I am pathetic

[pkn06002]

moved on just fine:) still doesn't mean that one can't despise despicable behavior, and her attitude and behavior are HIGHLY despicable.

 

Too you, who in the world made you the end all for behavior?

[bentnotbroken]

What you call "coddling" is far from it. There are ways to deliver a message that are not of the personal nature that BS's seem to like to do. Tell you what since you seem to disagree with "coddling" so much, I think I will start asking any new BS's why they were such a failure at meeting their spouses needs to the point where their spouse wanted to cheat. That would help a new BS turn their reflection in and help them become a better person don't you think?

 

Answering questions???? Almost every BS that has posted on this thread did nothing but belittle this WS. Sorry a answer never comes in the form of belittling.

 

But I guess a lot of people never listened to their mother when they were told "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything".

 

 

Most mothers also tell their children that they shouldn't hurt others because they wouldn't want anyone hurting them. It seems those people who hurt others by cheating didn't listen too well either.

[spiraling downward]

hes not bitter...he is telling it like it is. She SHOULD divorce her husband and is just using her own words here.

 

she was the one lambasting the MM's wife...I could ask the same...why so bitter towards a woman that is simply married to a man that she is laying down with?

 

that's most certainly bitter language... you just happen to agree with him, so you justify his words. That's because you are bitter as well... I don't think this forum was intended to sooth the hurt feelings of BSs... you can go to a multitude of other forums for that.

[Dexter Morgan]

Too you, who in the world made you the end all for behavior?

 

I think her attitude is highly despicable....if you don't, hey, then its your opinion that she chooses to tear down this man's wife that it isn't a despicable attitude. oh well.

[Dexter Morgan]

that's most certainly bitter language... you just happen to agree with him, so you justify his words. That's because you are bitter as well

 

oh no....*sniff*...how will I ever go on knowing a cheater called me "bitter".

 

[pkn06002]

Most mothers also tell their children that they shouldn't hurt others because they wouldn't want anyone hurting them. It seems those people who hurt others by cheating didn't listen too well either.

 

Valid point.

 

But then again cheating is a direct person to person interaction between people that actually know and can in real life interact.

 

Where the nastiness that quite a few here seem to relish in (to fill their selfish need to feel superior) is directed at strangers. Oh wait maybe that is because cowards like to be bullies and act superior when the don't have to actually deal with a person in real life. Unlike a cheater that does have to in person deal with their actions.

[pkn06002]

I think her attitude is highly despicable....if you don't, hey, then its your opinion that she chooses to tear down this man's wife that it isn't a despicable attitude. oh well.

 

It's par of the course on this subject.

 

What you are now the defender of all betrayed spouses now?

 

I don't know these people and don't care to. I care to interact with the person that posted not some other folks that don't have the ability, the intelligence or the time too post.

[spiraling downward]

oh no....*sniff*...how will I ever go on knowing a cheater called me "bitter".

 

 

There might actually be more virtue in being a lowly cheater than a pompous moralist like yourself.

[Dexter Morgan]

It's par of the course on this subject.

 

What you are now the defender of all betrayed spouses now?

 

I could ask you the same about being the defender of all cheaters....don't make ridiculous comments.

[MistyK]

I think her attitude is highly despicable....if you don't, hey, then its your opinion that she chooses to tear down this man's wife that it isn't a despicable attitude. oh well.

 

How is YOUR attitude any better? At least whatever negativity the poster had about the W was not directed at the W. The W will never know what this OW said about her. You, Dex, want to be the thought police. Is it nice to have nasty thoughts about a stranger (the W)? No, but that is the difference between adults and children. Children fire of half-cocked rants to stangers (posters), and adults think before they speak and keep thoughts away from those that those thoughts would hurt (in this case, the BW).

 

And I don't see you over there defending OW when BS call them wh*res, even if they didn't know that the MM was M. Get off it.

[GreenEyedLady]

The OP didn't like her responses and took her toys and went home.

 

One thing you have to learn about forums is don't put it out there if you can't handle VARIOUS views. Some you will like, some you won't.

 

And I get so sick of the "all the mean BS's need to stay out of here" stuff *sigh* It gets VERY old. Not all the meanie's are BS's.

 

As long as posters adhere to TOS, other members don't get to decide who gets to post, HOW they post and where they post.

 

I don't get why the need to coddle people is what should be done. I also don't get how 'we' posters are suppose to respond to a post like this? Tell her how great she is and how stupid that MM is for choosing his WIFE AND FAMILY over her????? How does THAT help her???

