meet and greet thread...

[spiraling downward]

Ok everyone, wouldn't it be great to see what everyone's agenda is for being in this forum? I propose that we allow one post per poster in this particular thread to state their reasons for being here... no bickering allowed.

 

I'll start....

 

The reason that I originally came here was to try to gauge my odds for successfully winning the heart of my MW and starting a long term relationship with her. I am also very interested in the psychology of people involved in extra-marital relationships. I am truly interested in how people think and behave.

 

I have a great awareness of the odds I face in making my relationship with my MW last.... unlike many situations though.... I left my marriage very quickly and my MW is in the process of following suit... I left my marriage 3 weeks into the affair and my divorce is already final. She, on the other hand, started her divorce about 3 and a half months after the affair started. I feel like we are beating the odds already... only time will tell.

 

Ok, everyone join the fun... the rule is, you can only post once in this thread to state why you are here. Be truthful...

[Peanut9330]

I came here to get support and some insight from people regarding my relationshiop with my boyfriend. He cheated and lied and I took him back he cheated again and now he wants me back but i'm not falling for it.

[GorillaTheater]

I'm here periodically because I have a taste for mayhem, and when there's a post by an OW or OM that involves any degree of gloating, it sometimes fun to watch the fireworks between the BS's outraged at the perceived gloating and the OW/OM's who are outraged at the outrage.

 

It's generally a little repetitive, but no more so than an average sitcom.

[NoIDidn't]

I think reading a poster's posting history would serve this purpose without saying that they had some sort of "agenda".

 

This isn't a topic that you can talk about openly in most communities. Otherwise, this forum wouldn't be here.

 

So I think the "agenda" thing is a little out of line. Yes, some posters can be rude. I am sure that I have been rude on more than one occasion - but I try not to make it a habit as I really just want to discuss a subject that I am very experienced with and curious about.

[2sure]

I came here to find out more about infidelity. Specifically how to communicate my feelings regarding it to both myself and my husband.

 

I have been OW and BS.

[LUCY08NM]

I haven't posted here before but I have been "lurking" for a couple of weeks. I have been in a relationship with a MM for a little over two years, and he and I are both going through very rough divorces (mine has lasted almosted 7 months and counting and his is going on 10 months and counting) and needless to say it has caused many issues for him and I. One day I googled "the other woman" and I found a link here, and I started reading about other peoples situations and difficulties that they have faced and over come and even moved on from.

[skywriter]

I came here because a dear friend suggested I check out the site. I was looking for a place to maybe get some support and not feel so alone in my situation.

[GreenEyedLady]

Ok, everyone join the fun... the rule is, you can only post once in this thread to state why you are here. Be truthful...

 

Ok, I think most people know me...

 

In a nutshell:

 

I came here 3 years ago when I found out my boyfriend was married and I didn't know how to deal.

 

And he ended his M and we got married.

 

I'm here now because I want to help OW find their way. I don't know what I would have done with LS in the beginning because through posting I made valuable, lasting friendships with people who carried me when I needed it and kept me strong when I was weak.

 

GEL

[bentnotbroken]

As you can see I have been here awhile. I came as a BS, dealing with a bunny boiler,(still do on occasion). I stayed because so many helped me here and I wanted to help others. I enjoy quiet a few of the other forums; parenting, political, spiritual,infidelity and current events. I am at a better place than where I was when I came here and I have made some great friends.

[Adunaphel]

I started to post on LS a few years ago to get advice on an "average" relationship... since then I came and went from this web site from time to time.

I've been with two MM in my life - who are as different from each other as possible.

The first time I ended up really hurt, I really wish I could go back in time, and I feel bad for helping a serial-cheating, selfish to ******* cheat on his W, but - expecially after healing - I am partly glad about the experience... it basically changed my perspective on a lot of things, and it got me off a certain pedestal.

The second time...I would do it all over again. It is a complicated and difficult situation... it's also a LDR... there are financial difficulties... but he *did* get separated and is currently working to move out.

I love him, I think he loves me, I do not feel as an homewrecker, and I never thought he is a cake eater.

 

This thread was a lovely idea, IMO.

[MistyK]

I've been a OW for 2.5 years. I was M when it started but ended it quickly after the EA began (for a long subset of reasons I won't get into here). I came here because my MM has been moved out for months but is still totally enmeshed with BW and I have been distraught and dismayed for everyone involved at how he's handled things. I wanted to not feel so alone and to gain some perspective on the BS involved in my situation and her lashing out at me. And a not so little part of me was also wanting some hope that my situation would resolve soon, and relatively happily. I'm learning more everyday and hopefully getting progressively closer to healing.

[StoptheDrama]

I began reading this forum to try to gain insight into my situation by other OW's experiences. I stay on here reading and occasionally posting as I have no other means of fully expressing the wide range of emotions I have felt being in the A and now after having ended it. And there is something to knowing that I'm not the only one going through this.

