on other sites
somuchpain Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Hey again. Well i can say your not alone with that whole good bye situation. It haunts me still, and my gf. I remember it so well, she almost walked away and then came back into my arms and broke down, with me almost breaking down to, she could see my eyes were watering and i was holding it back, and the fact that she has to go at that moment kills us both, one of the things that gets to her still is my face that was about to burst into tears, an she had to leave me standing there. All of the things we did i miss, jst like your saying his hand on my knee, his smell, his facial expressions, i have that with my gf to, all those things that are taken away from you. I find i cant listen to music, or our songs, becuase it makes me cry, and even just looking in the now empty seat next to me in my car makes me cry, going into my room and smelling her still, wishing she was still there with me, or next to me watching tv, eating ice cream together, being able to talk to her or kiss her when ever you want, i miss it all, and damn it breaks my heart hanving to let go of her hand at the airport. You just dont want to let go becuase she/he is right there and youv waitied so long to see them in the first place, that it just stings to let go of there hand and wave goodbye. I know exactly how you feel, im sure everyone on this forum does, my gf is still having a very hard time with it, aswell as me sufering to i try to be strong for her and reasure her things will change and its not like this forever, and try and get a smile back on her face. Shes away working today, and then when she gets back, i go to work for the evening till late, how sucky is that:( but at the times she is away and i have nothing to do, i try not to sit and watch pictures, or listen to love songs about us, but to think anything positive, and do something to pass time, reading a book, take a long bath, workout, just anything you enjoy to do yourself, and look forward till you can talk to him again. Iv found myself contstantly being on this forum inbetween to post to people and chat about probelms, i find it really good talking over subjects we all go through. I also try and think of things like writing a long letter to her, or i sometimes make her cute little posters with romantic cmments all over them, or send her an email about how im feeling. I found in the beggining i was hopeless, i went to work upset, i couldnt handle being alone for more than few hours of not speaking to her, i cryed and cryed and couldnt bare to go to sleep alone, but i find as time went on, like now to this day for example im much much better, and so is she, becuase i know shes coming back to me. I hate having to say, we will get through this, its ok darling, i know but it wont last, becuase i know none of that takes her pain away, and i wish i could do so much more. I think the best thing is to be positive, keep reminding yourself its not like this forever. when you can just get talk about all of the things your feeling to him and say everything you wanna say or are worryed about, ad then mabe you can relax more when hes not around. sorry for the long ramble story lol seb x Link to post Share on other sites
Lovin a scrapper Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 So we ran to that gate and she told my boyfriend to say good bye to me NOW and HERE...and kept pushing me.. HURRY UP...so I kissed him real fast, a last short, quick hug and ran away, following that lady..I just left him there.. I still see his face.. omg...as I was at the security control I heard someone screaming my name... turned around and it was him..callin me, shouting "I love you" through the whole hall...god, it's so hard to even type that..I had to rush, just said back I LOVE YOU.. and kept running to my plane. Personally I think that is so awesome that he was shouting your name and i love you in a crowded airport while you were rushing for your plane. If I had that same situation happen to me and when I think back to it, there is no way that anyone would wipe the smile off of my face. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cutiebutt Posted July 25, 2009 Author Share Posted July 25, 2009 Personally I think that is so awesome that he was shouting your name and i love you in a crowded airport while you were rushing for your plane. If I had that same situation happen to me and when I think back to it, there is no way that anyone would wipe the smile off of my face. That is what it does... makes me smile everyday when I think back to it...*sigh* i love him... Link to post Share on other sites
Bayern Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 I always say this to people who have trouble seeing their loved ones and finding it hard to not have them again; you have something in your mind as motivation. Now there is nothing to distract you where you live. Work hard, save money, study hard - whatever it is you're doing. Do it well, and focus on what you're doing. You have a goal and that is to get back to the guy you love, work hard in the meantime. Viel glück frauen. Link to post Share on other sites
carvidep Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 I always say this to people who have trouble seeing their loved ones and finding it hard to not have them again; you have something in your mind as motivation. Now there is nothing to distract you where you live. Work hard, save money, study hard - whatever it is you're doing. Do it well, and focus on what you're doing. You have a goal and that is to get back to the guy you love, work hard in the meantime. Viel glück frauen. Amen to that! Cutie, your good bye sounds like such a great movie moment! I'm sure that in the future you'll both look back on that and laugh about it. I had my first good bye about a month ago. He went to the airport early with me so he could transfer pics between his computer and my external hd. I tried to smile the whole time, but the dam broke a few times and I had to run to the bathroom to calm down and grab some tissues lol. When it was time for me to go, he walked me over to where the line was and I pulled him into a secluded corner near by and hugged him like there was no tomorrow. He kept telling me not to cry, or else he might start to cry too. We got our kisses out of the way and I hopped in line. He waited outside of the ropes and followed me as the line progressed. When there was only one person left in front of me I quick ran up to him and snagged one last good bye kiss, then went through security. He was still there as I was putting my shoes back on. I raised my hand high and waved to him, and he waved back with a big smile on his face. That's when the tears started to gush and I turned and made a b-line for the nearest bathroom on that side of the gate. Good byes really do suck! haha but a good hearty day at work distracted me enough to calm down the next day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cutiebutt Posted July 26, 2009 Author Share Posted July 26, 2009 Thank you, it feels so good to hear that im not the only one having a hard time to say good bye...and yes, we will make sure that our next good bye will take way longer.. even that short thing had its good, I didnt cry in front of him... I knew its gonna be hard, even BEFORE I went there I cried silently at home just thinking of saying good bye to him.. But I guess thats just the way it goes when you have a LDR and we all know it and we accept it cuz this other person is just worth it. *192 days to go* Link to post Share on other sites
Lovin a scrapper Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 But I guess thats just the way it goes when you have a LDR and we all know it and we accept it cuz this other person is just worth it. *192 days to go* You are right on the money you are definitely not alone there. None of us has a dry eye when we first see them and when its time to leave and Its worth every tear shed. Link to post Share on other sites
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