NoIDidn't Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 No change, just more manipulations. That's all. Don't you claim to have a job to report to and tons of degrees? How are you just going to up and leave on a vacation like this without prior notice to your employer? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Well, he certainly knows how to keep her in her place. I suspect he'll do the same to the kids as they grow up as well. Hand them something that looks really good in the short term, but will do nothing in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 shes a teacher and its the summer no school Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 shes a teacher and its the summer no school Not all teachers get the summers off, but point taken. Its funny the minute the mention of BellaBabyGirl comes up, nocontact2 has someplace to "go". Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 a last post before I have to finish packing...leaving tomorrow...gotta lots to do before go... its not unusual for him to request things at the last minute...he never knows what his schedule is so when he has time, i rearrange whatever is going on to accomodate that especially when in comes to our family vacations. Whatever time he has with the children to spend I will accomodate. Besides, isnt all relationships about compromise????? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 a last post before I have to finish packing...leaving tomorrow...gotta lots to do before go... its not unusual for him to request things at the last minute...he never knows what his schedule is so when he has time, i rearrange whatever is going on to accomodate that especially when in comes to our family vacations. Whatever time he has with the children to spend I will accomodate. Besides, isnt all relationships about compromise????? Not if you're the only one doing all the compromising. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Relationships do involve compromise, but not always only coming from one side or they aren't fulfilling. Link to post Share on other sites
EarthGirl Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Of course he is happily married. He has everything and whatever he doesn't get at home he gets outside. Please remember that he can still love BS yet not be IN LOVE with her. I love my friends but I'm not in love with them. Some people leave home at 17 or 18 while others say there till they get married. Why leave a place where you are loved and things are done for you? He comes and goes as he pleases. They may have an open marriage but also they may also have a contract in which he could loose it all. I think I read last time that he is rich, well is he the rich person or is she? Some people put assets in their spouses names so if any legal problems arise their assets don't get taken. regardless of what we might thing, BS is sticking by MM and MM is sticking by BS. Why do you have to call him at home to tell him if you are going into labor? doesn't he a cellphone? I find it interesting that so many "OW" on this site have this same idea again and again that the MM is not in love with his wife. 'Their relationship is not as passionate as ours'...'He loves her but he is not "IN love" with her anymore, maybe he never really was' ..."It is just an arrangement so they can keep their assets"..."They are staying together to provide a cohesive family for the kids, that's all. Sure, that DOES happen. I'm positive it does. However these days it happens less often than it did back in Sense and Sensibility times, lol...especially in modernized countries. There are still gold-diggers of course, all of that occasionally. But a good portion of the time, most of the time I think people actually marry for love, at least originally. It may or may not be the "love of their life" (and the love of their life may come later, they just did not realize they would meet that person after they were already married to someone else-which is indeed unfortunate)...but it just may be. The "honeymoon" feelings of bliss may fade, and that may or may not be because it is not real true love....sometimes it was just infatuation and that fades for good, other times in marriages, as I've heard even true lovers can lose that spring in their step, that electricity for periods of times and go through "phases" but it usually comes back again and again...And there is an even deeper connection of steady accepting caring love that persists. I really do believe that every situation is different. The OW may really be the woman that is more compatible with the MM, but for whatever reason he is a dºck and refuses to leave the wife. On the other hand I also believe that there are situations where the wife is the better match but either because the husband has some emotional issues (I think that having an affair is sort of a way to avoid true intimacy with the SO/wife-even if that is what they really want, some guys have such fear about it)...or he wants variety sexually (let's face it some guys just want that, even if they get great sex at home-even if it's not right).. And I think that a lot of OW like to delude themselves into thinking that the MM gets what he needs in terms of intimacy (physical AND emotional, as women more than anything want to feel like they are wanted in an emotional way as well as physical) and passion that he is not getting at home. But unfortunately it is just as likely that MM is simply not getting the great sex he still has with his wife quite as often as he craves it because she is busy with a career and a bunch of kids and is too tired physically and emotionally to have it as often as he wants it...or she is sick or has a family member who is very sick, etc. All that stuff that life unapoligetically throws at us. Although even considering that men tend to be more sexual beings than women (at least when considering frequency) ...unless the couple has been having a particular long dry spell, it is more likely that the underlying problem doesn't have much to do with sex of course...but a multitude of other issues...sex or lack of is just a symptom, as they say. But just one thing to remember...If this is a guy that is ignoring your concerns and wishes to be monogomous with him...if he basically denies your and his children because he says he does not love them as much as the ones he had with his wife (that is AWFUL, by the way!)...If he treats you that badly, he probably does not think much of lying and it probably comes pretty d@mn easy to him too. So if he tells you that he feels nothing for his wife, and it is just a "business arrangement"...there is no reason for you to believe he is telling the truth. He obviously does get something out of your relationship, so it is in his best interest to keep you happy and invested in him and feeling validated by him. Because basically even though you say you are ok with this whole arrangement, you clearly need to believe that you are the woman he truly desires above all. Of course it's possible that every word he tells you is true, and it's really you he desires above all..but keep in mind that he may be lying to you about other important things ..and even if you two love eachother like crazy it doesn't mean he is capable of treating you (and your children) the way you deserve to be treated and loved (wether or not the wife is in the picture). Love does not conquer all after all. Also keep in mind that as many of us know by the time we get to a certain point in our lives, it is possible to love more than one person even at the same time and if often takes us years to figure out who is really right for us (if you believe in that "soulmate" thing, not everyone does). You may not have figured that out yet, or he might not have, even his wife may not have, even if they have been together for a long time. All of the above paragraph is of a different aspect of this whole situation...It is not about actions and having respect for other human beings through them (which I think is the bigger issue here, for ALL of you involved). It is about feelings and something you cannot control, can only do your best to figure out, to open up your heart and soul and search inside yourself...but sometimes no matter how enlightened you are, God only shows you the truth when he decides it is time and it may take a while. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
EarthGirl Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 . She likes the lime light...I dont so much care to be in front of the camera showing off. ha ha. ; ) Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts