Mewzickl Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 My wife and I separated about 8 months ago, and our relationship since then has been a roller coaster to say the least. I lied to her about having a job when I didn’t and she said that I made her look like a fool and that she couldn’t trust me and she wanted me to leave. I have since then made some very big changes in my life and she has seen them first hand. About two months ago she started calling again and said that she had been thinking about me. She said that she never had the heart to throw away our wedding pictures and our cake topper. She said that she was going to break up with her boyfriend and we were going to go to Charleston together with our son. She did break up with him for almost ten hours and then she said that she couldn’t go because she was confused and didn’t know what to do. She got back together with her boyfriend and said that obviously as long as she is with him, we will never be able to get back together. Now, after our near reconciliation, she is not talking to me again and they are still dating. The weird thing is that she says they are just dating and that she doesn’t love him. She said that they will never get married and that only time will tell with us. I guess I want to know if I should just leave her alone and move on, or should I just be patient? Or am I just blind to the fact that right now she just wants a boy toy? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 If this was just a dating relationship.....I'd be more prone to let it go. In a marriage though....the dynamics are different. It's hard to walk away from a lifetime commitment....regardless of the problems. However, if she says she isn't coming back till she is "done with the boyfriend" ....it would be your decision if you wish to wait around as the "second choice". You deserve better than that....for your own self esteem sake. Sometimes someone can love you....but not love you ENOUGH to make you the biggest priority in their life. Then, it becomes your personal call as to whether you want to wait around to see if that status will change or if you just plan to move on and see what else life has to offer. I personally wouldn't wait for anyone. Then again....I may be eternally single. LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
IOnceWasHis Posted November 15, 2003 Share Posted November 15, 2003 I don't know that I'm qualified to give advice, but I will certainly speak from the heart. You obviously love this woman tremendously, and you also have a child with her. On one hand, you lied to her, so she has reason not to trust you. On the other, you have proven yourself to her, and she has seen you making changes. Unfortunately, once trust is broken, it takes TIME to get it back. You're going to have to be patient, which is not one of my strong points, trust me. BUT, if you feel that there is any chance at all for the two of you to reconcile, I say work on bettering yourself, bettering the life of your son, and see where the road takes you. Prove to her that you want her by actions rather than words. If she isn't speaking to you via phone, tell her in a letter or card that you are going to work on getting back what you once had with her, and you're going to do your part. I would also ask her to consider, as the father of her child, being completely honest and in turn, completely fair, by telling you whether or not there is hope for you two. It sounds to me as if she is just in a very confused state at this point, but the fact that she mentioned something about not knowing where the two of you will end up says that she hasn't completely abandoned the idea. Was your married life pretty decent, for the most part? Good luck to you, and God bless! L Link to post Share on other sites
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