 

How about everyone answer the OP's posts instead of telling others how to post, who can post, etc?

 

I don't go over to infidelity and taunt the BS's...Hmm, but they sure come over here and taunt the OW don't they? And posts only are moderated when someone alerts. If no one alerts, there is no moderation.

 

And apparently someone needs to tell people what is an acceptable post because judging by some posts, THEY NEED TO HEAR WHAT THEY ARE WRITING IS UNACCEPTABLE.

 

There is no reason for anyone to come around here and degrade and demean a new poster, for God's sakes, A NEW POSTER. And this is the OW forum and it should be expected that an OW will make remarks about the W in her case.

 

S*** wasn't there just a thread about trading down?! WTH! You can't have it both ways. The BS is not a protected entity in this forum. This is the OW/OM forum, it's not infidelity.

 

You can be supportive without tearing down. Let me tell you, THAT will not help.

 

I don't even think the people with the rude posts even really care or want to help. My bet is they just want to know how far they can go and hurt someone in the process, because they're justified, you know. They were cheated on. That's their free pass, right?

 

NOT!

 

I don't understand why if people can't be cordial and helpful (which is a LS guideline) why do they have to post period? These are real people at the keyboard who are hurting. And trying to find their way. Slamming the door on them won't help them. It's not like she's posting like this in infidelity. Then I would understand.

 

This forum should be for helping not hurting!!!

 

Some people do help but the majority on this thread were just downright rude.

 

It's ironic that those of you who trumpet the golden rule don't practice it.

 

GEL

[bentnotbroken]

Valid point.

 

But then again cheating is a direct person to person interaction between people that actually know and can in real life interact.

 

Where the nastiness that quite a few here seem to relish in (to fill their selfish need to feel superior) is directed at strangers. Oh wait maybe that is because cowards like to be bullies and act superior when the don't have to actually deal with a person in real life. Unlike a cheater that does have to in person deal with their actions.

 

 

I agree with the cowardly position. I always have viewed cheating as cowardly. It seems that the view that cheating is a person to person abuse, that is more insidious. To look in a person's eyes and lie, deceive and gas light....is cowardly. It has a more devastating action. I don't know about others on here, but what someone says about me personally means very little to me. I think if that if I took it to heart, then I have no self esteem or self respect. I understand what public posting means. It means take what you can use and leave the rest.

[NoIDidn't]

I was expecting an introspective post from the OP based on the title and her announcement of her own wisdom and maturity.

 

But then, I hit the "old, fat, uneducated wife" line and her feeling that his choosing his wife was a poor choice. LOL. OMG, that made me laugh. I can only imagine the number of people that might say something that assinine to my H about me.

 

But this isn't about me. Its about the OP. And unfortunately for her, she will never get very far with her own version of wisdom when she won't own her own choices and can't understand that her MM chose the woman he loved and was already spending his life with. Just maybe MM is able to see his W for who she is and probably was (before the fat and old parts, LOL that comment still cracks me up), and wants to be with her.

 

Oh, BTW, I'm not old or uneducated. LMFAO!

[pkn06002]

I could ask you the same about being the defender of all cheaters....don't make ridiculous comments.

 

Oh you need to work on comprehension.

 

I don't defend cheaters or cheating. I detest (in your words despise) the cheap and petty tactics of internet bullies that feel the need to belittle people to feel better about themselves. In most cases (that I have seen on this site) those cheap, petty tactics are perpetrated by BS's that think they somehow have the holier than thou right to be rude to people they don't know. But that makes sense since most cowards and bullies like to hide behind being anonymous.

 

Try actually helping to move people away from affairs in a constructive manor. Maybe you will actually heal and move past the need for a site like this. Or you can stay addicted to the need to be a anonymous internet coward and bully people that need sound advice and guidance to move past their affair or cheating spouse.

[MistyK]

I agree with the cowardly position. I always have viewed cheating as cowardly. It seems that the view that cheating is a person to person abuse, that is more insidious. To look in a person's eyes and lie, deceive and gas light....is cowardly. It has a more devastating action. I don't know about others on here, but what someone says about me personally means very little to me. I think if that if I took it to heart, then I have no self esteem or self respect. I understand what public posting means. It means take what you can use and leave the rest.

 

With great power comes great responsibility. Just cause you CAN throw verbal grenades around doesn't mean you SHOULD.

[GorillaTheater]

I'm not a BS, but as someone who once trashed a BS rather harshly here, I feel I have adequate moral authority to state that the OP strikes me as a wretched person and that her husband would be justified in duct-taping her, boxing her up, and mailing her to Azerbaijan.

