Natalie Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 Elloooo everyone Do you think that once someone has cheated, he/she might cheat again? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 Well...I guess it would be the same statistic as having a car accident. Is the person who had it more prone to have another one?? The answer is YES. But that's just a statistic....it doesn't take into account circumstances, past experiences and what is really is going on with that person. Maybe it was alcohol....maybe the sun just hit his eyes in a wierd way....maybe he was blindsighted. Alot of things can contribute to an "accident"....whether in the car or in the bed. It doesn't mean the person is a eternal cheating SOB......it just means you fix what got broke and try again with your eyes open. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 I'm an idealist who likes to think that people can grow and change. But given my own personal experiences, I have yet to see any proof of this myself. But I still keep clinging to hope just the same! I think once someone has learned to rationalize this kind of behavior within themselves, its highly likely they are more at risk to slip back into old behavior patterns in a weak moment if given the means and opportunity. I'm still sitting on the fence regarding this one. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 It depends how they feel about what they've done. If they are ashamed and embarrassed, the chances are greater that they won't repeat the action. If, on the other hand, as Enigma suggests, the person rationalizes and justifies the behaviour, it won't be much of a leap to do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
rush Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 yes i think they would if in the right situation if i ever caught my wife or girlfriend cheating i would kick them to the curb Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 yes i think they would if in the right situation if i ever caught my wife or girlfriend cheating i would kick them to the curb I share your opinion on that one, Rush! But would you ever enter into a relationship with someone who had cheated on a partner in the past, or had a sexual relationship with a married man even if it weren't you? Would you be able to trust that person not to do it again? Link to post Share on other sites
rush Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 well let me see hmmmm ,i think i would if they were honest enough to tell me about it before we started a serios relationship,then i think the trust would be there Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 Maybe I have a more relaxed view on "cheating" than most other people do. If it's just a sex thing because the guy is deployed in the military or out of town on business or something to that effect.....I don't think I would make a big deal out of it. If he were actually "dating" someone on a regular basis.....now THAT would be a different story. I know alot of guys who play around....and I've never found them not to be committed to their families or not loving the person they were married to. I DO THINK, however, men are less likely to forgive than a woman is. Maybe it's a pride thing....I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
rush Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 i think a guy who cheats or women who cheats is not getting what they need in the relationship for a guy the number 1 need in a relationship is sex the man must have a strong healthy sexual relationship with his wife or he is going to stray ,for a women her number 1 need is affection if she is not getting the affection she needs she is going stray.so ladies make sure you give your man the loving he needs ,and men make sure you give your ladies the affection she needs and mean it Link to post Share on other sites
Fancy Posted November 11, 2003 Share Posted November 11, 2003 Like Dr. Phil says many times during his show..........the best way to gauge future behavior is looking at past behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 Like Dr. Phil says many times during his show..........the best way to gauge future behavior is looking at past behavior He's ok but this is one of the things I don't like. This gives people neither credit nor hope for being able to change if they try. Link to post Share on other sites
RedneckRomeo Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 I think someone who has cheated in the past is more probably to cheating in the future than one who hasn't cheated - but the chance still exists. It all depends on the circumstances and their reaction to it after it happened. If they realize it was wrong of them to cheat and sincerely regret it and 'repent' of their old ways - then I'd say they're just as good as one who has never cheated before, but if they try and make it look like it was alright to do - they might do it again more quickly than the non-cheater. The personality of the person matters a lot too - some types are more prone to be cheaters than others. As I grew up - the way my feelings developed for girls - I do not have the capacity to cheat. Its not in me - I've seen too many hurt by it, and I always develop too strong of feelings for the girl I'm with/interested in to even think of an other girl in that way until I'm 100% sure that its over or nothing will ever develop. Just the way I am. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 I agree with those who say it depends on each individual and their reaction to their wrong deed. I like to think people have the capacity to grow, change and improve (which the cheater who is aware enough to view their actions as wrong, will hopefully be trying to do!). That said, if my partner cheated on me, I'd be outta there in a flash! I just don't think I'd be big enough to get over something like that and restore the trust. And trust is very very important. Link to post Share on other sites
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