For those who have lost someone

[Lyssa]

Thankfully I have not lost anyone super close, but I know they day will come and I hope I am able to deal with it when it does.

 

Sorry about you mom and it seems she has raised a nice person that you are.

 

Currently my parents are well(getting old) but healthy... hopefully I have them around for many years to come and hope they can finally see some time that their son reached his full potential. I have great parents..I wish I could share them with some other less fortunate people.

 

Thanks A&A.

 

I'm sure your parents see and will acknowledge it. I hope that you will spend as much as time as you can with them while they are still around.

 

And for the loss of all your loved ones in this thread. ((hugs))

 

I've also lost my favourite grandmother. I still have some of her things of which one is a soft, coin wallet. Sometimes, I take it out and smell it, because her perfume still softly lingers. She and I were like heart twins. I miss her so much.

 

Thanks, TBF and I am sorry for your loss.

 

I'm not so close to my grandmother, unlike my other cousins as most of them grew up with her around them. My father's parents passed away before I was born and my late mother's father passed away when I was really small so I didn't know what it was like to have grandparents. I was told that the love/relationship between grandparents and grandchildren are different and extraordinary. I wish I had the experience.

 

I've shared the story about the death of my first wife before so I'm not going to repeat the whole story here. But I certainly resonated with the poem.

 

Once in a while - not often, but maybe a few times per year - I still get this palpable sense that she's there. Sometimes I hear her laugh, or see her shape, or get a waft of her delicate scent. Sometimes I reach for her in the middle of the night and feel puzzled because she's not lying beside me. Sometimes I even come close to pouring her a cup of coffee in the morning and wait to hear her pad her way down the stairs to the kitchen. And sometimes I cry. She's been gone for well over a decade, and sometimes it's as if I found her body yesterday.

 

Thad, I am very sorry for your loss. I cried reading your post cause I remember so well the day that I speed-dialled my mother's mobile number when I got back to work after she passed away. I can relate to what you went through (are still going through). Thank you for your post. It made me feel less insane (for lack of a better word) knowing that other people go through the same things I do.

[marlena]

I lost both my parents within six months. At first I was in shock and then I was devastated. Like Thadeus (I am so sorry Thaddeus for your loss), I found my mother's body in the bedroom adjoining mine. That image hauts me evry day of my life.

 

To this day, I feel guilty for some of the things I said to her while under extreme pressure as we were all (my sisters, my mother and I) trying to cope with my father's major stroke which claimed both his physical and mental faculties. We all had our hearts wrenched from us in one flat second. My mother, who had doted on my Dad for 70 long years, couldn't handle what had happened to the man who had been her universe for so long. She gave up and willed herself to die after I believe going off the deep end herself.

 

Five years later almost I relive those events every day of my life. I have never been the same again. I have nightmares, fears and an emptiness that won't go away.

 

In many ways, they are more alive now than they were then. I hear them constantly whispering things in my ear and their images are as real as the air I breathe.

 

Lyssa, I know that you, too, are groping every day with your loss. I know what a hard battle it is.

 

To all of us, strength and courage to move on without the people who continue to live in our hearts and memories as if they had never left.

[HsMomma]

I lost both my parents within six months. At first I was in shock and then I was devastated. Like Thadeus (I am so sorry Thaddeus for your loss), I found my mother's body in the bedroom adjoining mine. That image hauts me evry day of my life.

 

 

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Marlena}}}}}}}}}}}}}

 

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[whichwayisup]

((Marlena)) my heart hurts for you..

[marlena]

Thank you HsMomma. I am so sorry about your Dad's passing away soon before you gave birth to your child. Funny how life and death go hand in hand, isn't it? This is our immortality. Our parents live on through us as will our children live on through us one day. This is our immortality.

 

Your mother is an amazing woman. I might even think of giving it to my daughter eventually. Perhaps putting it in a place that she will find when my turn comes.

[marlena]

((Marlena)) my heart hurts for you..

 

Ah, WWIU, just saying that makes my heart hurt a bit less. Thank you. You are a wonderful person.

[Lyssa]

Lyssa, I know that you, too, are groping every day with your loss. I know what a hard battle it is.

 

Marlena, you've been with me through this since day one - you know how hard it was (still is) for me. I know you get it when I say : it's good this week and all of a sudden, it all seems bad to cope with. It's a neverending battle for us - since we were so close to them.

 

[[[[[marlena]]]]]

[HsMomma]

Thank you HsMomma. I am so sorry about your Dad's passing away soon before you gave birth to your child. Funny how life and death go hand in hand, isn't it? This is our immortality. Our parents live on through us as will our children live on through us one day. This is our immortality.

 

Your mother is an amazing woman. I might even think of giving it to my daughter eventually. Perhaps putting it in a place that she will find when my turn comes.

 

Thank you for your kind words, marlena...it's interesting to me, though, the way life is such a continuum. When my daughter was about a year old (the little dear was speaking in complete sentences before she was 1 & hasn't stopped talking since;)), she said to me, "Grandpa Angel (that's what we always call my Dad to her) was the best man I ever knew. He made me laugh so hard, Momma."

