theBrokenMuse Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 I honestly don't think you are a real poster but if you are, you don't need a message board, you need a decent therapist that can help you figure out why you are so desperate to cling to this man that you look at the tiniest scraps that he offers you as a banquet. You seem so happy that he actually brought his child into his home. A child that he told you he doesn't love AND he knows you've been harping on him about the kids so he wasn't doing it because he wanted to. Don't you understand that he just wants to appease you so that the status quo and dynamics doesn't ever change? He wants to keep you happy and therefore complacent... he knows how easy it is to shut you up. Look how excited you are that he actually did something alone with his own kid. He tells you a few nice words or one simple little gesture that takes barely any effort on his part at all and you are doing cartwheels. Learn to value yourself because the way you are carrying on I think it's evident that you don't at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Also, the 180 change is he is making big steps in my requests...like asking me "what do I want? what is going to make me happy?" Something about this sure sounds like: what will it take to keep you from bugging me? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 I think this 'nice' thing is an act to keep you in your place and to stop you from rocking his boat. I doubt it has anything to do with a genuine want or need to make you and your children part of his family. Link to post Share on other sites
joyz Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 So, all I can do is sit back and wait and see how the roller coaster ride ends up. But my children deserve to have their father if he if willing to be the father they need...married or not. u've got a point here. u've digged urself a really big hole, and it's almost better for u to stay where u are. being a single mother w 4 kids/ 2 different fathers is a hard life to have. staying where u are at least u're set financially. i don't think ur story is fake at all. there are plenty of women in your situation. the difference is that those women accept that these men have wives already and are ok with that. as far as ur children, i believe with time and him being involved in their lives, he will grow to love all his children the same. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 So the child that the MM took to his house wasn't even his?!!! How is that supposed to be proving anything to you? What does that child's father think about you sending his child into a hornet's nest? I can only imagine what the MM said to his help and W when he showed up with the child. I wonder if he even went to his main home. You did say he's a millionaire with lots of properties like the one he has you set up in. This is starting to sound more and more like Bella. I wonder how many children she has with her "top ten billionaire" too? Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Does anyone else think its weird that she allows her son to go to a mans house who isn't his father, and who is married to someone else? I thought people were way more paranoid than that these days about the male company their kids keep. Anyway, things aren't adding up for me either. I am "hormonal and pregnant" too, and the LAST thing I feel like doing is stirring up any kinds of hornets nests, stress is the last thing I need. You should be taking it easy for the sake of your unborn child, not trying to analyse your MM- shouldn't his past behaviour be enough of an indication to you what the future holds? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted July 30, 2009 Author Share Posted July 30, 2009 I think you are confused. He took our biological son to his main home... he took my oldest son to a baseball game. I dont know where you came up with the opposite? And why wouldnt i trust him with my older son who has known him all these years??? Link to post Share on other sites
Montclair0011 Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 I find this whole situation horrendous and feel bad for those children who do not deserve this mess. Where are you going with this? My only advice would be on a practical financial level. You and the children are so vulnerable. What would happen if the MM died? Are you sure you are provided for in that case? I doubt his wife would put up with that. Do you have any kind of a future plan? Why not forget trying to get him to be a real father and start getting him to sign on some dotted lines. Get real, it IS about money. I hate to sound like a job interview, but where do you see yourself in 20 years? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted July 30, 2009 Author Share Posted July 30, 2009 just got surprised with week family vacation to hawaii so i will be off line for a while...just didnt want anyone thinking i was ignoring...... i am so excited...see he is changing...:love::love: Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 just got surprised with week family vacation to hawaii so i will be off line for a while...just didnt want anyone thinking i was ignoring...... i am so excited...see he is changing...:love::love: So very odd. Who surprises someone with a vacation with no notice? I'd be concerned that he wants you out of town for some reason. Especially after you were calling his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Is he going with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nocontact2 Posted July 30, 2009 Author Share Posted July 30, 2009 yes, he is taking our family Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Appeasement, I suppose, to keep you quiet and compliant. If that's the "life" you want as well as the type of "family" you want your children to base their idea of a familial relationship on, more power to ya, but I feel sorry for the kids. I hope there doesn't come a day that you are no longer of any use to the MM. You'll be twistin' in the wind if that day ever does come. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 yes, he is taking our family Wow, I honestly don't know what to say other than have a great time. Where does he tell his wife he's going? Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Something about this is wwwaaayyy off. Anyone else feel the same way? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Something about this is wwwaaayyy off. Anyone else feel the same way? Yes, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Yes, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Well, after all the naysaying (and rightfully so, IMO) on this thread, it could be just a little eyewash for the LS crowd. Who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 I agree on the "off" of this and I am calling BS on the 'family vacation'. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Well, after all the naysaying (and rightfully so, IMO) on this thread, it could be just a little eyewash for the LS crowd. Who knows? What do you mean? You think this trip is pure fiction? Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 What do you mean? You think this trip is pure fiction? Like I said, who knows? After this fantastic story, anything could be true - or not true. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRise Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 I think even if the trip is real, according to some of the OW who post here, it is not uncommon for a MM to take his OW on lavish trips or to give her lavish gifts. It does not mean they will be a family or that MM is leaving his wife. Just means they are going on a trip. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Like I said, who knows? After this fantastic story, anything could be true - or not true. You're right. Personally I don't see how the OP can call this "our family." I mean the guy already has a family. He doesn't even care much about these kids from what she's said in other posts. Go figure. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Do people really live like this? I mean, can one woman be this intensely selfish? I get that you had the first kid before you knew he was married, but once you knew he was married, you stayed with him to have TWO more kids? I just find it so sad for the children. I couldn't imagine being able to look at myself in the mirror as a woman, and as a mother, and like when I see, when I know that I have cheated my children miserably, all because of my own selfish needs. Wow. Aloha, nonetheless. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 You're right. Personally I don't see how the OP can call this "our family." I mean the guy already has a family. He doesn't even care much about these kids from what she's said in other posts. Go figure. Like I said above, it's appeasement to keep her where he wants her. IF it's true. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Like I said above, it's appeasement to keep her where he wants her. IF it's true. I think you're right. I mean after this trip (if it's true) she can bitch and whine and he'll say "Look, I just took us on a trip to Hawaii for a week. What more do you want? Are you ever happy?" So he can guilt her into remaining in the background and leaving him alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts