sodapop Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 hey, this has some sexual stuff in it so, just a warning my boyfriend and i have been dating for 2 and half years. and we have our needs too. basically, we would call each other and go on webcam, and have a little sexy time. i'm always up for it and it's always fun. well, ive got some termite problems at home and yesterday some people just came and sprayed my toilet and room, so it still smells bad. im sleeping in my sister's room downstairs, and she's coming back later in the day. anyway, today, we just finished watching an old disney movie together, and he asks me if we can do it again. i dont really feel like it because i'll then have to move my things upstairs, make my bed (i took the sheets off) and probably endure the smell. or i can stay downstairs risking my sister coming back anytime. i didnt want to give him any excuses and sound too reluctant, though i did mention how it might stink. i said im not horny right now. he just says "fine i'll go to sleep then" (its actually about 3:30 am his time, 4-5pm my time). i tell him that im sorry and i love him. after a while, the skype disconnects and i just leave it be because i thought he'll be sleeping anyway. he calls back after a few minutes and ask why i didn't try to call him back. i explained it to him, and he seems to be sleeping again. after a while he gives me a talk about how in relationships there should be gives and take. he says that i shouldn't just take take take. and that he always stay up just to hang out and talk with me, and i wouldn't even satisfy some of his needs. he also mentions that next time i want to do it but he doesnt, he's not going to pretend he does just to make me happy. i thought this was quite weird cuz he's always enthusiastic. he also mentions he doesnt like doing it all the time cuz he cant go to work all tired. i tell him that i dont always do it because i want it but i do it sometimes just for him, and that he shouldn't let this one time bother him so much. he says one time is enough. but truth is, there were many times i did it just for him. even when it hurts, or i'm tired, or i dont want to go on webcam, i do it just for him. he also says that next time he's horny he wont tell me about it, and that if i am horny i should get it over it with myself. i just feel quite hurt that he's saying this about me. i feel as if he doesn't see it when i do things for him. but i also cant think of a time he doesnt do something for me because he's feeling selfish (im sure he's done that before, just cant remember it). i'll keep thinking about it. i just feel like it wasnt my fault, but i don't want to be blaming him and using past events against him (which he always does to me, but i dont want to be 'keeping counts'). i dont want our 'sex life' to end like that, though i doubt it will, but what should i do to resolve this? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I think he's being immature, frankly. But I'm also wondering why the HELL you wouldn't explain to him about the termites and your sister? That sounds far LESS of an excuse than just 'naw, not horny'. I would be a bit miffed if my bf just said 'don't feel like it' without explaining why, to be honest, although I certainly wouldn't throw the sort of fuss that your bf did. Next time I think you should try communicating clearly and honestly about why now would not be a good time and watch his response. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sodapop Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 he knows what my situation was, but i didn't go elaborate on it. i dont want him to think of it as another excuse. i did say "it's still kind of smelly" and he didn't respond to that. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 How would he know the whole situation if you don't elaborate on it? I'm concerned about the 'another excuse' part, sodapop. What you mentioned here about your situation doesn't sound at all like an excuse to me. And you did mention this was the only time you'd turned him down. So why 'another' excuse? Does he say you're always giving excuses? Do you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sodapop Posted August 1, 2009 Author Share Posted August 1, 2009 i dont always give excuses, but he hates it when i make up excuses (i've done it in the past, not a lot of times though) so i thought i'd avoid him accusing me of making some excuses. he said he has excuses for not doing it with me too, but he doesn't use it against me, and that i shouldn't be selfish. but i didnt feel that i was being selfish, its just wrong timing, and he doesn't seem to see it when im being selfless. Link to post Share on other sites
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