 

I found that stunning, considering he did indeed die before she was born. Depending on any one person's belief system, it can mean any number of things. I just happen to believe their souls touched.

 

My mother is an amazing woman & I think your daughter would absolutely treasure the gift to her.

 

Hugs to you!

[marlena]

It's almost a full moon tonight. I opened the blinds a few minutes ago and there it was, a big orange orb in the sky, just like it was the last night of my mother's sojourn in this life.

 

Then, it was a balmy night in May. She was in bed and refused to eat. She hadn't uttered a word all night. I thought she was depressed about my father. I sat on the floor next to her bed and fed her a few bead crumbs the way you would a hungry sparrow. I kept telling her to open her eyes and see the beautiful full moon. Of course, she didn't. She couldn't.

 

What I didn't know then was that my mother was dying. I didn't check for a pulse. I'll never forgive myself for that ..or some of the harsh things I said.

 

Sorry but I just had to get this out. Lyssa darling, yes, some days are much, much worse than others. I am so grateful that you started this thread.

[marlena]

"Grandpa Angel (that's what we always call my Dad to her) was the best man I ever knew. He made me laugh so hard, Momma."

 

 

 

 

Oh, he knew him. He resides in him. He is a part of Grandpa Angel. He feels this on some basic, instinctual level.

 

Hugs to you and thanks for sharing.

[Thornton]

Thankfully I still have both of my parents, and they are the best parents in the world. I lost my grandparents though, and I miss them terribly. When my grandmother was alive she used to say she could see my grandfather in me, his mannerisms and his eyes, and it comforted her because she could see that he lived on in me. Now my grandmother is gone, and my father often says I remind him of her because I like the same things and often behave in the same sort of way.

 

My mother shared this insight with me, written by Thich Nhat Hanh:

"Look into your hand and see all that have come before you, relatives, ancestors reaching back into time and think of the future and all the hand holds - all is at the present moment, past and future - looking into your hand."

 

When I look into my hand, I see my mother and father, and my grandparents, and my unborn children and grandchildren - those you have lost still live on in you, and they'll continue to live on in your children. I still carry the genes for my father's curls and my mother's nose, and in passing them on to my children a part of my parents (and of me) will continue to live. The thought comforts me, so I hope it helps you to feel better too.

[bentnotbroken]

There are some truly courageous people on here. God bless each of you in your journeys.

[HsMomma]

There are some truly courageous people on here. God bless each of you in your journeys.

 

Count yourself among them, BNB my friend - you're right up there at the top of the list! May He bless you as well.

[Lyssa]

It's almost a full moon tonight. I opened the blinds a few minutes ago and there it was, a big orange orb in the sky, just like it was the last night of my mother's sojourn in this life.

 

Then, it was a balmy night in May. She was in bed and refused to eat. She hadn't uttered a word all night. I thought she was depressed about my father. I sat on the floor next to her bed and fed her a few bead crumbs the way you would a hungry sparrow. I kept telling her to open her eyes and see the beautiful full moon. Of course, she didn't. She couldn't.

 

What I didn't know then was that my mother was dying. I didn't check for a pulse. I'll never forgive myself for that ..or some of the harsh things I said.

 

Sorry but I just had to get this out. Lyssa darling, yes, some days are much, much worse than others. I am so grateful that you started this thread.

 

I read this post the day you posted but couldn't reply cause it made me cry so much and don't be sorry (if you were) about it. It made me cry for you, in some ways - I can relate to how you felt on that evening. I can't say enough but here it is again, I am so sorry for your loss, Marlena - to have lost both your mother and father within one year..

 

This thread is for anyone who wants to talk about their loved ones - passed on or not - it doesn't matter. So let it all out.

 

There are some truly courageous people on here. God bless each of you in your journeys.

 

Thank you and same goes to you, Bent.

 

Last weekend, we had a family gathering at my aunt's place. It was nice but I dread going to my father's side family gatherings because they'd ask him "have you found someone new?" or "when are you getting married again?".

 

I know it's almost 2 years and for some, my father should have moved on and started dating but it's really not that simple.

[marlena]

Lyssa,

 

When you started this thread, I was elated. Finally, I thought to myself, a place where I can freely vent my feelings about my parents. Only you would have thought of doing something so kind for other suffering people. But that's just the way you were!

 

But not a million years did I think that one day I would be here mourning the loss not of my parents this time but of you. I just can't believe you left us like this...so suddenly, so without warning, like a warm and balmy breeze that caresses our cheek and then is gone.

 

I wonder now what words of comfort you could possibly give me now to help me deal with the sadness that has burdened my heart. What would you say to me, my sweet Lyssa? What possible words of comfort would you find to ease the pain I feel at your life being snatched away from you so violently, so cruelly and unfairly?

 

I feel the stages of grief... shock, denial, and now rage. Why did this have to happen to you? A girl so young, so beautiful, so vibrant, compassionate and kind? You had your whole life ahead of you. I feel that you have been done an injustice and somehow a part of me wants to get back at the person who has done this to you. Yes, I am in the anger stage. Anger at Lady Destiny and her sick and tiresome whims.

