One way ticket

[alvinpls]

I hv been through this "one way ticket" role, recently. I hv been having an online contact with her from another country. We hv been going on for more than half a year already. I cared for her a lot & always give her comforting words. I also, occasionally, sent her small gifts. Also, we exchanged phone messages. I guessed she knows my feelings for her as I hv indirectly response to her at times. Recently, I asked her if we can really move deeper in our relationship. She told me that we are both from different country & far away from one another & difficult to be together. She said all these time, she only act as a friend to comfort me. Her words really hurt me a lot. Bcos I thought we can make it as she never show any rejection towards me all the time. So I think all these time, I am being a one way ticket! I did not get angry with her. We still keep our online contact now, as usual. She continue to ask about my wellbeing, as usual. I also continue to share my problems with her, just like before. But eversince she told me about her decision recently, I hv a kind of funny feeling whenever we chat online. I really hope she will change her mind one day as I still love her.

[Ronni_W]

Al,

It sounds as if you turned a platonic friendship into a romantic relationship even though you had no evidence that your "online buddy" was developing any romantic feelings for you. Basically, the "romantic part" was going on only in your own mind.

 

To me, she has been honest and clear about how she REALLY feels about you and where she REALLY stands, as far as you are concerned. [so] It will only be wishful thinking and false hope on your part, if you're just going to hang around waiting for her to have a change of heart.

 

You're going to end up disappointing and hurting yourself if you don't/won't accept what she told you. HER truth and reality is she is not romantically interested in you. She's had a long enough time to get to know you, and you've both enjoyed close communications...and she STILL is not romantically interested in you.

 

My suggestion is to move along, and find someone who will reciprocate your feelings. If you'll find it too difficult (on your heart) to keep contact with this one, then probably it will be in your own best interest to sever all ties.

 

I know it sucks. But if you refuse to respect/accept her words now, it is going to suck even more later.

Hugs.