 

That anyone would dream of defending her actions is puzzling.

[2sure]

I hope my responses and posts - either as BS or OW - are not seen as bashing. I try , I really do.

 

Sometimes a person with ANY kind of problem needs to have the issue reflected back to them from someone elses eyes. An objective perspective would be perfect, but isnt always possible.

 

Sometimes the truth hurts, opinions hurt. Ive been on the receiving end and I know its helped me. Even in defending myself , Ive discovered words and thoughts I hadnt explored.

 

I do, sometimes I get really upset with posters who just dont seem to see what to me is clear. BUT , I have real and sincere empathy and affection for nearly everyone who is here looking for support or just communication.

Just because I call you out doesnt mean I dont love you.

[pkn06002]

I agree with the cowardly position. I always have viewed cheating as cowardly. It seems that the view that cheating is a person to person abuse, that is more insidious. To look in a person's eyes and lie, deceive and gas light....is cowardly. It has a more devastating action. I don't know about others on here, but what someone says about me personally means very little to me. I think if that if I took it to heart, then I have no self esteem or self respect. I understand what public posting means. It means take what you can use and leave the rest.

 

Cheating cowardly??? That is your personal opinion, one I don't share.

 

Cheating to me is an escape like any hobby.

 

Just because this is a public forum should not give people the green little to lose all common conversational decency.

 

When you are in an affair or coming out of you, you are very sensitivity to what people say. Especially when you come to a place where you anonymously can post your feelings and get feedback on how to proceed.

[2sure]

I'm not a BS, but as someone who once trashed a BS rather harshly here, I feel I have adequate moral authority to state that the OP strikes me as a wretched person and that her husband would be justified in duct-taping her, boxing her up, and mailing her to Azerbaijan.

 

That anyone would dream of defending her actions is puzzling.

 

 

Where oh where is that SNORT icon??

[boldjack]

Perhaps everyone should quit bashing, period! GEL, How is your bashing BS's any different than BS's bashing OW/OM's?

[bentnotbroken]

With great power comes great responsibility. Just cause you CAN throw verbal grenades around doesn't mean you SHOULD.

 

 

That's the way I feel about A's; because you can, doesn't mean you SHOULD.

[pkn06002]

I'm not a BS, but as someone who once trashed a BS rather harshly here, I feel I have adequate moral authority to state that the OP strikes me as a wretched person and that her husband would be justified in duct-taping her, boxing her up, and mailing her to Azerbaijan.

 

That anyone would dream of defending her actions is puzzling.

 

Who has defended her actions?

 

Which post by which poster?

[bentnotbroken]

Cheating cowardly??? That is your personal opinion, one I don't share.

 

Cheating to me is an escape like any hobby.

 

Just because this is a public forum should not give people the green little to lose all common conversational decency.

 

When you are in an affair or coming out of you, you are very sensitivity to what people say. Especially when you come to a place where you anonymously can post your feelings and get feedback on how to proceed.

 

 

We agree we don't share the same opinion about cheating, cowardice or how sensitive some cheaters are. Let's leave it at that.

[MistyK]

I'm not a BS, but as someone who once trashed a BS rather harshly here, I feel I have adequate moral authority to state that the OP strikes me as a wretched person and that her husband would be justified in duct-taping her, boxing her up, and mailing her to Azerbaijan.

 

That anyone would dream of defending her actions is puzzling.

 

No one is defending her having an A, let alone with a MM. No one is saying it;s ok for her to spit fire about the BW. But let's look a reality here....

1)the BW isn't here and isn't going to see that remark.

2) often such remarks are made by OW's because they feel worthless having been jilted by some jerkface MM who didn't deserve them inthe 1st place;

3)there is plenty of time to help her see that her anger at the W is misdirected - in fact one could say exactly that instead of barraging her with nasty posts about how dare she say such dreadful thing and what a terrible person she must be. I mean, you guys are hitting a fly with a hammer here.

[NoIDidn't]

Its funny how the golden rule goes right out the door when a poster is trying to make a point about others breaking it. :laugh: Reminds me of the part in the movie House Party where the dad tells the cursing kids to watch their f***ing language. LOL

 

This is a public forum.

 

I tire of all this whining about who does and doesn't belong in this forum.

 

Anyway, the OP made her own bed when she came here insulting the one person that has nothing to do with her little saga: his W. She didn't want honest discussion. She just wanted validation. And nothings wrong with that if a person can be honest with themselves and the people that they want this validation from.