Author eekabug Posted August 1, 2009 Author Share Posted August 1, 2009 We went to our mc session yesterday. We all talk and the therapist gets to the 'what do you guys want to work on here' I want to work on saving the marriage she says she is done. He essentially says well there is no common ground here and it would be waste of time to continue since we are not all on the same page. And the session was over. probally the marriage as well. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 We went to our mc session yesterday. We all talk and the therapist gets to the 'what do you guys want to work on here' I want to work on saving the marriage she says she is done. He essentially says well there is no common ground here and it would be waste of time to continue since we are not all on the same page. And the session was over. probally the marriage as well. Thats how my one and only MC session went as well. Best thing you can do is go NC/LC. I kept fighting out of instinct, it was not a success story. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 You have two people to take care of right now -- LISTEN TO ME AS I TELL YOU THIS BECAUSE IT IS A VERY IMPORTANT LESSON -- you have two people in the entire world to take care of right now: 1) Your daughter 2) You That is it. That is all. Do not concern with her. It is the toughest thing to do (took me two solid months, really), but just start getting your head and your ass moving in the same direction. I die every day. Every single f*cking day I ask "Why why why?" but I have to tell you, each day that passes, I'm not asking it so loud. That voice is dying. I even lament that I'm starting to not care, how messed up is that? I no longer care as much, but now I feel bad about THAT! Ha! Listen to me very carefully -- your life is about your daughter and making sure everything she needs is covered. Then, your life is about sifting through the ashes of what you've become, and finding what you like and bringing that along. Then, and only then, do you even look up to see if you can see your wife. I cannot say this enough, because I am in the middle of it (with no children) that the person who walked is reprehensible, regardless of the reason. Unless you beat her, emotionally abused her, cheated, or did copious amounts of drugs and alcohol (I'm ok with little amounts here and there), that person doesn't have the intestinal fortitude (guts) to stick it out through a tough time. Tell me, please, that even a little of this got through. Must have missed this one! Glad the message got through! When you adrift in the dead of winter in the Bearing Sea in thirty foot seas? You get a clear pretty picture in your head! Breath Damnit! Stay alive! Everything else is relative! I guess that's one advantage Lakeside, I and other miltary types have in all of this? F*** it! I'm still alive! And trust me! That's a good thing! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 Lisa thanks but I think you are wasting your wisdom on me. I was feeling OK during our conversation(it felt like I was talking to a stranger) it was not all business and not all 180 on my part but she really reiterated she has no respect for me does not love me and does not want to reconcile. I though I was feeling OK but after my hour or two of sleep I was pacing the house freaking out. I called my parents at 5:30 am b/c thet do not know and I was desperate and in a dark dark place. I cried like a baby to my parents and I am a 38 year-old man. I cried like a baby on and off till about noon today. At least I got it together for my daughter so I could play with her this morning. I can't really cut my hours that much as I am having business problems as well. The goodtimes keep rolling. Once the 'Storms Of Life" come into your life? They roll in one after another! Its just easier being single than being married! Link to post Share on other sites
Author eekabug Posted August 2, 2009 Author Share Posted August 2, 2009 Thanks guys I hope I can help someone else if I get through this. My wife wants to move out of the house with my daughter. (I've talked her out of it for now) I do not want any of this. I honestly do not trust myself in my house without at least my daughter for me to focus on. I get my daughter ready and spend time with her in the morning and walk to the sitter. Then I get to spend a little time at night and tuck her in. The problem is right now my hours are atrocious and I work 10 am-9 pm M-F 11-5 sat and 11-8 sun. Utill I can change my hours(I am trying but it takes time) what can I do to stop this. I have thought about telling my wife she can move out but keep my daughter in the house and still have the run of the place until I am home. Then she can go to her place. BTW her ring is off and looks like it is staying off:(. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 EEK, there is nothing you can do to stop it, thats up to her, all you can do is give her your best and work on you. First things first, what do you mean "you don't trust yourself"! thats a scary thing to read here! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author eekabug Posted August 2, 2009 Author Share Posted August 2, 2009 I just don't. I have totally lost it. I am hopefully starting counciling this week and hope it helps. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 Just be strong man. If you get to feeling it, just find someplace to let it out, but keep your head. It is so easy to get drug down into a dark place and very hard to get back out. We've all gone through it and we all can come out the otherside. Just keep your head in the game and you'll be alright. You can own this situation, or you can let it own you!!! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
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