fooled once Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Stace, I think Ari just pointed out a few things to you. YOU have major issue with and it WILL ruin your relationship unless you just LET IT GO. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Stace, I think Ari just pointed out a few things to you. YOU have major issue with and it WILL ruin your relationship unless you just LET IT GO. Agreed. Ariadne is showing you what we all see - that you're seething with anger and that can't possibly be good for you or your relationship. If your bf was actually interested in maintaining contact, I can see how you'd be angry. But he's not! She can't hurt you or your relationship. Unless you continue to obsess about her. Carrying this anger around won't really accomplish anything except make you unhappy and bitter about something that shouldn't even matter at this point. She should be an insignificant speck in your rear view mirror. Wouldn't you feel better if you just laughed at her and let it go? Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Are you an "OW"? Sounds like you're taking my situation personally. I think you are just a few steps away from psycho. (Not yet though) Link to post Share on other sites
Author stace79 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 I think you are just a few steps away from psycho. (Not yet though) If psycho means thinking that I should have the right to confront someone who's doing wrong, or that it's okay to speak up when someone is behaving badly, then yeah, consider me a psycho. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 She can't hurt you or your relationship. Unless you continue to obsess about her...Carrying this anger around won't really accomplish anything... (And you really think you can reason with her...) Link to post Share on other sites
Author stace79 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 Stace, turn on your private messaging and PM me and I can maybe offer some insight into a few things. Sorry about the OT. Carry on! Done. Looking forward to hearing what you have to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Hello, Stacey. I do not think she can be compared to an OW - she is not even close to. She is just an ex. She was with him for four years, *before* you got together with him. Unless your bf cheated on you with her before he broke up with you at the beginning of your relationship to work through those her unresolved issues, she has not done anything to you. So it might be very normal that you cannot stand her, but it is not her fault! She just tried to contact him for a couple of times (she might have not realized he really did not want to hear from her anymore), and added his sister on FB. Period. You are not in the position where you can tell her anything. If you email her right now, you are going to look like the psycho new girlfriend. Instead of asking that his family does not talk to her anymore, it might be more useful(and it might make you feel less threatened) to try to develop a nice relationship with his family yourself! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 if/when she contacts him he tells me about it pretty much immediately, but not during work 'cause it screws up my productivity She didn't screw up your productivity, you did. Yeah she pisses you off but you're giving her power over you. Somehow you need to be able to handle this and let stuff go. You can't control who she talks to and if she is kind of friendly with his family, it's unfair of you to tell them not to talk to her. All you can control is you and own your own actions/reactions. I mentioned this in another post to you, but if you continue getting upset about this, it's going to ruin what you have with your boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 She added his sister as a friend on FB because both our profiles are private and she can't get any info from either of us. She is trying to find his new phone number or in some other way is snooping for any shred of contact. So her sister accepted the friend request. She could have denied it.. Did you ask your bf to talk to her about either limited access (can't see wall/photo's) or just delete her completely? Another thing both you and your bf can put the ex on block and she won't see your names at all. Link to post Share on other sites
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