Joy Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 I am 22 years old and have been flirting with my 32 yr old co-worker for about a year now. At first it was just frivolous emails, but for the past 6 months or so we have been meeting up for a drink after work and making out. The xmas party is coming up soon and we have agreed to get a hotel room so we can finally have sex. The thing is, I still live with my parents (I just got out of university) and he lives with his ex girlfriend. They broke up on fairly good terms so decided to stay sharing a house together, but it's too fresh for him to be bringing back new girls. At first I thought he was lying and that they were still together but I have gotten to know him fairly well by now and believe that it has become a relationship of convenience. He is currently looking for a new apartment. Anyway, I have never had a long term boyfriend because I have never met anyone worthy of my commitment. At first I just liked this guy because he was sexy and funny. But the more we talk the more I realise how much we have in common, our life goals, values, beliefs... He is everything I could want in a lover and a partner. Or is he? Sometimes I think I might be over-dramatising things just for the sake of it. I don't think I have enough experience to know the difference between love and lust. Should I just continue to go with the flow? Is there any way of testing the waters without making a fool out of myself and risking our relationship?? Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 Oh, Joy. Hate to be the one to put a pin in your romantic bubble, but you are being lied to. He claims he and the ex broke up, but he still lives with her. I might even buy that one myself if not for the fact that he claims he can't bring you back to his house. Renting a hotel room?...Shady, Shady, Shady. Why not ask to speak this girlfriend to verify whether he's on the up and up. If he's an honest guy, he'll understand why you might be doubtful. If he flies on the defense and gives you that "why don't you trust me" crap, then you'll know he's hiding something. I'd be REAL careful with this one. Link to post Share on other sites
solitasviator Posted January 28, 2004 Share Posted January 28, 2004 Ill be honest, STAY AWAY. speaking from the point of view of the male gender, hes only in it for one thing. the two warning signs are definitly the hotel room and the "ex", also his age, hes probably just looking for a younger women to have some fun with, no commitment. If you think about it hes 32 he knows what hes doing, he knows what to say to give the illusion of romance to acomplish his goal, especially to those that are inexperienced. Please take this advice, speaking as a male there are those of us that have less than honorable intentions, i know all to well i have a few friends who are the same way. please take this advice, if you decide to go ahead and sleep with this guy YOU WILL REGRET IT. Also think about it, whoever heard of breaking up on good terms, that sounds like a very unlikely occurence to me. There is always an element of discomfort after a breakup that would make continuing to live together a very difficult thing. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted January 28, 2004 Share Posted January 28, 2004 the subject reads love or lust? but your post doesnt even go into detail to help us interpret it for you. lust = non stop thinking about about someone sexually infatuation = non stop thinking about the person (not in a sexual way) love = ? (i dunno) Link to post Share on other sites
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