LostoneTwice Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 I have a daughter that I don't see, but financely support and miss terrible, it a extreamly long story how that situation got as twisted as it is, I did not abandon her she his been kept and hidden for me. I have not dated for a long because but I don't want my ex to complete stop my pursuit of happiness, now here is the question when do I bring this up with someone I am dating. The realy tough qestion is what do list in online dateing site, I feel like admiting to automatically black list me as sume scum bag and not makes me a lier and I hate lying I have a degree in Marketing and Information Systems, and I am back in school for Sonograpy, I work in Sub specialty Radiology as a Priority case manger full time, I have lots a firends, and I don not sleep around, I have my own place, nice car, I am the real deal but I think becuse this one fact I am ignored in spite it all. Would you lie about it ? Ladies would that be the end if you found out your lover had something like this in there past, all comments are welcome Link to post Share on other sites
WineCountry Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 I have a daughter that I don't see, but financely support and miss terrible, it a extreamly long story how that situation got as twisted as it is, I did not abandon her she his been kept and hidden for me. I have not dated for a long because but I don't want my ex to complete stop my pursuit of happiness, now here is the question when do I bring this up with someone I am dating. The realy tough qestion is what do list in online dateing site, I feel like admiting to automatically black list me as sume scum bag and not makes me a lier and I hate lying I have a degree in Marketing and Information Systems, and I am back in school for Sonograpy, I work in Sub specialty Radiology as a Priority case manger full time, I have lots a firends, and I don not sleep around, I have my own place, nice car, I am the real deal but I think becuse this one fact I am ignored in spite it all. Would you lie about it ? Ladies would that be the end if you found out your lover had something like this in there past, all comments are welcome Lostone, are you saying you feel weird about admitting you HAVE a kid, or admitting the SITUATION with the child? ( not being able to be involved, etc). I dont see why you should feel the need to lie about having a kid. Tons of people who are looking to date have kids. And that would be a HUGE no no to lie about whether or not you have a kid. I wouldnt even TALK to someone who tried to pull THAT one over on me. But, if its the SITUATION involving the kid you are talking about, when the timing seems right, or when ever the conversation gets around to your kid, simply explain the situation honestly. You cannot control what your ex does. If your ex is TRULY giving you a hard time about seeing your child, and being an a$$ about it, it's not your fault. You can only deal with that the best you can. Most people who are mature enough know that horrible games can be played when kids are involved. People know the extent that some exes can go to to make ones life miserable, so who ever you meet should, i say should, be able to understand and sympathize with what you are going through. If they cant, then just dont deal with them. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 I'm female. And no, your situation does not bother me. I think there are more important things that determine who a person is and being judged because of something that is largely out of your control (although I would wonder why the courts haven't been involved) isn't really that fair. I wouldn't put it on the online profile, though. Just tell the girl about it when you feel comfortable doing so. It's hard to put a number of dates on it. It's when you feel like you could tell her anything. With some people that's sooner, with some - later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostoneTwice Posted July 27, 2009 Author Share Posted July 27, 2009 Thanks for the advice, currently on online profiles I don't answer the question I hate lie about anything so I would never say no. I am real nervous about speaking about it, so nervous I stooped dating for sometime Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Lostone, I'm sorry that you and your daughter are being kept apart. That is hurtful and damaging to BOTH of you. It sounds as if you would change the situation in a heartbeat...if you had the power to do that. And you are still financially supporting your daughter...so you ARE doing all that is within your power at the moment. From your heart's perspective, it may not feel like much. And I'm pretty sure it doesn't make things hurt less, or miss your daughter less. But, in my view, these are still things of which you can be proud -- you are still living up to your responsibilities to the full extent that others are allowing you. In any case, you can be honest and tell the women you date that you have a daughter but, because of circumstances beyond your control, you do find it very painful to talk about. As WineCountry says, if people don't have understanding and compassion for you and your current situation, then you really don't need them in your life, anyway. Wishing you many positive dating experiences, and sending love and hugs to you and your daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
Thornton Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 If you stopped the financial support until you received the access you're legally entitled to, you can bet your daughter wouldn't remain hidden from you for much longer! I hope you're taking legal action to resolve this situation... I wouldn't mention the situation on a dating site - many women would be understanding if they knew and loved you, but if you put it on your profile it will be an instant black mark against you and will limit your ability to get dates. It's fine to tell women about it after a couple of dates, after you know she likes you but before things get serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostoneTwice Posted July 29, 2009 Author Share Posted July 29, 2009 It has been my experience those who meet me then find out are very understanding of my situation. As for online I am now leaning to leaveing it unanswered, and hope that someone will at least give me the time of day. Thanks for all your kind words, for those wondering courts, and lawyers have been involved, not no avail, but I have not given up not by any means Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts