After 4 yrs...he has a new gf...is it a rebound relationship

[just_bella]

Hello

 

My ex & I just broke up about 2 months ago. We had a strong relationship. We were together 4 yrs. And we always thought we would be together forever. The first 2 together, then a yr & half in LDR,. then the last 6 again together. He is in medical school & moves alot for his residence program. We had a very good relationship. we hardly ever fought. The only problem was the distance. And when we did see each other we always made the time ours. We always talked, email or visit each when we had the oppertunity. I know we were not perfect and we both had doubts. But whatever the doubts we shared, the other one would always confirm what we were doing was right.

 

Well, two months ago, We broke up. He need more time with school. And didn't have time for us. He made it seem like we were taking a break. And once I finish school & he does, we will be together again. Well, I found out he is seeing someone new within weeks of our split. And things between them are getting serious. It is a girl from his class.

 

I am just wondering how can someone move on so quickly after a 4 yr relationship. How can he flip the switch & stop caring about me. He acts like his new gf means more then I ever did. Do you think this is a round relationship? And will it last

 

Thank you

[Arabess]

I would suspect the weak link may lie in the 1.5 years of LDR. Some couples make it thru that.....and some don't seem to do as well. If he found someone THAT quickly....sounds to me like he was missing the "physcal" part of the relationship he once had with you. I guess that could be considered a type of "rebound". Even if is IS a rebound relationship though.....it doesn't change the end result.....the two of you aren't currently together.

 

Maybe taking the time to go where ever he is and talk this out face to face may be helpful. If you could rekindle what you shared physically....then maybe the strength of your original relationship will resurface. It would give him more decision factors to work with.....than just remembering the past with you.

[lilac]

of worrying about the relationship that your ex has with this new girlfriend. I know that this is more difficult to do than it sounds, but TRUST ME, it will be the best thing for you.

 

Let's think about it. Let's say this new girlfriend turns out to be the one for your ex. I know that you thought that you two would be together forever, but let's face it, 50% of marriages end in divorce. Courtships have the same, if not worse, odds. Okay, back to my theory...your ex has this girlfriend and it may work out. Meanwhile, you are worrying about him and her: will it last, how can he love her and not me, did he forget about me? I say who cares, screw him. If he could move on that quickly with another girl, why would you want him anyway? If he did it to you, he may or may not do it to her.

 

Please, please, please do not waste your time thinking about them. Worry about how you will get past this and move on with your life to make yourself happy being single and prepare yourself for your next relationship. I don't know how old you are, but if you have been in a relationship for 4 years, you could probably use some alone time to figure out who you are and what you want.

 

 

I did the same thing when my ex left me for another woman after 6 years and they moved in together within a month. I made myself crazy. Until one day I said enough is enough. Guess what, that was 14 months ago and he is still with that tramp and he is miserable (called me a month ago crying the blues) I have met the man of my dreams and am happier than ever.

 

So, do not waste your time thinking about them...you can't change it. But you can change your future by worrying about yourself! Good Luck!

[just_bella]

Thank you both for your words of wisdom.

 

I realized that I am better off without him. He does deserve me if he move on so soon. So I am doing pretty good. I am making sure I put my self first. Forget him. I was doing even better until I found out about her & when the started dated. But now I am going to just concentrate on myself. I was not looking for marriage in this relationship. I was just happy being love. And I love myself and know deep down I did all I could in this relationship. If they can't see how special I am. They don't deserve me. I think it just time to just be me again.

 

 

Thank you again!!!

[Arabess]

Well Bella....you made a fine statement there. I just wanted you to know.....I know it's hard to accept the fact that someone "moves on" with someone else. It's like you have all the memories.....while they erased the ones in their heart. It's VERY painful.

 

Regardless of the outcome of your relationship here....I wanted you to know that I care and understand what you are going thru. Feel free to keep posting about it. Don't let yourself feel all alone.