 

BTW - I think this was a great idea. Several posters seem to simply want to bash the OW/OM and gain enjoyment from it. They seem to either forget or not care that this is supposed to be a forum for support - not a means to inflict harm on people who have never done anything to them.

[gopher]

I check in the read the threads and because of all the trainwrecks...I seldom post here.

[lkjh]

I started reading these forums because I wanted to learn the patterns that people follow in relationships.

[Lizzie60]

I came here when I googled 'Other Woman'.. and been here since..

LS is the best!!!!

[ladydesigner]

I came here after my A ended. I am married with 2 kids and had an affair with a much younger co-worker friend. He has a long-distance girlfriend of 5 years. I was unhappy with my marriage at the time and he had a long standing crush on me and was lonely. He ended things broke my heart to pieces and I now come here to lurk and occasionally get support,

 

I have been the OW and a BS

[silktricks]

I've been around for awhile. Originally I came to LS because my husband had an affair. I was still in a lot of pain and while hunting around on the Internet stumbled upon the site.

 

LS helped somewhat in my recovery - it also hindered somewhat. I found that some of my "prejudices" regarding OP were true for some and completely and emphatically untrue for others. It's been (for me) a worthwhile learning experience.

 

I'm still here because I enjoy the interplay between people, and at some levels I can be more "myself" than IRL.

 

I've been a BS twice and an OW once (and yes, I still had prejudices )

[fooled once]

I was in a relationship (I was divorced) and he said he had a bad marriage - this was 14 years ago. Our relationship lasted 2 years. During the first year of our relationship, he had moved out and rented an apartment for a year. We were never secretive about the relationship - he had met my son, my parents, my ex -- I had talked to his grown sons on the phone. He was 17 years older than me.

 

He moved back in with his wife, all the while feeding me lie, after lie, after lie. I feel for it hook, line and sinker.

 

He broke up with me - sorta - one time. He had called me, telling me he never loved me, etc and all the while, his wife was on the other extension listening. I could tell by his words he was doing it all for show. I told him fine.

 

2 days later, he called me and begged me to take him back, he loved me, he had to do that to get his wife off his back, blah blah blah.

 

I believed him.

 

Months later, his wife called me. We had quite an interesting conversation. I knew he had lied to me AND to her. I told her she could have him - she said she would be over to pick up many of his things he had left at my house (suits, clothes, golf clubs, etc). I told her to stay off my property and if HE wanted them, he could use his key to come get them.

 

Slowly, I noticed his things missing from the house. This took weeks. I confronted him on it. He said he was again only doing it for show.

 

After the last broken promise that he was 'leaving' and moving in with me, I said I was done. He begged me to wait. He promised me it wouldn't be much longer. I said "whatever" and started to date others.

 

3 months later, I met my now Husband. xMM knew I was seeing him and became possessive and angry. He had moved away with his wife and told me he was coming back for me. I told him don't bother.

 

I have never experienced as much hurt in my life as I did during the time I dated him.

 

I am here to help others. I am here to support those women who know they are in dead end affairs. I call a spade a spade.

 

I have never been a BS.

[LakesideDream]

I came here on the reccomendation of a friend. I stayed because I found kindered souls.

 

Along the way I've made friends, and worked out most of my demons. LS is a great place to learn about oneself.

[Confused4Now]

I came here looking for answers and how to deal with being in the FOG. I can say the FOG is lifted. I can see clearly now and I've met some great people...Love you GEL!!!! and Angel1111

[confusedinkansas]

Dr. Google referred me here (after I typed in "affair with married man")

I was very distraught at the time so I came for advice on getting over & surviving after an affair.

LS has become a sounding board for me since then...Separating from my husband (not because of the affair) / getting back together / dealing with an exMM that won't go away / day to day marital issues....etc. Thanks to all for their sound advice.

[jj33]

I found LS after I had ended an A with an MM but was still in contact with him and sought support in dealing with him.

 

I got a lot of great support when I came here. The forum has changed a lot in the past year. OWs dont get the same level of support that they did a year ago.

 

There is much more infighting between BSs and WSs/OWs/OMs and the threads often get lost in the t/js of the war between the 2 camps so that the poster's doesnt really get support or even answers to their questions, people just push their own agendas.

[jwi71]

I am a BS who came here for support and have since divorced my W.

 

I stayed because I think I can help...and I have learned so much about relationships, affairs and especially myself.

[stampdaddy]

I came here looking for LOVE.....

[Lyssa]

I came here on LS to gain some insights/opinions on OW involved with MM. It was tough in the beginning but a few great OW on LS came to my rescue and helped/supported me throughout my involvement with MM that has now turned into him being a fMM and me, fOW. 2 or 3 BS were (are still) great to me, as well.

 

Things haven't changed that much from the first time I came on LS between OW and BS etc. Maybe a few months, things were great then it went back to being "normal" .

 

I stayed on LS because I would like to extend my support to OW (not that much lately) and also, I went through a lot last few years and some people from other boards have been helpful in so many ways. I've met some really great people on LS and that is one of the reasons why I am still here .