does he really care.should i put up with this. am i causing the problems?

[absolutely_sweet]

My boyfriend and i have been going out for like a year and 7months, ive been unhappy bc i feel like he dont care as

 

much as i do in our relationship.i tell him how i feel ,how i want to work thangs out with us to make everythang

 

better he just does nothing about it ,like talk to me about it.He always to tired to talk to me on the phone,pay me

 

attention,i think ive been put second for a month or so. he said i was the numer one priority to him. i dont know

 

what to do about everythang.today was our 1yr and 7th month anniversary and he said it was just another ole

 

anniversary and dont think he needs to say it, i think every anniversary is special. i feel desrespected bc if i say

 

something lil to make him mad or do somethang to make him mad he sometimes tell me "f*** you". that hurts my

 

feelings really bad i dont treat him like that , he tells me im possessive and i am not like that he may think that bc i

 

call him a few times and he never wants to stay on the phone long with me ,shows off infront of his friends when

 

hes on the phone with me ,treating me like crap. i dont know what to do i tried talkin to him he isnt concerned about

 

loosing me i guess we had a major fight today and i guess he takes everything for granted that everythang will b ok

 

 

but it ain"t , i just want to be with him,spend time ,and talk to him and be able to have a great relationship but i

 

cant if hes acting like a jerk.He has came selfish,since he got a job and he has to use his money for us to go out on

 

he seems n tells me thes to tired to, he use to not be. i think im just wasting my time . i just care and love him so

 

much that he takes it for granted that im always gonna get over these mean thangs he does.whats wrong with me caring so much?

 

 

i really need some advice, im tired of being depressed

[yes]

you've got not choice but to break up with him. you're in love with how you think he could be if only he cared enough. but look at the reality - he's treating you awfully all the time. you're just going to have to say good-bye.

i know it's easier said than done.

 

perhaps you could knock some sense into him without breaking up though:

stop contacting him entirely, and go about your life. if he calls, say that you're busy at the moment (and do keep busy, otherwise you'll go nuts!) see what he does.

 

best of luck,

-yes

[absolutely_sweet]

i have thought of doing that.It is gonna be hard bc i love being able to talk to him.i am gonna do that though i

 

thought maybe i should just back off of him if he wants to call me hes gotta call im just not going to anymore!

 

i just need to get it threw his thick head about how i feel and about me and him i dont know how, i feel like ive

 

tried my best. im gonna give it 2wks or whatever and see what he does.what really makes me upset he dont seem

 

to compliment me, everytime i do the trys to be cute and say's I KNOW, no matter what i wear i look cute, i think

 

hes getting lil cocky or hes picking with me,its just wierd how other guys tell me how i look and my bf dont.

 

hopefully this may work of just find thangs to do and not worry bout him and just be somewhat busy.

 

if u got anymore ideas pls help me out thanks buches:confused

 

oh yeah am i suspose to hit post reply? i accidently quoted this?

[Infusion]

Sometimes to break up isn't always the end. It certainatly wasn't the case for me. My girlfriend broke up with me a while ago even though I did everything I could for her, she felt that it wasn't enough. During that time that she's been gone from my life I felt really depressed and lonely even though I stilll talk to her everyday and treat her as a friend (I thought that if i really liked her, then it doesn't matter, as long as she is happy that's all that matters), but it wasn't true and I often longed for her to come back to me, to be there for me like she was before, So a month passed and I find myself talking less and less to her, and when I did talk to her, I always end up feeling hurt because she doesn't seem to care about me and take me for granted. Then for the next couple of weeks I decided I was going to stop talking for her, and that happened for 2, 3 weeks. But it seems that she occassionally sends me emails, i didn't really care then. Although one day she sent me an email and said that she still loves me and is terrribly sorry that she couldn't see or even realize all the things I did for her. And then we got back together ever since, she also seems to treat me much more like a boyfriend now than before when she never mentioned that she loves me. So what I am saying is, sometimes people do not know what you mean to them unless you remove yourself from their lives (at least temporarily). And it is this abscense of you in their life that makes them come to the realization that you are actually much more than they first thought you are, knowing that life is so much different without you in it.

 

I hope that helps

[Mayberry]

I have the same problem!

 

My boyfriend puts me last all the time, he shows off in front of his friends because he has to be the "Big Daddy Bachelor". We do our own things a lot of the time. I cannot be around him with our friends anymore because it seems that "I don't matter - I'm last"

 

The reply from "YES" really has me thinking -- it's kinda pushed me into another frame of mind. "You're in love with how you think he could be if only he cared enough". Thank you "YES" for your reply -- It's amazing - you never know when you'll hear (see or read) exactly what you need to hear (see or read) to get on with your life!

 

I'm thinking of you! We're on the same journey!

 

Do anything you can to keep your mind in a positive place!

 

Happy Wednesday! Mayberry

[purecountry]

A discussion in my soc class brought up an interesting point. The one in the relationship who shows the least amount of interest and/or expresses the most has the least to lose if the relationship end.

[bones34]

Originally posted by purecountry

A discussion in my soc class brought up an interesting point. The one in the relationship who shows the least amount of interest and/or expresses the most has the least to lose if the relationship end.

 

So does that mean that the person who shows the least interest is really the one who cares more?

[ASDFJKL]

I am the person who believes that everyone always needs chances, and a lot of them (But not TOO much). As humans, we are bound to screw up and do stupid things and act in certain ways...but what really matters in the end is who we really are inside and how we REALLY feel. Seems to me that your boyfriend is not mature enough or stable enough for a relationship right now. He is definitely taking you for granted...so you need to wake him up so he can see what he's missing. I think for your own happiness and sanity you should tell him you guys need to take a break. But you need to know how you feel EXACTLY: "I love you so much...but over the past few months, I feel as if I am being taken for granted. I just feel like you don't care about me anymore." And he'll probably go off and tell you how much he loves you...but don't give in, because he needs to show you that he loves you. SHOW you. If he really cares about you, you guys will definitely get back together. And it WILL be different, because during the break, he will learn more about his feelings and how he should be treating you...Good Luck!

[absolutely_sweet]

last summer i broke up with him bc i wasnt being first to him like i once use to b, i got treated and talk to badly, i said enough and i told him we need to take a break and stuff, well few days past he called and wanted to see me and everythang so i let him for a day, he told me everythang how much he missed me,how much he loves me and cant be with out me and i should be first, we got back together bout 3wks took me a long time to decide if i want to make this work, and i gave it a try. i didnt let him go back with me till that 3wks i wasnt gonna be easy . well like month or two, thangs are a lil back ,i feel he takes me for granted again and curses and junk i dont like it at all, i hate him playin that dang playstation 2 , hello he should b talkin to me and not b playin that , i believe he needs to grow up some and think about his and our future, im tired of telling him how i feel and how we should do this and that and it just goes threw his ear out from the other.i love him so MUCH, i have gotton i want to be w him all the time, and we live an hr away , not possible to do that. i just wished i felt important and him to adore me , hes improved a lil bit im just tryin to be patient with him.

i just need some help on how to deal with all this, im gonna take some time apart from being available to talk to him, and everythang. im just so blank right now.

 

or is it all that i make him revolve all around me and i shouldnt?