 

I wish I had met you. Remember when you invited me over to M? I seriously thought of coming as I do a lot of travelling. Now I know I will never come.

 

I think of your Dad and how worried you must be about him even now. Somehow, I know you will find a way from your place in the universe to comfort him the way you provided solace to so may people in your life. I know that you will do the same for me whenver you see me break down and cry because of my mother, my father and now you, my dear, eternal friend.

 

RIP Lyssa. And thank you for touching me, however briefly, with your angel wings.

[Soul-Searcher]

Lyssa,

 

When you started this thread, I was elated. Finally, I thought to myself, a place where I can freely vent my feelings about my parents. Only you would have thought of doing something so kind for other suffering people. But that's just the way you were!

 

But not a million years did I think that one day I would be here mourning the loss not of my parents this time but of you. I just can't believe you left us like this...so suddenly, so without warning, like a warm and balmy breeze that caresses our cheek and then is gone.

 

I wonder now what words of comfort you could possibly give me now to help me deal with the sadness that has burdened my heart. What would you say to me, my sweet Lyssa? What possible words of comfort would you find to ease the pain I feel at your life being snatched away from you so violently, so cruelly and unfairly?

 

I feel the stages of grief... shock, denial, and now rage. Why did this have to happen to you? A girl so young, so beautiful, so vibrant, compassionate and kind? You had your whole life ahead of you. I feel that you have been done an injustice and somehow a part of me wants to get back at the person who has done this to you. Yes, I am in the anger stage. Anger at Lady Destiny and her sick and tiresome whims.

 

I wish I had met you. Remember when you invited me over to M? I seriously thought of coming as I do a lot of travelling. Now I know I will never come.

 

I think of your Dad and how worried you must be about him even now. Somehow, I know you will find a way from your place in the universe to comfort him the way you provided solace to so may people in your life. I know that you will do the same for me whenver you see me break down and cry because of my mother, my father and now you, my dear, eternal friend.

 

RIP Lyssa. And thank you for touching me, however briefly, with your angel wings.

 

Marlena, this is the most beautiful post I've read about Lyssa. Such cruel irony that we are now mourning the one who reached out to others in their time of need in her own thread. I guess I'm still in the denial stage. I can't bring myself to believe it. I just can't...

[marlena]

I guess I'm still in the denial stage. I can't bring myself to believe it. I just can't...

 

Yes, I know, I know, SS! This has got to be the saddest thread ever on LS.

[Citizen Erased]

Marlena, this is the most beautiful post I've read about Lyssa. Such cruel irony that we are now mourning the one who reached out to others in their time of need in her own thread. I guess I'm still in the denial stage. I can't bring myself to believe it. I just can't...

 

Agreed, this was very touching marlena. She is the exact person that would have been perfect with comforting the loss of one of our own. My head is fighting with my heart, trying to convince it that this is true, she's not coming back and God was this cruel to take someone so perfectly deserving of life. I can't accept that right now.

[Soul-Searcher]

Agreed, this was very touching marlena. She is the exact person that would have been perfect with comforting the loss of one of our own. My head is fighting with my heart, trying to convince it that this is true, she's not coming back and God was this cruel to take someone so perfectly deserving of life. I can't accept that right now.

 

:( know exactly how you feel CE. Really I do.....

[marlena]

My head is fighting with my heart, trying to convince it that this is true, she's not coming back and God was this cruel to take someone so perfectly deserving of life. I can't accept that right now.

 

I know, I know... I go from denial to anger to overwhelming sorrow and then back all over again.

 

She won't be comforting me anymore. But her poem will. I will commit it to memory and say it over and over again like a mantra when missing her becomes unbearable.

[whichwayisup]

Marlena, this is the most beautiful post I've read about Lyssa. Such cruel irony that we are now mourning the one who reached out to others in their time of need in her own thread. I guess I'm still in the denial stage. I can't bring myself to believe it. I just can't...

 

I agree.

 

This thread touched me deeply.

 

((SS)) 'coz you need afew hugs..

[sb129]

The irony of this thread is just.... devastating. I remember feeling at a loss for words when Lyssa lost her mum, but she definitely knew the right thing to say to me when I lost my dad and my grandmother in April this year.

 

All those feelings of sadness have come rushing back now, knowing that Lyssas family have to reopen all those wounds.

 

My heart aches for them all.

 

LS has lost one of its shining stars.

[bentnotbroken]

What the hell is going on? Someone tell me. PM if you have to.

[sb129]

Lyssa passed away herself as the result of a terrible accident on Friday.

[marlena]

Lyssa,

 

I was out on my balcony having a smoke last night when I saw a full moon rising over the trees in the little corner park. I felt my heart sink. Oh, no, I thought, not you too, Lyssa!! I burst out crying. How could something so beautiful make me sick to my stomach?

 

I know that you would tell me to look at the full moon as a symbol of my mother's life and all that it meant to the people it touched. Now it has becme a symbol of your life as well and the way it so gently and sweetly touched mine.

 

I miss you, dear friend.