Notsogood Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 How do you know if you are missing someone because you love them or just missing them? Link to post Share on other sites
Thomas X Forever Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 How do you know if you're breathing? You can feel it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Notsogood Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 well my ex says she misses me, missed my company, misses being with me but she doesn't know if that is a good reason to get back together. For me personally, I love someone because I enjoy being with someone and enjoy their company. I'm not trying to question her doubts, (cos if she feels this way, then she has some doubts for sure) but just trying to understand where the line is between these feelings and love. Link to post Share on other sites
Beeotch Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Did you love them before? Link to post Share on other sites
mickleb Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 I have a theory that true love never dies. I loved someone when I was younger. Took me 5 years to get over him and then the happiness I shared with him re-emerged. It became pure again. I realised it didn't matter how he felt about me now and, by then, I could see exactly why it had to end. But the fact remained - I had loved him and that love was real, and that could never be changed. That love would always be with me. It didn't mean that I couldn't love again. I don't believe there is just one person out there for us. (I did at the time.) I love the man who has just walked out of my life. That, too, will never change. Although the feelings, now, change a lot. You cannot deny what is true. What you know in your heart. This doesn't really answer your question nsg, sorry. I think that TXF makes a damned good point. If she says she misses you but is not sure that is enough, I think she's saying, in her heart, she knows she doesn't love you. So sorry. Of course, she may realise something different in the future but you cannot hang on to something that doesn't exist RIGHT NOW. Move gradually on, my friend. x Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
WiseOne1 Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 Im going to say by human nature and human action, that theres no way you can miss someone that you don't love, you must atlest love them in some type of way. Think about it, by age 25 most people have been in love numerous amounts of times, or atlest thought they were. How many ex's do you miss? Maybe 1, 2, or none. You only stop missing someone when your completly over them, you cannot seriously say that you miss someone that you have no feelings for. So if you miss someone, you still love them, if you don't miss them, you don't love them. Link to post Share on other sites
broken_promises Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 I think that missing someone can also mean missing how things were in the beginning. Unfortunately, for many people, they mistake the beginning feelings of euphoria for "love" and then when that dissipates, they think that they fell out of "love" and need to find someone else. Obviously, they can find someone else and feel this all over again... until it fades and they think that they aren't in love anymore. I guess for me, when I question missing vs. loving, I can feel hurt missing the presence of the other person. I can miss what we had and what I hoped for. I can miss little things about him. But when I ask myself would I get back together with him tomorrow if he called and asked me to, the answer would be "no" in all likelihood. It's not that I don't love him or don't feel love for him or don't miss him immensely, it's just that... being outside of those feelings can give me perspective on how I didn't deserve to be treated the way he treated me in the last part of our relationship and that realistically I don't think that our problems would be magically solved just because we loved/missed each other. In my first relationship, we broke up after 3 years and because we were so young, I think we mistook "missing" for "loving" and got back together. We were together another 3 years and it was AWFUL. If I could have gone back and talked myself out of that then, I would have.... I wasted time on someone who really wasn't in it for me. But we were just swept up in missing each other, that we thought getting back together was the right thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
love_fool Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 I've figured that out for myself and my bf yesterday. We hung out all day, had sex even... and then it hit me--- we're not crazy in love anymore. It felt like we were just two people who are comfortable with each other, as friends. We've hit the point where we're just so safe together but nothing more. I find that I knew I just missed the past when all I thought about was the good things we used to do... not so much in the present. I fell in love with a boy back then and the man he's growing up to be is someone who's not right for me. Link to post Share on other sites
love_fool Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 In my first relationship, we broke up after 3 years and because we were so young, I think we mistook "missing" for "loving" and got back together. We were together another 3 years and it was AWFUL. If I could have gone back and talked myself out of that then, I would have.... I wasted time on someone who really wasn't in it for me. But we were just swept up in missing each other, that we thought getting back together was the right thing to do. Two years right here and the same thing.. we just didn't know how to end it. So confused about love because we're both so young (barely 19). The truth comes out though, no matter how hard you try to cover it up it exposes eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
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