Are they just feelings of resentment and jealousy???

[trixie34]

Hey guys..I need advise..First off let me tell you that I have been in a 8 year relationship (not married yet) with a wonderful man..But over the summer I met this other guy that I had this little 3 month fling with..I thought that he was a great guy and really started to put my feeling for my bf aside..and even went all the way with the new guy.

 

 

The only probelm..This new guy was MARRIED..one child at home and his wife was pregnant with number two..I kept telling myself that he was just looking for a good time and so was I..but then after we ended it..Mutually..my bf found out..not about the sex but other things...My life has been rough since then and we fight all the time..I know that I deserve it and I will take whatever punishment he throws my way..

 

 

My only problem with the whole thing is that this other guys gets off with nothing..His wife does not know a thing..Maybe they are just feelings of hurt and resentment but I want her to know..I want him to have to go through what I am going through..It takes two to play the game but I had to pay the admission for both of us and I dont think that is fair..He preceeds to make the comments that noone will mess with him or his family..I know how to contact her..they have since had their child but I am still half minded to tell her..Am I just jealous or hurt...Or should I just get over it..Life is not fair I know but why should he got off..

[moimeme]

You will not feel any better about what you have done by making other people's lives miserable. You'll feel guilty, mean-sprited, and petty as well as the guilt and remorse of the affair.

 

Take responsibility for your own actions and deal with the consequences you've created. That should be enough for you to do without plotting misery for the married man. Are you just jealous and hurt? No, you're trying to extend your misery to other people so they'll suffer along with you, which is a lot worse IMHO.

 

If nothing else, think of the married man's kid, who doesn't need to live in a broken, stressed family. Give that poor little kid who's done nothing to you a gift and keep your trap zipped.

[ncguy34]

I understand your feeling but the only person that would get hurt besides your ex boyfriend is his wife. She has a baby on the way and the added stress could do more harm than you could ever imagine. She and the kids are innocent victims and he will self destruct anyway. I would leave it alone.

[bryanp]

Hello,

 

I just want to see if I understand this correctly. You have been with a wonderful man for 8 years and you cheated on him by having sex with another married man in a 3 month affair who is married, has a child and his wife was pregnant with another child at this time? You boyfriend finds out about the relationship but you have not been honest with him that you had sex with this other guy?

How in the world do you expect to have a healty relationship with your boyfriend if you are still lying to him about the sex?

After everything you have done to him don't you think he at least deserves the truth? You are still disrespecting him. If the roles were reversed wouldn't you want to know the truth?

 

The fact that you would cheat on your "wonderful boyfriend" with a married man who has a child and he and his wife are expecting another child says a great deal about you and how you feel toward your boyfriend. If you still cannot be honest with your boyfriend then do your boyfriend a favor and break up with him so he can find someone else who will not disrespect and humiliate him like you do to him. I wish you luck.