lostforwords Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 Ill try to keep this story short and stick just to the facts, if thats possible. A few years ago I met a guy through some friends of mine, whom I found to be very attractive. However I found out he was in a relationship, so I never acted on the attraction and was just friends, he did not know either how I felt, as I thought letting him know would be pointless. Over this past summer, he split up with his girlfriend and through these mutual friends, I found out he was attracted to me. Incidently, he ended up renting a suite in my building. When "our" friends would come over either to my place or his place, they would "get us together" and we would hang out and have a few beers, go for coffee etc... Needless to say our attraction finally got the best of us, and it was agreed upon by both of us that a "friends with benefits" would be the best route to follow as I was not ready for a full blown relationship and neither was he. I would always end up at his house as it was just better that way. And soon I was noticing he started asking me to spend the whole night, hinting to clean his house/laundry; which I never did. As well he started coming to my work. Ofcourse I would be bombarded by cowrkers and my friends "is that your new boyfriend?" and I would reply hastily "NO." (Dont ask me why) It remained this way for awhile, and then I told him that I found a house and I was moving out of my place. He was happy for me however thats when i first noticed he started distancing himself and I ofcourse naturally reciprocated the distance between us. 2 weeks went by and I had not seen him and the "mutual" friend (whom he works with) told me that this guy really liked me and would talk about me all the time at work. I, as usual, didnt think anything of it until 3 days just before i was moving. He came over and insisted on spending the night as he had people that was crashing at his house for the night so he needed a place to stay. I reluctantly allowed him to stay, and thats when he told me he loved me and wanted to move with me. I told him no. That he could have the apartment I was in and I would talk to the landlord for him, but moving in together was out of the question. Needless to say, he slept on the couch, and in the morning he asked again which I said no and explained it just wouldnt work out. So I had not heard from him but just casually ran into him with these mutual friends, he moved back in with his ex girlfriend and we would say hi but that was it. Halloween night he went to our mutual friends house and found out we were all going out. He offered to come and pick me up, and I was rather shocked to see him. He proceeded to tell me that night that he couldnt stop thinking of me, he had asked our friend where abouts I lived and found out the street but not the actual house number. Many times he said he found himself driving down my street and hoping to catch a glimpse of me. Incidently his sister lives only 2 blocks away from me. I was rather surprised with his enlightenments but I asked him if he was still with his girlfriend, he said yes and he is splitting up with her again as it just isnt working out. I said I will not be the reason he splits with his gf nor will I be the other woman. He accepted this and like a true gentleman he drove me home afterwords where I slipped and fractured my ankle.... he took very good care of me. Nothing happened sexually. I had not heard from him in about a week until yesterday when I came home, I noticed someone had been parked in my drive way, and i found a note on my door by him telling me he just popped by and wanted to say hi and that if i got this note on saturday night to give him a call. I never did. So I know I did the right thing by not allowing him and I to get together again, however I am now finding myself thinking of him more and actually hoping he would just pop over, but I refuse to call him. I guess Im just a chicken ****.... but I just dont want to be hurt again. I guess I just want to know what the hell do I do???.... Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 I don't know if I'm reading more into your post than what you've actually put down, but this guy sounds awfully needy for you. That he likes you is clear, but things like I was noticing he started asking me to spend the whole night, hinting to clean his house/laundry and he loved me and wanted to move with me … I said no … (then) he moved back in with his ex-girlfriend, make me wonder if he needs having someone there in order to function. In a way, it's nice when someone needs you and wants to be with you, but that can quickly slip into a Sticky Booger kind of situation, and believe me, you don't need one of those in your life ("sticky booger" as in no matter how hard you try to fling that sucker off your finger, it just stays). I say lay low and keep open to meeting other people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostforwords Posted November 10, 2003 Author Share Posted November 10, 2003 I think part of me suspected that as well, which could explain why I wouldnt do these things for him. However I feel most times I owe it to myself to at least give it a try.... but just so damn scared. Keeping in mind I had ditched my marriage along time ago and entered another relationship out of blind love to which never worked out anyways. Since then I have dumped every relationship down the tubes when it gets too serious or goes to the next level... or Iam more open to just being a "friend with benefits." I want to be able to have a healthy relationship with someone and Im scared that I just might let the "one" get away sort of speak. And I know that I keep myself distant when it comes to feelings for that person.... I know.... Im just screwed up. lol Link to post Share on other sites
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